


bleach boy (draco malfoy)

by party_poison36



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual George Weasley, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Neville Longbottom, Bisexuality, Childhood Friends, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drug Use, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gay Blaise Zabini, Gay Male Character, Good Draco Malfoy, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kind Draco Malfoy, Kissing, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Ginny Weasley, M/M, Making Out, Minor Original Character(s), Nonbinary Luna Lovegood, Original Character(s), Partying, Romance, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 56,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28852203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/party_poison36/pseuds/party_poison36
Summary: PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR USE MY WORK!ALSO ON WATTPAD UNDER THE SAME TITLE AND USERNAME!"Boots?" I hear Draco ask quietly, and I slow to a stop, tears filling my eyes as I bite my lip, hard. I always hated that fucking nickname. That one thing hasn't changed...I knew he was going to be here. I knew he went to this school, and I knew he'd recognize me. He's the main reason I didn't want to come.
Relationships: Angelina Johnson/Fred Weasley, Cedric Diggory/Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Other(s), George Weasley/Oliver Wood, George Weasley/Other(s), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. more details!

~this fic is in a modern time, so though all the characters at Hogwarts are from the Harry Potter series, we can assume it takes place in 2021 (minus the pandemic, etc.)

~No Voldemort and Death Eaters, this is in a reality in which Voldemort was completely destroyed after trying to kill Harry, and the Death Eaters never tried to come back without him (more focused on school and relationship drama :)

~this is from my wattpad w the same username, i put up the first ten chapters at the same time to catch up, but there will be at most one chapter a day, maybe less frequent, depending on what happens and what school's like for me this semester! currently on break though, i'll lyk whats up :) 

~sorry the chapter numbers are off here babes! cannot figure out how to change it and im too lazy to try lmfaoo sorry ly 

~instead of being accepted into Hogwarts and Ilvermorny at age 11, you are accepted at 12, so first years are 12, second years 13, etc.

~may or may not be spicy later! there will be mature language throughout, though, so you've been warned

~character ages! in this story, Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Fred and George Weasley, and Lee Thompson are all one year older than the main characters: Max Davis, Angelina Johnson, Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, etc. Ginny Weasley is still one year younger than Ron and Harry. 

~Max is in the beginning of fourth year at the beginning at the story, Draco is in fifth

~since it's my own story, I put the characters in the houses I like. So Fred and George in Slytherin, and Neville in Hufflepuff, but the rest are in the same houses as canon

~this is NOT CANON DRACO! if you're looking for toxic Draco, this is not the fic for you. (no judgement i've read my fair share). in this fic, Draco's much sweeter and wholesome and kind, it's my fic and that's how I wanted it :)

~there will be lgbt character and relationships in side characters that I ship! if you have a problem with that, fuck off, this is my fic and no homophobic or transphobic people are allowed! (I literally go by they/she pronouns, don't be an asshole!)

~atm my plans are to have all the parts in Max's point of view! that may change, but that's what I've got now

hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 1

THREE YEARS AGO

I swing the door open, breaking into a grin.

"Boots!" He sweeps me into his arms and holds me tightly, lifting me off the ground.

"I missed you so much, Bleach Boy."

"I missed you more." Draco ruffles up my hair, smirking, and I give him a shove. He laughs softly, nestling close to me for a second. The scent of his cologne surrounds me like a cloud, a sweet citrus mint, something I never thought would be comforting. 

My mother walks over, offering a smile.

"Hey kiddo, it's been a while."

"Hey Ms. Davis." He answers.

"You know you can call me Alice." She corrects, and he smiles.

"Right."

"How are you, how's boarding school?" Right, that's what we told her it was. Just plain, old, normal boarding school.

"It's good. Glad that it's finally summer. How's everything here?"

"Great, actually, thank you. Good to see you."

"You too."

"Okay, this is boring, come on." I breathe, grabbing his arm, and he grins, following me outside. Once we're a few yards away, I glance over, meeting his gaze and raising an eyebrow. "What's magic school been like?"

"Magic school? Why are you calling it magic school?" He snickers, and I grin.

"That is literally what it is."

"You know the name, I've told you the name."

"That makes it seem cooler, and it's literally a castle where you wave magic wands and lift feathers."

"That was the first week, like a year ago-"

"But it's true." I add, and he rolls his eyes.

"Technically, I guess." He mutters, and I smirk. "Muggle school's the same for you?"

"No, actually. Kind of drastically changed these last few months, my teachers decided to make my life miserable."

"Seriously?" He asks, eyes wide.

"No, of course not." I smile. "Nothing's changed in two years, idiot. Nothing's new." I sigh, and he shoves me a little.

"You're a moron."

"I know, I know." I breathe, and he pulls me into a hug suddenly.

"I missed you, Boots." He murmurs, holding me gently, and I pull him closer.

"At least it's summer, right?" I whisper. "It's been so long since I've seen you."

"But.. but it's okay, though. We still have three months." He says softly. Three months. Just three months, and then I move back to America. Then I might not get to see him for a few years, at least. Tears fill my eyes, and I bite my lip. "Hey. Don't cry, it'll be alright." I glance up at him, and he gently takes me back into his arms. "It's okay." I burst into tears, and he holds me a bit tighter. I lean into the crook of his neck. Draco presses his cheek to my hair, staying quiet for a little while, letting me cling on to him so tight it almost hurts.

"I just.. I just don't want to lose you." 

"You'll never lose me, Boots. Ever." He murmurs. "Okay? No matter what." I nod, and he wipes away my tears.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 2

CURRENT DAY

"Maxine, what happened?" Professor Zolia asks, sitting at her desk across from me. Her cool green eyes stare deep into mine, her lips pursed tightly. But I manage a bit of a smirk, despite the sincerity of the situation.

"I beat him up. I thought that was obvious." I mutter, and she sighs. 

"Three years you've attended this school, Ms. Davis. Three years, and you've caused some trouble, but assault was never an issue."

"Come on, Professor. He's the one that started it."

"According to all of the students around you, you threw the first punch." She says, and I roll my eyes. 

"I guess I technically punched him first, but he deserved it." I say.

"This isn't like you, Max." She replies after a slight pause, and I chew on my bottom lip.

"All due respect, how would you know what is or isn't like me, Professor?" I ask quietly, and she doesn't respond. I force myself to meet her gaze, picking at the edges of my fingers in my lap, dried blood crusted on my knuckles. "I can handle being pushed around. Really, I can. You know that. But he upset Jane."

"So this is about Ms. Anderson?"

"I never said it was about Jane. I said he upset her."

"Can you explain, please?"

"He made her cry, what was I supposed to do, just let it go?"

"No, you were supposed to report it to a teacher if it was really that serious." She says, raising an eyebrow, and I clench my jaw. 

"Respectfully, Professor Zolia, you never actually do anything about it. I didn't want another 'there's nothing we can do', or 'it's out of my hands', or even 'he's got detention', because that's not good enough." I hiss. 

"Then communicate that, Ms. Davis. Not only did violence not get you anywhere, but it's only getting you in trouble." She says, and I groan.

"Let me guess. Horned Serpent's Professor Caldwell came and saved Andrew's ass again, did she?" I spit through my teeth. 

"Language." She breathes, then hesitates. Those few seconds are enough for me to know I'm right. Caldwell got him out of it. Just like usual. "Listen, Maxine. You're my best student, you're top of Pukwudgie house. But the state in which you put Mr. Hearn is unexcusable." She says, and I can't help but grin, hiding laughter. "It's not funny." She says coolly, and I snicker, running my fingers through my knotted curls. 

"I know. I never said it was." I retort, and she sucks in her breath. "But let me guess. Detention? Suspended? Maybe even expelled? I really don't care at this point." It's Zolia's time to smile as she shakes her head slightly. 

"Ms. Davis. As I stated before, you're a good student. You're quite smart, too, but it's clear this environment isn't good for you. So, the Headmaster and I came to a decision. You're going to spend a year abroad at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." My heart drops to my stomach, a black ball of dread spinning up a horrible nauseous feeling in my stomach. 

"No. Please dear God, don't send me to Hogwarts." I breathe, my voice caught in my throat. He goes to Hogwarts. He's gone to Hogwarts since he was twelve, I don't doubt he's still there. I can't see him again. 

"We've already decided. You're leaving in the morning, pack up your things, Max."

"Son of a bitch." I exhale, and she gives me a look. "You're sending me to Britain for a year, Professor. You can allow me to curse one time."

"It's not a bad school, it's quite beautiful, Ms. Davis."

"Whatever."

"I understand you're upset. But it's only two weeks into the year. You'll make friends quickly, and you know that this is because of your actions."

"So Andrew made a comment about her body, gets off without a single punishment, and I'm shipped off to another country? I just roughed him up a little." I mumble.

"You knocked him unconscious, Max. This isn't a debate, you're going to Hogwarts." She says, and I ball up my fists, my nails digging deep into my palms, the cuts on my knuckles splitting open easily. Tiny beads of crimson red drip down my hands, and I nod. 

"Fine." I growl, snatching my bag off the ground. "I'll go pack." I start towards the tall mahogany door. 

"And Ms. Davis?" Professor Zolia says, and I stop, looking back at her, trying desperately to ignore the tears brewing in my eyes. "If it makes you feel better, I tried my best to get him suspended. I'm sorry nothing happened."

"It's not your fault." I run a hand through my hair, grabbing the door handle. "I hate this fucking school." I whisper under my breath, stepping out of her office and trotting down the steps. 

I'm going to have to see to Draco Malfoy again. 

I'd rather get fucking expelled.


	4. Chapter 3

"So? What happened?" Jane asks, jogging to my side outside of the office. I snicker hollowly, the empty, sick feeling in my stomach only growing worse.

"Guess I'm spending a year abroad."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asks, clearly confused. I stop, speaking through clenched teeth.

"You know Professor Caldwell." I say, and Jane presses her lips in a straight line.

"You're kidding. You have to be kidding." She whispers, and I shake my head, faking a sickly sweet grin.

"No. Bitch got Andrew out of it, and I initiated the fight, so.. I'm being shipped to England for a year. Professor Zolia probably kept me from getting expelled, but I really couldn't want to go to a British school less." I say, and Jane nods.

"Makes sense. British people are weird." She says, awfully mocking an accent, and I laugh lightly. 

"Yeah, no shit. But whatever, right? It's just a year, I can probably visit on weekends and facetime anyways." I say. But I can't stop thinking about Draco. I've managed to push away that anger for three years and ignore it, but I can't do that if we go to the same damn school. What the fuck am I going to do?

"Plus, you could probably sneak out and go look at some cool places in England." Jane says, offering a smile, small black coils of hair falling into her eyes, and I nod. She's trying to make this better. Knowing Jane, she probably feels bad I got into the fight protecting her, but I'd do it again. Not her fault he was being a dick.

"Yeah. Sure." I take in a deep breath, headed towards the common room. "I have to pack all my stuff tonight, apparently I leave in the morning."

"Wait, tomorrow?! That's ridiculous, they're not even giving you a week?"

"I know, it's fucking absurd. But I don't have much, so I'm going to go and get everything into my bags. I'll see you in the morning." I stalk off before she can reply, heading up the stone steps and past the curtain into the Pukwudgie common room. Trotting down the stairs and into my dorm, I open up my closet and snatch out the suitcase.

Tossing in all of my clothing, I set out an outfit for the next day, tears filling my eyes.

Three years I've spent trying to bury the thought of Draco Malfoy. Three years of pain and crying and memories I've wanted to erase. Three years. It's been three years, and I've still gotten no word from him.

I try to ignore the tears that drip down my flushed cheeks, continuing to pack quietly.

He made it perfectly clear he didn't want to speak to me anymore. It was painfully obvious how little he cared about me, and what? I'm still here, crying about it? Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Three years ago. Three fucking years ago. Damn it, Max. Get the fuck over it. 

THE NEXT MORNING

I drench myself in black, with fishnets, a tennis skirt, mock neck bodysuit, and corset top, finished with huge platform boots. Have to make a scary first impression, that's what I always say. Gotta make sure people know not to fuck with you. It's the best policy.

Strutting out to the common room, I set down my packed up bags, my hands aching in pain. Jane and Quinn walk over, tears in both of their eyes. 

"Guys, don't cry." I say, and they pull me into a bone-crushing embrace. 

"We're going to miss you so much!" Quinn cries, and I push down my own tears, putting on a smile. 

"Hey, come on. I'll be fine, and I'll come visit every few weekends. We're magic, you know, it isn't difficult to apparate." I say, and Jane nods a little, biting her mauve lip and chewing intensely. "Really, I'll be just fine. You guys still have each other, plus, you'll get into less trouble without me around." I laugh, a forced, echoed and hollow sound, only making me sound worse. 

"Max-"

"Don't worry about me." 

"We've been friends for three years. We're going to worry about you, that's our job." Jane says firmly, and I smile a little. 

"Okay. But it'll be just fine. Let's go get some food, it's already noon, you've only got an hour."

"Alright, alright." Quinn pulls me out of the common room and drags me to the Dining Hall. 

I sit beside her and Jane, pouring myself a cup of coffee and a scone, barely eating any of it, leaving the pastry deserted on my plate. Only one hour, 60 minutes, 3600 seconds, until I might see Draco.

I've never felt more sick in my entire life.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?" Jane asks, and I nod. 

"Of course. I stand by what I did, Jane."

"You didn't have to do that, Max. People say things like that to me all of the time."

"They won't anymore."

"Did.. did you beat him up because he commented on Jane's weight or because of what happened between you before summer?" Quinn murmurs, and I glance down at my plate, not really responding for a second, my heart aching in my chest. I know deep down that his stupid remark really was just the final straw that completely set me off. But I also know that he would've erased what happened between us. 

I didn't and don't want him to ever forget my name. I simply ensured he never will. 

"He shouldn't have said that about her. That's all." I answer shortly. "But.. uh.. you guys will still text me, right? Keep me up to date on everything that's happening?"

"Of course. We'll text you every day." Jane says, smiling just slightly, her deep eyes shining gold in the morning sunlight. 

"Thanks Jane." I reply, and Quinn hesitates. 

"Listen, I know you, Max. You'd never be nervous to go and take over some other school, so.. it.. it's because.. that guy that goes to Hogwarts, you said his name was-"

"Draco, yeah, I'm aware, Quinn." I snap, then stop, taking a deep breath, slight regret sweeping over my annoyance. "Sorry, I'm just... I'm kind of freaking out."

"It's alright, I think I'd be a little worried if you weren't." She answers. "But you're going to be okay, Max. You can stand up for yourself, and you don't have to talk to him."

"I don't want to, and I doubt he's going to start up a conversation with me." I mutter. "But it's fine. I plan on simply ignoring him. Seems like he's familiar with the idea, so I think it'll work out alright."

"Just call if you need us, okay?" Jane says, and I nod in response. 

"Ms. Davis." I turn, seeing Professor Zolia. "It's time."

"I thought you said I was leaving at one?" I ask, confused, and she shakes her head. 

"They're about to start dinner earlier than we thought, so the Headmaster would like you to go now and be able to speak to other students." She says, and I nod, the dread in my stomach spreading to my throat and making it impossible to speak. "Come along." I get up and wave to Jane and Quinn, following her out of the hall and walking by her side. 

"You're going to be assigned a dorm in Hufflepuff house, almost exactly the same as Pukwudgie. We'll apparate to the Dining Hall, and I'll let you enter on your own. Your things are already in your dorm there, and an older Hufflepuff student will help show you to your room." She pauses, and then stops, looking at me. "Do you understand?" 

"Yeah." I choke out, focusing on my breath to try and push away the building anxiety. 

"Great. Take my hand." Zolia commands, and I grip her fingers tightly as the world breaks into a sickening spin, twisting and turning and pulling me in every single direction at once. 

After what feels like forever, the sensation stops, and cool air bites at my legs, the two of us standing outside in a beautiful open stone hallway. The doors to the Dining Hall stand tall before us, loud chatter behind them, and I glance at my Professor, starting to get past my nerves. 

"I'll be okay, right?" I ask, and she nods. 

"You're hot-headed, Ms. Davis, but a good student and a loyal friend. I'm sure you'll be just fine here." Zolia murmurs, and her words provide odd comfort. 

"Thanks, Professor."

"Of course. Good luck, and Max?"

"Yes?"

"It's not much, but I got Andrew detention for two months." She says, and I smile a little. "Try not to beat anyone else up, will you?"

"I'll do my best." I smirk, and she disappears in a flash. 

I walk up to the huge carved doors and take a deep breath. This is it. This is the start of a new, cursed goddamn year. So fuck it, right?

I shove my weight through my palms, into the doors, and throw them wide open.


	5. Chapter 4

I throw open the doors to the Great Hall, and the room goes deathly silent. I can feel every student's eyes on me, and I can't help but smirk a little. It's like I said. Have to make an entrance.

Glancing around the room, I see a blur of four main colors, crimson red, sapphire blue, golden yellow, and forest green. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. The house colors are scattered across the room, different kids from every house sitting with one another. The yellow is me, I believe. Hufflepuff is similar to Pukwudgie, that's the house I belong to here.

"You must be the one from Ilvermorny." I turn, the room starting to break back into loud conversation. Two, ridiculously tall redhead twins grin down at me. They're both at least half a foot taller than me, with floppy copper hair and bright chestnut brown eyes, freckles sprayed across their cheeks. The one on the right is just a little taller, with a rounder face, and thinner lips, a slight scar across his brow. The one on the left is a hint shorter, with a longer, stronger face and fuller lips, a softer look in his eyes. 

"That obvious, huh?" I say, and the one on the right smirks. 

"I'm Fred Weasley, this is George." He says, and I nod. 

"I'm Max Davis."

"Nice to meet you Max. You should sit with us." George says, and I smile a little. 

"That'd be great, I know nobody here." That's a blatant lie, but I have zero interest in finding Draco. George takes my arm in his, leading me to a small crowd of students. Unlike the twins, who wear silver and emerald ties, most of them wear red and gold. 

"Alright. This is everyone." Fred says, and I look at him, raising an eyebrow. 

"You know that I don't know what any of their names are, right?" I ask, and he grins. 

"Right, right. Everyone, introduce yourselves." George adds. 

"I'm Hermione Granger." A Gryffindor girl, with big, curly brown hair and the brightest smile. Her posture is perfect, almost a little too perfect, but she has a strong jaw and kind eyes.

"I'm Ginny Weasley." A tougher looking Gryffindor girl, with dark red hair and deep navy blue eyes. A soft smile breaks across the intimidating expression, and she offers a tiny wave. She sits tall, appearing unaffected by anyone around her. 

"Luna. Luna Lovegood." An ethereal appearing Ravenclaw, with long, softly curled icy blonde hair and pale eyes, with a chunky sweater and big strawberry earrings. I noticed Luna's hand curled around Ginny's on the dinner table, and smile a little. They both give off intensely different energy, but seem to go perfect together.

"I.. I'm Neville Longbottom." Another Hufflepuff boy, who sits a little crooked, seeming a bit timid. He has beautiful hazel eyes and freckles that cover every inch of his flushed skin, his curly hair floppy on his rounder face.

"I'm Ron Weasley." A Gryffindor boy with a mouthful of food and a mess of shining red hair says, his deep blue eyes meeting mine as he smiles. I can't help but grin back, noticing his robe put on a bit sloppy and his shirt buttoned wrong.

"And I'm Harry Potter." I do my best to not show any surprise, remaining calm. He's got a cool presence, with big, round glasses and the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen. His hair is tossed around on his head in a rather messy way, but he seems fairly composed. 

I nod in response. 

"Cool. I'm Maxine Davis. Call me Max." I reply, sitting beside Ginny. Harry stares at me blankly for a second, and I meet his gaze. "Relax, I'm not going to fangirl over you, pretty boy." I say, getting my helping of food, suddenly quite hungry, and Ginny snickers. 

"We're going to be great friends." She says, tossing her hair over her shoulder, and I grin. 

"I wasn't hoping you would." Harry answers. "I actually appreciate that you didn't." he looks slightly relieved, and I nod, fighting off the urge to laugh. 

"Yeah, I've got my own fair share of trauma. Don't want to imagine what it'd be like to be famous for it." I say, and he nods, hiding a grin. 

"Yeah, you've no idea." He answers. 

"So. Ilvermorny, what's it like?" Ginny asks, and I snicker.

"Not good. A bit smaller and a handful of not great people. What's it like here?" I reply, and she rolls her eyes.

"Not lovely, but hopefully a bit better."

"Is all of that why you decided to study abroad for a year?" Hermione asks, that same, bright look on her face, and I shake my head. 

"Oh, I didn't decide to study abroad." 

"What do you mean?" She asks, and I lift up my right hand, showing her my bruised and cut up knuckles. Her eyes widen, and I sigh. 

"They forced me to so I wouldn't get suspended or expelled." I say, and Ginny breaks into a grin. 

"Wicked." She says, and I grin right back. 

"I think so. My Professors.. well, we'll just say they.. did not." 

"So you just got into a fight? That's it?" Fred asks, and I shrug. 

"I kind of knocked him out. He.. He's still unconscious, actually, and it happened yesterday at dinner." All of their jaws drop, and I take a few bites of food. "I'm nice, I promise." I say, and George stares at me. 

"Aren't you in Hufflepuff?"

"I think, yeah. Why?"

"Most Hufflepuffs.. don't do that kind of thing." Harry adds, and I smirk. 

"This one does. He made my friend cry. I don't know about you guys, but I don't stand for that kind of thing." I take a sip of water, and glance at Ginny and Luna. "You two are unbelievably cute." I breathe, and Luna smiles softly. 

"Thank you. You're quite beautiful yourself, you know." She murmurs, and the blood rushes to my cheeks. 

"I.. thanks." I mumble, surprised. 

"They're not wrong, you're gorgeous." George adds, a cocky grin plastered on his face, and I can't help but laugh. 

"Shut it, Weasley."

"You're in fourth year, right?" Hermione asks, and I nod. "So am I, along with Harry, Ron, Luna, and Neville. Fred and George are a year older, Ginny's a year younger." 

"Got it. I should ask, though, it's only Saturday, so.. can you guys show me around tomorrow? This place is huge."

"Of course. We can be your personal tour guides." Fred says, raising an eyebrow suggestively, and I laugh, Ginny shooting them a dirty look. 

"They're not usually like that. I apologize on their behalf." She sighs, sounding tired, and I shake my head, finally starting to feel good about being here. 

"That's alright, no need to apologize. I'm kind of just glad we're not all.. stiff, you know? I was worried it'd take a while for me to get comfortable here." I say, and they all smile softly. "Thanks. For being so nice to me, I mean."

"Well, you're scary beyond all reason. Probably good to have you on our side." George says, chuckling, and I look away, trying to hide laughter, wishing I could be annoyed.

"You're both idiots." Ron mutters. 

"Excuse me, you must be Maxine Davis?" I turn, surprised, my eyes meeting an older boys. He seems to be the twins' age, maybe even a little older, with fluffy brown hair and kind hazel eyes, his lips in a slight smile. He's quite attractive, with strong build and entrancing smile. 

"It's Max. Just Max, but.. yeah. That's me. Who are you?" I ask. 

"I'm Cedric Diggory. Professor Sprout asked me to show you to the Hufflepuff common room, and dinner's ending any second now." As he says this, the food begins to vanish, the dishes disappearing along with it. I glance back at him, smirking a little. 

"Alright then. Let's go." I breathe, getting to my feet, seeing him stand just an inch taller than me. His face falls a little, eyes wide.

"You're pretty tall." He says, clearly surprised, and I grin, shaking my head. 

"Oh, no. My platforms are three inches, I'm not actually 5'10"." 

"Wow. Okay, come on then." Cedric says, a little bit of an intimidated look on his face, and George breaks into a fit of laughter. 

"Hey, what'd I tell you, Ilvermorny? You're bloody scary." He cackles, and I try not to smile, pressing my mouth into a line, a lot of the students getting up and making their way out of the Great Hall. I follow after Cedric, leaving the Hall and feeling everyone's eyes on me once more. 

"Just follow me." I hear him call, and follow a couple feet behind, glancing around and taking in the shockingly beautiful castle. Faint, translucent teal outlines of people walk around, the ghosts conversing with a few of the students, then floating away. 

I get lost in the scenery, the courtyard full of huge trees and pathways surrounded by vivid, mossy grass, the stars in the sky lighting up every inch of space to a deep indigo shade I've never seen. 

But I drag myself out of my daze, struggling to keep up with Cedric's annoyingly fast pace.

"Boots?" I hear Draco ask quietly, and I slow to a stop, tears filling my eyes as I bite my lip, hard. I always hated that fucking nickname. That hasn't changed.

But I glance back at him, his icy blue eyes searching mine for a second, full of a strange, hazy confusion. He looks older. I wouldn't expect any different, but he got significantly taller and a bit more muscular. His hair is still an icy blonde, but less prissy. It's not slicked back anymore, instead, shaggy and slightly curled, hanging gently into his breathtaking ocean blue eyes. I hesitate for a second, trying to think of something to say or do, but coming up with nothing.

I have nothing to say to him.

"Hey Max, you coming?" Cedric asks, and I wait for a second, struggling to speak, before I finally nod. 

"Yeah. I'm coming." I whisper, quickly turning back around, crossing my arms and stalking beside Cedric, weaving through the dense, buzzing crowd of students.

I knew he was going to be here. I knew he went to this school, and I knew he'd recognize me. He's the main reason I didn't want to come here. 


	6. Chapter 5

FIVE YEARS AGO

I trot through our new neighborhood, stopping at a small path through tall, soft grass. I walk down the trail for a while, until I stop, seeing a small huddle of birch trees in the clearing. Below the biggest one, in the shade sits a boy, a little older than me, a tiny little daisy bud in between his fingers. He's dressed oddly nice, in a white button up and black pants, his black leather shoes shining in the spotty sunlight.

I watch the boy extend a hand, the tiny flower in his palm lifting into the air and blooming slowly, rotating slowly. My jaw drops.

"How did you do that?" I murmur, and he spins around. His crystal blue eyes pierce mine, his icy blonde hair slicked back, and the daisy drops to the ground.

"I.. I didn't.. I wasn't-" he stutters.

"It's okay. I'm not going to tell anybody." I say, walking over. He looks a little confused, and I meet his gaze. "Can I sit?" He nods a little, quiet, and I sit beside him.

"You.. You can't tell a soul." He whispers.

"Wasn't planning on it." I murmur, and he glances at the ground. "Are you okay?"

"Muggles aren't supposed to see magic." He says softly. I don't know what that means, but he's upset. I don't want him to be upset, I'm the one that said something.

"I.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's not your fault, it.. it's mine." He seems strangely disappointed in himself.

"I'm Max Davis." I say, extending a hand, and he stares at it for a second, not really answering, almost confused. "I.. uh.. okay." I pull my hand away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. see it." I start to get up.

"Wait." He says, and I stop, meeting his gaze "Don't.. don't go. I'm Draco. Draco Malfoy." I nod, smiling a little.

"Cool name." I say, and a slight smile touches his lips.

"Thanks. You're.. not from around here."

"Oh, no."

"Where are you from?"

"My dad got a job here for two years, and we just got here. We'll be moving back to California after that."

"California?" Draco asks, surprised, and I smile, nodding.

"It's not as great as it sounds. I actually really like it here."

"That's good." He says, and I nod.

"I'm gonna assume you're from around here." I say, and he nods.

"Yeah. I was born here." Draco says, and I glance at the ground.

"Am.. am I allowed to ask? About.. magic, or no, because if not, that's fine, I-"

"No, it's okay. You just.. You really can't tell anybody."

"I just moved here from another country. I don't have anybody to tell." I grin, and he smirks a little.

"Okay, okay."

"What's a.. a m.. mug.. A-"

"Muggle?" He asks, and I nod. "Most of the population that.. can't use magic."

"So.. I'm one, right?" I ask, and he nods.

"Yeah."

"And... What are you?"

"Wizard."

"Wow. Okay." I stare out at the field of flowers, struggling to comprehend the information I've received.

"You alright?"

"Fine, just.. overwhelmed. There's a lot I don't know. About... Everything. Isn't there?"

"Yeah." He answers. "Kind of."

"Are there a lot? Of.. wizards, I mean?"

"Kind of, but.. Not.. really, I mean. There are a few schools over the globe, but that's it."

"Okay, well.. Cool. So I'm like.. The majority of people. Not the slim magic-less few?"

"Yeah." He smiles.

"Great. Cool that you've got magic though."

"I know, right?" Draco grins, the tiny flower blooming once more, and he gently sets it in my hand. 

"So.. You grew up with this stuff, right?" I finally get myself to ask, and he nods. "So.. did you have to do chores and all that, or.. Was magic just like.. Everywhere?"

"Everywhere, but.. We.. also have servants."

"Yeah, you're rich, huh?"

"Well.. I.. not-"

"It's fine, I can tell. You're dressed too nice for our age." I snicker, and he gives me a look. "I'm not saying it's bad, you look nice. Just.. really.. Nice. it's odd."

"Thank you." Draco mumbles dryly.

"Anytime." I smile. He manages a slight smile back, looking at the ground. "I've never had a magic friend before."

"Yeah, I.. I've never had a muggle friend before. Well, I've never met a muggle.. At all." He says, looking a little surprised at himself. My eyes widen.

"No way, I'm the first one?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. I'm honored, that's wild."

"It's.. really not that special-"

"Shut up, you have magic, just let me have this." I say, shoving his shoulder lightly. He snickers.

"Whatever."

"Wait, oh my god, servants? Wow. Okay, what's that like?"

"Of all of the questions about magic you could ask, that's the question you go for? The one thing muggles have too?"

"Yeah. I have to do stuff myself, it's an honest question."

"I don't know. It's fine. Kind of just.. Normal for me."

"Weird."

"You know, you blow my mind, muggle."

"How?"

"You said that's weird. Of everything I've told you, having servants be normal is weird?"

"I mean, yeah. I can totally get magic existing, people barely pay attention to the world around them anyways. I just have parents who would never have servants. They'd never let that slide."

"Yeah, well, my father.. He's.. he's very powerful. In our world."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah." Draco stops, and smirks. "Your boots are huge."

"They're not huge, they're just one inch platforms. They make me taller." I grin, and he snickers.

"And yet you're definitely still shorter than me, Boots."

"Did you seriously just call me Boots?" I ask, and he keeps laughing, a cocky look in his eye. 

"Yes. I think it's a lovely nickname."

"Oh, shut up, Bleach Boy."

"That's so much worse!" He protests, and I laugh. "Also, rude. You can take off your boots, I like my hair like this, you know."

"I didn't say it looked bad. It's just bleached, it's literally a fact. Come on, it's not that awful."

"No, it really is the worst nickname."

"Relax, Bleach Boy."

"Shut up, Boots." He retorts, and I grin. 

"I actually think I don't mind your company." 

"Wow, high praise." Draco answers, and I nod. 

"I know. I don't like a lot of people, but who knows. Maybe you put a spell on me or something."

"I wouldn't do that to you, Max." He says, a hint more sincerity in his voice, and I glance over. I notice an actual shred of unease in his eyes, as if he's nervous I'd think he'd do that. I grow a little concerned at the pure worry on his face, but try to play it off. I shouldn't joke about things like that anymore.

"I know." I say, offering a smile, trying to bring the conversation back up. "I'm just messing with you, Bleach Boy." Relief spreads across his tense features, and I break into a grin. "Your spells would never work on me anyways."

"Yeah? Why's that?" He says, starting to smile again, and I laugh lightly.

"It just wouldn't work. I'm.. too strong, or.. something." 

"That's really not how that works-" He starts, and I hit his arm playfully.

"Shut up." I say, cutting him off, and he smiles.

"Okay, okay. I'll play along." Draco sighs, and I raise an eyebrow, expecting a little more from him. He snickers. "You would clearly be too powerful, even as someone without magic, to have my spells work."

"I know, thank you for finally admitting it." I beam, and he glances up, eyes meeting mine for a second. 

"You know, I think I actually don't mind your company either." He murmurs, and I smile. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Probably helps that I'm like, super cool." I boast, and he slaps my arm. 

"Oh shut up, Boots." 


	7. Chapter 6

CURRENT DAY

THE NEXT MORNING

I open my eyes, struggling to fight off my exhaustion. Changing time zones so easily has it's pros, but this is definitely a major con.

Stumbling to my feet, I glance around at the barren walls of my dorm, all that I can see is the messy bed, empty oak desk and open vacant closet. God, I really need to decorate, this place looks sad. 

But I manage to get the bathroom door open, staring at myself in the huge mirror.

My hair is spun out around my head in a magnificent, knotty halo, my eyes red and puffy and a dried line of drool from the corner of my chapped lips. Tying back my hair, I hastily rinse off my face and drag my fingers through my hair, trying to make it look just a little presentable. 

Packing dark shadow on my eye lids, I try to smudge it artfully, only resulting in a mess. Too lazy to fix it, I finish the look with mascara, dark lipstick, and a bit of blush. 

As far as an outfit goes, I throw on some ripped black skinny jeans and a lacy bralette, covered by an oversized zip up hoodie. Zipping up my platforms, I step out into the common room. 

It's a smaller room, with tons of sofas and pillows in a crescent moon shape, all warm, autumn tones. A large TV hangs on the wall in front of all of them, but the chairs are more facing one another, a few students sitting and chatting or working on homework together.

The ceiling is one huge window, looking out at the clouds, ivy clinging to the edges and dripping down the walls, covering almost every brick completely. Not to mention the tons of plants shoves in the corners of the rooms, and the flower petals that seems to be scattered across the floor.

It's quite beautiful, and super cozy, with warm, pure energy. I really was not paying any attention last night.

Neville approaches me with a sweet smile, still looking a little on edge. He has a nervous, quiet demeanor, though, so I wonder if he's just like this often. Maybe he's just a little anxious, but no matter. He's quite kind, I'd like to get to know him a little better.

"Hey Max. Luna told me to tell you that if you'd like to, you can meet them and Ginny in the Dining Hall. They're up for giving you a tour of the place."

"Oh, cool. Thanks for telling me."

"No problem." He answers, about to walk off. 

"But.. uh.. Neville?"

"Yeah?" He says, meeting my gaze, a small wave of hair falling into his eyes as he chews on his lip quietly. 

"I have no idea how to get there." I say, smiling sheepishly. "Could you walk with me?" He smiles softly, nodding. 

"Of course. I was headed to the greenhouse, I need to water some plants Professor Sprout. Is it alright if we stop there first?"

"Yeah, sure." I answer, following him out of the common room and walking by his side. I get nervous walking around every corner. I don't want to see Draco again, the thought of it makes me unbelievably nauseous. Forcing down the sickness brewing in my stomach, I turn to Neville, who's walking almost soundlessly, his shoulders hunched down and his arms straight at his sides. "Is Herbology your favorite subject, then? If Sprout asked you to take care of the plants?"

"Yes. I'd like to teach Herbology here after I graduate." He says, a bright look in his eyes. I can almost see the spark that goes off when I bring it up. "I love plants, I think they're fascinating." Neville's rather cute. Though he is quiet, I think he'd talk a lot if you got him into a conversation about something he's interested in. 

"I grew up around.. non-magical plants. My parents are muggles, so we always had a ton around the house, you know? But I swear, I just cannot keep them alive. So, when I went to Ilvermorny and saw all the crazy magical plants, I just did not even want to try." I say, smirking, and he grins. 

"Well, plants are the one thing I really do understand. I can help you out this year."

"Really? That'd be great."

"Sure." He leads me outside. We walk through the chilly fog, the air biting at my cheeks as we walk into a warmer green house. The glass shines softly, even though the sun's covered by a layer of lighter clouds. Huge plants with fuzzy stems and large, umbrella shaped flowers reach towards the sky, the light coming through their petals shining bright pink and purple.

"Wow, they're beautiful." I breathe, and he nods. 

"I know, right? I love it here." Neville starts to carefully water the plants, and I sit on the edge of one of the planters, staring at my shoes and clicking the thick soles together. The wet ground smells of a slight rain, matched with the overpowering scent of the flowers. It's oddly nice, I wouldn't mind just staying here. "Can I ask you something?" Neville murmurs, breaking the fragile silence.

"Knock yourself out."

"What.. What's wrong, Max?" He asks, and I stop, a little confused, glancing over at him.

"What do you mean? I'm alright, Neville."

"Well, last night at dinner, you seemed really.. nervous. And that's coming from me, but.. but I mean more.. shut off. Not cold, necessarily, just worried. That went away when we got back into the common room, and it came back when we were walking through the halls. Something's wrong."

"You're a lot more observant than you let on, huh?" I say, and he nods, hiding a smile.

"Guess you could say that. But.. what's up? Did somebody upset you?"

"I lived in England a long time ago. There's just someone here I don't necessarily want to see, which is.. a nicer way of putting it." I mumble, and Neville sets down the water, sitting beside me. 

"They our age?"

"No. He's a year older."

"Then you won't have any classes with him. We don't mix years for classes here, so... you just have to choose to not sit with him at meal times and not speak to him during time in your dorm or with friends." He says, and I nod, starting to feel a little bit better. I won't see him too much anyways, it's not like we're close. He's not even my age. It shouldn't be too hard to stay away from him, it's not like he wants to talk to me anyways.

"That.. that actually makes me feel a lot better. Thank you, Neville."

"Anytime. Let me know if you need to talk, but in the meantime, I can take you to the Great Hall." He says, getting to his feet, and I nod. "Come on." I trot after him out of the green houses, walking down the hall. 

"How did you even get used to this place? I feel like it just keeps getting bigger." I sigh, and he chuckles. 

"I got lost at least a hundred times first year."

"So I'm just going to get lost the one year I'm here?" I ask dryly, and he nods, beaming. "That's perfect."

"Hey, we're in the same year and the same house. We can stick together, I can take you to our classes."

"Thank you for being so nice to me. I know I'm probably the weird American girl."

"Who told you that?" He asks, looking a little shocked.

"Nobody had to tell me. It's.. a feeling, I guess." I breathe.

"Well it's not true. Everyone loves you, or at least everyone you met last night does." He says, and I meet his gaze. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, definitely. I think you'll fit in great here." Neville mumbles, and I nod again. "Here we are." He stops outside the open Great Hall doors, and I glance back at him. 

"Thank you. For.. everything, I guess."

"Anytime, Max." He saunters off, and I walk over to the same table as last night, seeing Ginny and Luna both reading a copy of The Daily Prophet together. I sit across from them, pouring myself a cup of coffee. 

"Did you sleep well?" Luna murmurs, and I shrug. 

"The time difference is a little rough, but I could be a lot worse. How about you?"

"I dreamt of living in a lovely cottage with Ginny. It was quite beautiful, actually."

"You know, if you want, you can take your coffee and we can show you around now." Ginny says, offering a smile, and I nod. 

"I'm honestly just going to leave it, I'm just gonna try and muscle through the day." I snicker, and she grins. Luna walks to my side slowly, and glances into my eyes. 

"I made you something, actually."

"You didn't have to make me anything." I say softly, surprised. She gently takes my left hand, tying on an intricate woven black and yellow bracelet. I notice a small rose gold band on her arm that reads "THEY/THEM" in bold stamped letters. They're nonbinary. Got it. "This is amazing. Thank you, Luna, I.. I don't have anything-"

"I don't want anything in return. It's a gift." They hesitate for a second glancing at their hands. "Is it alright if I head out to the forest? I haven't seen any of the animals here yet this year. I promised I'd come in the first month."

"Of course, love." Ginny kisses their cheek quickly, and Luna skips off. "Luna likes to be outside a lot of the time. But they like you."

"I'm glad. They seem really great. Alright, where does this tour start?"

"This way." Ginny says, and I stalk by her side outside of the Great Hall. 

Hearing loud footsteps, I turn to my left, seeing a crowd of Slytherins, all flushed red, with green robes and broomsticks in hand. Must be coming back from an early morning Quidditch Practice, but that's not what catches my eye. 

Fred cackles and George snorts, shoving Draco to the side, all three of them laughing. Draco shoves George right back, the three of them brawling a little. 

Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. 

Of course they're friends. 

Draco might be harder to avoid then I thought.


	8. Chapter 7

"They're always so obnoxious, Christ." Ginny mutters. I nod a little, almost unable to form a response, pulling my eyes away from Draco. 

Why did I have to get into that fucking fight? Why did I have to break Andrew's face in? Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut and looked away? 

But I know the answer to that question, because I know myself. There was no reality in which I wouldn't have beaten the shit out Andrew. I've lost enough of my dignity, I had to gain just a few shreds back. 

Plus, who am I kidding? 

It was fun.

"Hey, what are you two up to?" Fred calls, and I glance up at him, trying to ignore Draco's presence. 

"Ginny's giving me the tour of this hellish maze you call a school." I say, and he looks at me, mock disappointment shining in his eyes. 

"Maxine, you said you'd let us be your escorts." He whines, and I look at George, biting back laughter, before I glance back to Fred, raising an eyebrow. 

"First of all, it's Max. Don't call me Maxine again. Second of all, no, I didn't. You said you wanted to be my escorts, I never said you actually could."

"Wow, that's rude." He says, a cocky grin pulling at the corners of his lips. I shrug a little, hiding laughter. 

"it's funny, it's almost like.. I don't care." I smirk, and he laughs. 

"You're bloody scary, Max. I like it." He says, winking a little too dramatically, and I sigh. "We should really hang out sometime."

"Nice try, Weasley, but unless you wanna end up like my good friend Andrew, you'll stop asking now." 

"Remind me again who Andrew is?"

"The guy who's still unconscious in a hospital bed." I say, flashing a flirty smile and batting my eyelashes, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Fred snickers, and nods a little. 

"Got it, got it. But I'm not going to give up on you."

"Of course you won't, why would you?" I sigh. I glance over at the others, my eyes meeting Draco's.

He stares back at me for a little bit, his smile fading. His hair drips slowly, hanging in tiny wet strands, frizzy and strayed in every direction. Offset by the vibrant green of his uniform are his flushed cheeks and nose, his slight freckles only more noticeable with the color. 

I can still see little hints of the kid he used to be, with the slight smirk and playful look in his eyes, not to mention the strangely good posture and and anxious fidgets in his hands. 

I wish I could forget all of those things. 

I wish I could erase the memories I have of his perfect posture, and that same, cocky look he always gave me. 

I wish I could stop missing that cute, lopsided smile he gave me when he snuck in my room, the way he tapped his fingers when he was nervous, and the sound of his laugh I was always lucky enough to hear at our spot under the birch trees. 

I rip my gaze away, looking at the ground, forcing down the tears that start to burn my eyes. 

I can keep wishing all of these things, but that doesn't mean any of them are ever going to come true. 

"So, Ilvermorny, what do you say? We'll just tag along." Fred says, a tiny smile creeping onto his lips, and I manage a smile back. 

"It's up to Ginny, she's the guide." I say, glancing at her, and she snorts. 

"Oh hell no you two hellions cannot come. But.. fuck, I left the map I was going to give you in my dorm. Damn it." She breathes. "I'll be right back, alright?" I nod a little. 

"Yeah, no problem, I can wait." I answer, and she takes off down the hall. Fred ruffles up my hair, and I give him a shove in response. "Dude, gross! You are covered in sweat." I exclaim, laughing, and he grins, pulling me into a tight hug, burying his damp face in my neck. "Fred, stop!" I push him off, and he cackles, trotting into the Great Hall. 

George grins, ruffling my hair as well. 

"We'll talk later." He says, wiggling his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes, smiling. He walks into the Great Hall, Draco close by his side. I keep Draco's gaze for a second, but he eventually looks away, following George and the other Slytherin team members to a table and sitting down. 

I pull out my phone, waiting for Ginny to get back, and see the texts I got from Quinn last night after I passed out: 

11:08 P.M. hope you got to hogwarts safe! jane's still crying, but no worries, I can do the whole supportive friend thing!!

11:23 P.M. omfg I was so wrong oh god I CANNOT do this whole supportive friend thing, dude how tf do I get her to stop crying??! I tried putting on a disney movie and everything, oh my god-

11:48 P.M. she stopped crying, i did it! yes, thank you, thank you, ik im fucking amazing. but seriously, i have no idea how you do this all of the time?! wtf dude

12:29 A.M. just now realized you are definitely not awake, my b lmfaoo so when u see this when u wake up, we're good okay? no need to worry. can't wait to call u later <3 ly

12:31 P.M. jane says night too, her phones dead lol love ya max

I smile a little, suddenly swept away by a wave of sadness. I miss Quinn and Jane so much, and it's only been twelve hours. I have no idea how I'm going to do this without them. 

But I pull up the keyboard, trying my best not to cry as I shoot back a quick response:

8:46 A.M. hey q:) im good, got to hogwarts fine. tell jane im alright, i just miss u guys, so text me when ur up so i can call. lyt <3

"Hey. You okay?" Ginny asks, and I look up, pulled out my haze. 

"I'm good, just.. miss my friends a lot more than I thought I would." I mumble. "But I'll be alright. Let's start this tour of yours, shall we?" 

"Let's do it."

THREE HOURS LATER

"I really don't understand how this school is this large." I sigh, my feet starting to throb with every step I take, and Ginny grins. 

"Well, we did go through the courtyards and stuff too."

"It's still ridiculous!" I exclaim. "There shouldn't be so many corridors, not to mention the moving fucking stairs? Who the hell thought that was a good idea, it's so stupid!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure everyone will help you get to your classes." She says, offering a bit of a smile, and I nod, rubbing my face with my hands, fighting off a headache. 

"Yeah, yeah."

"Wanna head to lunch?" She asks, and I glance at my phone, seeing a couple new messages from Jane. 

"I actually think my friends just woke up back in Massachusetts. I'm going to go up to my dorm and give them a call and make sure they're doing okay. I'll meet you in the Great Hall, alright?" I ask, and she nods, her hair shining auburn in the hot sun. 

"Totally, I'll let Luna know you're on your way so they'll save a seat for you too."

"Don't worry about that honey, I don't know how long I'll be, okay?" I say, and she hesitates, before nodding. 

"You.. you sure you're okay, Max?" She asks, and I force a smile. 

"Definitely. See you in a bit." I start down the hall, towards the Hufflepuff common room, focusing on every breath I take. 

Breathe in, 1, 2. 

Hold for 1, 2. 

Breathe out, 1, 2.

Hold for 1, 2.

Repeat. 

I can do this. It's just a new school, I can apparate and go see Quinn and Jane whenever I need to, it's not that big of a deal. I can do it, I can. I'm strong, I'm tough. 

I knocked Andrew Hearn unconscious, I can deal with a new school. 

"Hey Max." Someone murmurs, and I glance up, meeting his gaze and stopping in my tracks. 

"Oh, so now you want to talk?" I hiss, tears filling my eyes, and Draco falls quiet. "You made it clear you want nothing to do with me, so just fuck off, alright?"

"Please, I-"

"I don't want to hear it." I mutter. He cleaned up after practice, dressed in a black top, slacks, and blazer, with a few chains on his belt loops and rings on almost every finger. His hair is still a little messy, but artfully so, appearing soft and neat. 

"Max-" He starts. 

"Fine, then I'll rephrase. Does anybody even know?" I breathe, biting my lip. "Does anyone at this stupid school even know you knew someone named Max, Draco? Did you tell anybody about what happened?" He doesn't answer, eyes falling to the floor, and I nod. I suck in my breath, calming myself down before I let any tears fall. "Yeah, of course not. God fucking forbid, right?" He looks like he's about to say something, his eyes locked on mine, his light brows knit close together with stress and his nose scrunched just slightly. "So just stick to what you're good at and keep fucking ignoring me. I don't need this." I shove past him, breaking into tears and storming into the Hufflepuff common room. 

I shut my door and sit on the edge of my bed, resting my face in my hands and taking in a few shaky breaths, anger bubbling in my chest, about to boil over. 

He hurt me. He's the reason we're not talking, not me, he's the one that wanted it to be this way. Why the fuck is he trying to talk to me now? It's been three years, I don't need him. I'm fine. 

I'm better off without someone like him anyways.


	9. Chapter 8

My phone starts to buzz, the first few notes plucking out on the guitar and floating through the air, until I slowly take the device and pick up, holding the cold screen to my ear.

"Hello?" I exhale.

"Hey bitch!" Quinn calls, and I manage a little bit of a smile, her voice immediately improving my mood. "What's up, how are you doing with all the wackass British people?"

"Yeah, how are you Max? Is it okay there, is everything alright?" Jane asks quietly.

"Yeah, I.. I'm good."

"No you're not. What's wrong?" Quinn asks, a sincere tone taking over her voice. Part of me doesn't want to tell them, I want to spare them from all of it and keep it to myself. But the other part of me can't keep any of it in. 

"It's been twelve hours, I've run into Draco twice, I can't seem to find my way through this fucking school, and I miss you guys so much." I breathe, my voice breaking as a few hot tears slip down my cheeks. I wipe them away quickly with my sleeve, my throat aching slightly with every shallow breath I take. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you guys."

"You're going to be okay, Max. You're... You're... well, you're Max, you're a badass." Jane stutters, and I laugh through the tears.

"Thanks Jane."

"I know we're far, but you know you can call us whenever, right?" Quinn says. "Don't be a loser and shut us out, Max. We'll make this time difference our bitch." I snicker, wiping off my face and pulling myself together. 

"Damn straight. Now go get breakfast, it starts soon for you guys."

"You sure you don't need anything?" Jane asks, and I nod a little to myself. I'm alright, I'll be okay. No need to worry the two of them.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just talking to you guys for five seconds helps. I'll probably get back this weekend or the next, alright? I'll talk to my head of house."

"Okay, keep us updated. We love you." Quinn calls.

"Love you too. Bye." I hang up, and there's a quiet knock on my door as I set my phone down on the comforter. "Come on in!" Cedric steps inside, walking over and sitting next to me without a word. "I.. uh.. Hey. What are you doing in here?"

"Ginny was a little worried about you, so I brought you a sandwich and butterbeer and thought we could eat in here while I help you decorate this dorm. It is a bit empty, you know." He says, the sunlight from the window turning his brown eyes into pools of liquid gold. Part of me wishes I could be past everything with Andrew and find him attractive. He genuinely seems like a good guy, I just can't get my mind off the people that've hurt me. 

Why am I so fucking bad at just moving on?

But I manage a smirk, and nod a bit, tying the top half of my hair into a ponytail to keep it from falling into my face.

"Yeah, it's.. pretty pathetic."

"Well, I'm assuming you brought some stuff, right?" Cedric asks. I shrug.

"Brought the stuff I decorated with at Ilvermorny. Hopefully that's enough."

"Definitely. Now come on, we can eat later, I'll help you break open these bags." He puts the small box of our food on my desk and unzips all my bags, tossing them onto my bed where we was sitting. "Okay, so here's a bag of all of your clothes and shoes. Which.. is.. literally all black. That.. that's not weird at all." He sets out the stacks, and I grin.

"It's just my color, Diggory."

"And why do you need three other pairs of platform boots?" Cedric asks, eyes wide as he pulls out all of my other Demonias.

"They're different heights, it depends on my mood." I breathe, and he rolls his eyes.

"Okay, finally, here are the decorations." He opens the bag with the record covers and posters. "I'll get to putting this stuff up on the walls. You okay with chaotic decorating?" He asks, raising an eyebrow and smirking, and I nod, giggling. 

"Sure."

"Get to putting your clothes away, Max." He says, waving his wand. The posters and covers float over to the wall, organizing themselves how he sees fit and sticking down.

I hang up all of my tops in the closet, sorting them by sleeve length, thickness, and design. Setting my pants and skirts on the side drawers, making sure everything is nice and neat, I tuck my underwear and socks on the top drawer, closing everything up and shutting the closet completely. Luckily, it doesn't take that long.

"Alright, what do you think?" I turn and stare at the wall, my jaw dropping to the floor. Diggory managed to cover the wall in a perfect blend of the record covers and band posters, barely any plain paint showing through. The decor truly is chaotic, but in a perfect way. "Damn, that bad?" He mutters, and I grin, shaking my head. 

"No, you aced it. Thank you, oh my god, it looks great." I say, and he smirks. 

"What's in this one?" He opens the last duffel, and I look over all the posters, already starting to feel more comfortable in this room. 

"I think its my fairy lights and the stuff I put on my desk and nightstand at Ilvermorny." I answer, and he doesn't say a word. I glance over, and grow a little concerned. 

Cedric's eyes are trained on something in his hands, his face somewhat expressionless and his hair falling into his eyes. But after a quick few seconds, he turns to look at me, holding up the photo, blushing lightly. 

"Hey, uh... Max, who's this?" He asks. I recognize it almost instantly, and smile. 

It's a small moving photo of Quinn tackling me in a hug, the two of us laughing so hard we could barely breathe. Her hair was freshly cut just below her chin, soft blonde streaks framing her face in big movie star curls. Both of us were in our classic Ilvermorny outfits, with a grey button up top, black skirt, and blood red outer robes. Pretty sure we were both high when Jane took that photo, but I choose not to tell Cedric that fact.

"Oh. That's my best friend, Quinn, she's back at Ilvermorny."

"Damn. She.. she's gorgeous." He stutters, and I nod.

"No kidding, right? She's kind of a goddess, we've been close since First Year." I say, and Diggory still doesn't reply. I stare at him, surprised at how absolutely star struck he appears. "Starting to freak me out a little, Ced. Should I go get help?"

"I'm fine. I just don't think I've ever seen anyone so beautiful." 

"Okay, Romeo, calm down. Damn. You've never met her, but I'm sure I could introduce you if she ever comes to visit in the future."

"Really?" He says, an echo of a smile on his face, and I snicker. 

"Yeah, sure. Anytime, pretty boy. Now come on, let's eat, alright? I can put up the lights and the photos later, I'm fucking starving."

LATER THAT NIGHT

I sit on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, millions of thoughts swarming around my head.

I miss Quinn. 

What the hell do I do about Draco?

Maybe I should've asked Ginny which professors are assholes.

How am I supposed to last an entire year here?

What do I do if I see Draco again, should I just ignore him?

I miss Jane.

Why is it my life is always chaotically fucked up?

I shouldn't have knocked Andrew unconscious. I could've just slapped him or something.

It was way overkill, even for me.

I should call Jane and make sure she's okay.

Does Draco miss me?

Does he wish I would just go back to Ilvermorny?

Quinn would know what to do. Or she'd just yell at him to leave me alone. Either way, I really wish I had her right now. 

My thoughts are interrupted by a quick rap on the door. I get out of bed, unlocking the door knob and glancing out into the dark common room. 

George smiles, a bright look in his eyes, holding up a bag. 

"Come on, it's only 9:30. I brought some house warming gifts." He says quietly, and I smile a little, swinging the door open. 

"Where's your brother?" I ask.

"Which one?" He flashes a grin, and I roll my eyes, smiling. 

"Fred."

"Out executing our prank on Snape. He's the Potions teacher here, you'll most likely hate him pretty quickly here." George says, sitting on the floor and leaning up against my desk. I sit across from him, propped against the side of my bed. 

"Let me know when you have another big prank. Maybe I'll want to help." 

"Yeah?" He asks, breaking into a smile, and I nod. 

"Totally. What'd you do this time?"

"Put hexed neon purple dye in his shampoo. Hair's always greasy, thought we'd wanna see how long it takes for it to show up." He says, and I snicker. "It was Malfoy's idea, but he's too much of a priss to actually help out in the pranks he comes up with." I stop for a second, looking away and taking a shaky breath. It's fine. He's friends with the twins, I get it. It's not a big deal. I can handle it. "I.. just realized you have no idea who that is, you probably saw him earlier. He's the seeker for our team, Fred and I are beaters. He's about our height, with bleached blonde hair?" I'd be lying if I said I didn't remember he wanted to be seeker on the Slytherin team. Never shut up about it, actually. Guess he got what he wanted, then.

"Yeah, I think I saw him." I reply quietly. I shouldn't be upset Draco never talked about me when we were kids. But that doesn't mean I love that I was his dirty fucking secret, either. 

"He's the best damn seeker this school's ever seen, really. Not to mention he's bloody brilliant, especially when it comes to planning pranks, but I guess he just likes to stick back and watch." George says, smirking a little, and I force a smile back. "Anyways." He tosses me the bag, and I open it, seeing a bundle of muggle candy and drinks. I look up at him, my mood already lifting. 

"Dude, how did you get these?! We were never able to sneak them into Ilvermorny!"

"We smuggle a ton in every few weeks, and you seem like the type to enjoy it. Seemed like a good welcome gift."

"Hell yeah, thank you so much." 

"Anytime. Fred and I've basically got a whole business going on, but.. enough about me, yeah? Feel like you've been here a day and I know absolutely nothing about you." 

"I don't know much about you either, you know."

"That's fair, but you're the new girl, come on." He looks arounds, and smiles. "All I've got so far is that your music taste is pretty good, so we'll start there. Favorite artist?"

"Yungblud. I don't really listen to a lot of music by witches and wizards."

"He's from Doncaster, right?"

"Yeah, actually."

"Where are you from?"

"Everywhere around California, but I lived in San Francisco for a while and that was my favorite, so I usually just say San Francisco. How about you?"

"Outside Devon. Been in that house my whole life."

"I'd say I know where that is but I've genuinely no clue." I say, and he snickers. 

"No, you're fine. Someday we can sneak out and show you around England. There's a lot more to here than just Hogwarts. But do you miss Ilvermorny a ton?"

"I.. uh.. I don't. And I know that sounds awful, but I'll explain, I.. I miss my friends, you know? I miss Quinn and Jane, and that's it. I don't miss the rest of it, the school's full of a lot of people that I don't like to see."

"I'm assuming the guy you beat the hell out of is one of those people?" He says, and I smirk. 

"Yeah, he.. I didn't always think he was a bad guy, but.. he deserved what he got."

"I know we just met, but.. can I ask, do you regret it?" George asks softly, and I hesitate, before shaking my head just a little. 

"No. I let people kick me around when I was younger, and I could handle it, but my friends are another story."

"So that's what he did, then. Bothered your friends, I mean."

"Yeah. It's like I said, I.. I don't let that shit slide. Quinn and Jane are like my second family."

"Hey, don't worry, I'm not judging. I get it. If anyone said anything about my siblings or friends here, I don't doubt I'd lose it too." He says, and I can't help but laugh. "Hey, what are you laughing at?"

"George, you and all of your friends are tall and intimidating. I don't think anybody will mess with any of you anytime soon." I smile, and he nods, a slight grin on his face. 

"Yeah, plus, everybody's terrified of Malfoy anyways."

"What?" I murmur, a little surprised. Even as kids, he was never anything but kind, he was the sweetest person I'd ever known. I don't know why anyone would ever be afraid. It's Draco. Sure, he hurt me plenty, but I would never be scared of him. "Why?"

"Well, everyone adored him First Year. But, something happened Second Year. He kind of lost it third week in, beat the shit out of some random kid. He shut himself off for a really long time. Wouldn't talk to anyone and even avoided Fred. Two of them have been close forever, but he was just isolated. He's gotten better over time, but wasn't totally the same since. Pretty sure Fred knows what caused it, but he's the only one. We know Draco's not dangerous, but everyone else is still pretty wary." 

Three weeks after Second Year started? Three weeks after summer ended, that... that's when...

Did Draco lose it because of me?


	10. Chapter 9

FOUR MONTHS AGO

ABOUT THE END OF MAY

"Max, come on, we gotta go!" Quinn says, a grin on her face. 

"Hang on, hang on!" I pull out my lighter and set off the long end of the fuse. The second the tiny sparks shoot out in every direction, I turn to Quinn. "Go, go, go!" I whisper, and we take off down the hall. 

"Hey, we need to act normal, alright?" She mutters, and I glance at her, nodding. 

"Yeah, so what've you been up to, other than making sure I don't get caught setting off fireworks?" I breathe, walking up to the swarm of our classmates that waits outside Vane's room. 

A loud burst of crackling and popping sounds comes from down the hall, and Quinn presses her lips tight together to hide a grin. 

Everyone turns to the sound, and Professor Vale storms down the hall, mouth set in a frown, the edges of his robes singed. 

"Dude, did you accidentally light our teacher on fire?!" Quinn chokes out, covering her mouth to hide giggles, and I'm silent, my chest shaking as I force down a fit of laughter.

"Everyone was in class but all of you!" He shouts, and everyone falls deathly silent. "One of you has done this, who was it?!" Nobody says a word, but a few people glance at me. 

Really wishing people didn't just assume it was me, but I guess it's fair, after everything I've done. 

A handful of Professors jog around the corner, staring at all of us in surprise.

"What's going on?!" Zolia asks, eyes wide.

"Someone set off fireworks in my office, Professor." Vane mutters, and then looks directly at me. "I know it was you, Ms. Davis. If you admit to it now, I'll go easy on your punishment."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't do anything." I retort. His face flushes with anger. 

"You've gotten away with too much! You disrupt class daily, Ms. Davis, I have no doubt it was you."

"I'm sorry, why are you speaking to my student like this?" Zolia asks, looking fairly annoyed herself.

"It has to be her!" Professor Vane growls, and I look up at him, annoyed. "She's always the one who's causing trouble around here."

"He's not wrong." Professor Hofferson murmurs, and I sigh. At least I'm not taking Quinn down with me. I can handle whatever the fuck Vane throws at me.

"Professor Zolia, she's done too much here. It had to be her, she doesn't even have an alibi!" Vane says, and everyone turns to look at me, and I raise an eyebrow, about to make whatever snide comment I think of first. 

"Actually, I was with Maxine." I turn, confused, my eyes meeting the owner of the unknown voice I just heard. He's about my height, with scruffy brown hair and deep tan skin, with dark green eyes and a gritty sense of style, leaving most of his clothing a little dirty and torn up. He's super cute, actually. But I have absolutely no idea who he is. 

Why the hell is he covering for me?

"What?" Vane hisses, and the boy smiles a little. 

"She's helping me out in Defense Against the Dark Arts. We were in the library studying earlier, and were walking to class from the East Corridor. I was with her the whole time, not to mention we weren't even on this side of the school. Couldn't have been her." He says, and Professor Caldwell glances at Vane, smirking. 

"Well, then I guess it wasn't Maxine. Unfortunately, I guess we'll never know who did it." She murmurs, and I look back to the boy, who grins at me, shooting me a sly wink. I do my best to hide laughter, looking at Vane, who clenches his jaw. 

"Then that's that." Zolia says, brushing her dark curls behind her ear, and hiding a smile. "Everyone, you can return to your dormitories. Ms. Davis, Mr. Hearn. If I may speak to you alone?" The students file out, and Quinn gives me an apologetic look, returning to Jane's side and trotting off. 

Vane stops in front of me, a cold look in his eyes. 

"I'll catch you someday, Ms. Davis. Don't think I won't." He mutters, and I grin. 

"Catch me doing what, exactly? It's like Caldwell said. It wasn't me, sir." I breathe, and he brushes past me, stalking out of the classroom. I walk to the Zolia, glancing over at the boy, who wears a proud look on his face. 

"Ms. Davis." She says, raising an eyebrow, and I bite back a smile. 

"Yes, Professor?"

"I know we've concluded this wasn't your doing. But don't think Vane won't be harder on you now because of this." She says, and I shrug a little. 

"Hey, it's the last week of school, I'll be fine. He's got all summer to cool off." I say, and the boy snickers. 

"Vane doesn't 'cool off'." He whispers, and I grin. 

"Quiet, both of you." Zolia says, and we fall silent. "And Mr. Hearn.. next time, find a better alibi. The library's closed today for cleaning." His eyes widen, and she hides a smile. "Luckily, Professor Vane doesn't know that. So get out of here, both of you." 

The two of us turn and walk down the hall quietly. 

After we're way out of earshot, I look over at him and raise an eyebrow, keeping the same pace. 

"You're a moron." I say, and he snorts. 

"You're the one that set off fireworks in our Professor's office, how am I the moron?"

"I don't know you, why in hell are you covering for me?" I ask, and he smiles just a little. 

"I'm Andrew. It's Maxine, right?"

"Max. Call me Maxine again, and I'll set off fireworks in your dorm."

"Ooh, scary." He gives me a playful shove, and I smile. 

"How have I never seen you before?"

"I really don't know, we've had every class together for three years."

"Seriously? Every class?"

"Yeah. A little hurt you never noticed me, I'll be honest." Andrew says, and I shrug. 

"I pay attention to my friends and that's it. Nothing personal, I just.. didn't know you existed." I say, laughing, and he nods. 

"Fair. But you're the only reason anything interesting happens at this school. Nobody else has the guts to do what you do, and I just know that if he found out it was you, you'd be expelled in minutes. Your shit has gotten me out of countless quizzes, I can't lose that." 

"Wow. That really is the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me." I say dryly, and he nods. 

"I know. So come on, follow me."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"Will you just trust me, I kind of saved your ass back there."

"So what? I didn't ask you to do that."

"God, you're stubborn." He sighs. "Please, Max. Just come with me." Andrew asks, and I hesitate, before nodding a little. 

"Fine. But I'm calling you Andy, Andrew's too long." 

"Sure." He says, flashing his perfect teeth and leading me down the hall. "So. What led you to set off the fireworks?"

"You kidding? Vane's a dick. I thought it'd be fun, so I did it. It's really not that complicated."

"You don't care what people think of you at all, do you?"

"I used to when I was younger." I murmur, my mind slowly tracing back to Draco. But I shake myself back to reality, glancing back up at him. "Then I kind of just realized that was stupid, so I stopped. Now, I do what I want, when I want, and it's great." 

"Nice little life philosophy you've got there." He says, smiling a little, and I nod. "I think you might just be scared."

"Excuse me?" I say, stopping in my tracks, growing annoyed. 

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't-" He stops for a second. "I'm going to start over, okay?" He asks, and I raise an eyebrow, crossing my arms. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Fuck, just.. okay. I.. I'm not trying to offend you. I just think you're nervous about getting.. hurt, you know? So you act all scary so people leave you alone." 

"Not only did I not ask you save my ass back there, but I also didn't ask you to fucking psychoanalyze me, Andrew." I breathe, starting down the hall. 

He chases after me, and runs over, stopping in my path. 

"Move before I move you, Hearn." I mutter, and he shakes his head. 

"No. I apologize for pissing you off. That was shitty, and I'm sorry. But I still.. want to talk to you."

"Why? I don't get it, why are you being so nice to me?"

"What?" He asks, a little surprised, and I bite my lip. 

"I don't know you. Why'd you stand up for me anyways? We're not close." I breathe. He sucks in his breath, and shrugs. 

"I don't really know. Kinda wanted an excuse to talk to you." He murmurs. I stop, growing confused, looking at him. 

"What? I.. why?"

"Dude, you just set off fireworks in Vane's office. That's super fucking cool." Andy grins, and the blood rushes to my cheeks as I smile a bit. 

"I know, right?" 

"Yeah. Well, I need a cigarette, and you seem like you know good places to sneak out, so...?" He starts, trailing off, and I smirk. 

"Let's go, Hearn." I say, and he drapes an arm around my shoulders.

"We're going to be great friends, you know."

"Move the arm or you lose it." I breathe, and he takes his arm away, nodding. 

"Got it, got it. Won't do it again." 

"Great. Now let's go, idiot." 


	11. Chapter 10

CURRENT DAY

THE NEXT MORNING

I walk down the steps and into the common room, still half asleep after laying restless in bed for so many hours, my shoulder bag digging into my arm from the weight of all my supplies.

"Hey, Max!" Neville calls, and I glance up as he walks over, holding out a small, napkin-wrapped pastry. "Saw you slept in a little, thought I'd grab something so you could eat on the way to class." He says, and I smile just a little. 

"Oh, thank you. I'm starving, this is great."

"Yeah. You look a little tired, is the time difference still bothering you?" He asks, and I shrug. 

"Must be it. I honestly don't remember.. this morning, but.. I got dressed, clearly." It's the new uniform, a black pleated skirt, a white button up and yellow striped tie left undone. But I made it my own with my fishnets and platforms. Don't remember doing that, but I like my own taste. I look great. Now I just have to hope my hair doesn't look like a damn rat's nest. "Could you help me with this stupid tie, I didn't need one Ilvermorny."

"Yeah, no problem." He says, reaching forwards and tying it loosely, making sure not to tie it too tight. "Let's go, we don't wanna be late." I follow after him into the bustling halls, biting into the chocolate croissant, devouring it in a few bites and tossing the napkin in a random trashcan. 

"What do we have first period again?" I ask. 

"Potions with Snape. He's.. not.. pleasant. And that's a nice way of putting it."

"So just shut up and let him talk?" 

"Yeah, you've got it. Just in time, too, here we are." I walk into the dark, almost tomb-like classroom. All of the curtains are shut, blocking out all natural light, just a few lamps spotted throughout the room, offering little to no light. 

"Dude, this is creepy." I breathe, and he smiles, sitting at a two person desk. I sit beside him and pull out my books, watching everyone quickly file in and chatting amongst themselves. 

"Silence." Snape growls, slamming the door shut, and everyone falls quiet, staring at him with mouths zipped tight.

I try not to laugh, though. George wasn't wrong, his black hair looks almost wet with grease, shining too bright in the dim classroom lighting. It's been one day since they put the dye in the shampoo, I guess the countdown starts now. 

It could almost be a gameshow, I can basically hear the intro in my head. 

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of How Outrageously Long Has it Been Since Max's Dick Teacher Has Washed His Hair? We're going strong so far, with a solid two months at least, so place your bets! Will he finally wash his hair tonight, or will we have another day of wishing we were born literally unable to see so we didn't have to see that train wreck? Check back in tomorrow at 8 A.M. to see what happens next!

"Will someone please tell me what potion I told you we were planning on studying today?" He asks, and Hermione raises her hand in the air, a hopeful look on her face. "Nobody knows?" Hermione raises her hand higher, and he glances away, clearly just ignoring her. "Weasley. What's the potion?" Ron looks up quickly with tired eyes, hair smoothed to the side, his shirt somehow still buttoned incorrectly. I don't doubt he was falling asleep on his open potions book beside Harry, who smirks, hiding his own laughter.

"Uh.. I think it was that potion for.. like.. losing memories?" He murmurs, wiping his eyes tiredly, his brows brushed inwards and messy. I repress a smile, sealing my lips into a tight line to hide it.

"Does anyone know the actual name, unlike Weasley?" Snape mutters, and Hermione waves her hand a little more, hair puffy from the moisture in the air, her tie so tight around her throat I can't help but wonder if she can breathe. "Fine. Granger."

"The Forgetfulness potion, sir. It causes memory loss in whoever drinks it."

"Good enough. Today, we'll be studying this potion and it's effects. We'll be brewing it later this week." He says, storming up to the front pedestal. "Now. Who can tell me the potions main three ingredients?" Hermione's hand shoots up once more, and I sigh inwardly. That girl is too awake for eight in the morning. "Thomas?"

"I don't know sir." The Gryffindor boy says, and Snape rolls his eyes, glancing over at Neville.

"Well then, Longbottom, do you know?"

"I.. uh.. well, I-" He stutters.

"So you haven't been paying attention for the last two weeks?"

"No, I.. I have, I-" Neville starts. 

"I won't allow this kind of behavior in my classroom, do you understand me? This is absurd!" He hisses, and I stand up quickly, clenching my fists. Neville looks at me, confused. 

"You know, maybe if you let him finish, he could explain to you what he might need help with." I say coldly, and Snape turns his icy gaze to me.

"Who are you?" He drawls, and I look up, staring into his eyes. 

"Max." I mutter. 

"Max who?"

"Davis."

"Davis, you should know. I don't tolerate disrespect in my classroom."

"But you're alright with disrespecting your students?" I ask, and he stares at me. Harry and Hermione turn to stare at me, shaking their heads slightly, trying to warn me to stop. 

I was already kicked out of one school, I'm alright with being kicked out of two.

"Why are you here, Davis?"

"Because my head of house in America told me that spending a year abroad here was probably better than getting expelled." I say, and he raises an eyebrow. All of the students stare at me with wide eyes, mouths agape. I'm being a tad overdramatic, but what can I say? Life is so much more fun with a little drama.

"What exactly did you do to get sent here?"

"Protected my friend, why do you ask?" I retort, and he sniffs. 

"Just wondering what kind of student I'll have to deal with."

"Certainly not one that's going to let you speak to Neville like that again." I hiss, and he smirks just a little. 

"What exactly will you do, get sent to another school?" He taunts, and I nod. 

"If that's what I get for making sure you don't humiliate Neville again, then yeah. I really don't care where the hell I get sent, Professor Snape. But I don't tolerate disrespect either." I say, and he stares at me for a second, surprised. "So I apologize for speaking out of turn, but Neville knows the answer, right Neville?" I ask, and he nods. 

"Yeah, actually, it.. it's-"

"Quiet, Longbottom." Snape says, and Neville's mouth snaps shut. "Davis, since you can't seem to keep your mouth closed, how about you answer the question?"

"The main three ingredients in a Forgetfulness potion are Lethe River water, mistletoe berries, and Valerian springs." I answer, and he looks surprised once more, before he wipes the look off his face. 

"How much of each ingredient do you need?" He asks, and I smirk. He's going to keep interrogating me until he finds something I don't know. He wants to humiliate me just like he did Neville. Luckily, Potions is one of my strong suits. 

"Two drops Lethe River Water. Four mistletoe berries. Two Valerian springs." I reply, raising an eyebrow, almost challenging him to ask another dumbass question. 

"If you're so cocky, then what's the recipe?" He continues, and I sigh. 

"How long are we going to do this?" I mutter. 

"Excuse me?" He snaps, and I roll my eyes. 

"Jesus Christ, alright. Add the Lethe River water to your cauldron and heat for approximately twenty seconds. Add the Valerian Springs and stir clockwise three times, and wave your wand. Leave the potion for forty five minutes to an hour, depending on where you are and what the humidity and pressure of the room is. When you return, add two measures of mixed ground standard herbs and the mistletoe berries to the mortar. You have to crush it into a medium to fine powder and add two pinches of that powder to your cauldron. Finally, stir five times counterclockwise and wave your wand once more." I sigh, and he's stunned silent. Nobody says a word for a couple seconds, still staring at me in awe. "I was saying, though, how many more questions are you going to ask? I know what I'm talking about, and it's clear you simply want to humiliate me as well. But, obviously, that's not going to work out, so please. What do you want from me, Professor, because I won't apologize for stopping you from harassing my friend." 

"Sit down, Davis. We'll talk after class." He growls, and I slowly sit back in my chair, annoyed. 

I stare at my desk for the next forty-five minutes, politely waiting for class to be over, having taught myself all this information already. 

It manages to pass pretty quickly, considering we're not even doing much, simply listening to Snape drone on about the uses and origins of this stupid potion. Not that is really matters anyways, though, when the hell would I ever use a goddamn forgetfulness potion?

The bell rings shrilly in my ears, jolting me back to reality, and Neville glances at me, a nervous look in his eyes. 

"Good luck with Snape." He murmurs, and I shrug. 

"I'll be alright, don't worry about me." I throw my stuff in my bag and strut over to Snape, expectant. "You wanted to talk to me?" I say, and he nods. 

"I don't know how things worked at Ilvermorny, Davis, but this bratty, stuck-up behavior cannot continue in my classroom."

"All due respect, Professor, but I wasn't being bratty or stuck-up. You were picking on Neville for taking a few seconds to respond to a question he knew the answer to."

"He should have been more prepared, and that doesn't mean it is your place to intervene."

"No, it's exactly my place to intervene, sir." I say, starting to get upset. "Neville's been there for me since I got here. He's shy, but he's crazy smart and so kind, and I won't let you make him feel bad about himself when he's done nothing wrong." I take a deep breath, staring at the ground and bringing myself back to the point I had. I look back up at Snape. "So if you're mad at me for being defensive and protective of my friend, then unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about that because I'm not going to stop. If I get sent to another school, fine, but I'm not just going to sit and act like it's okay because it's not. He's a good guy, he just needed a second to think for the answer." 

"You would be okay getting expelled from a second school for defending someone you've known for just a couple days?" He asks, a strange look on his face, and I nod. 

"Without a doubt, yeah." I say, and Snape doesn't respond for a second, sort of lost in thought. "Why.. uh.. why do you ask, sir?"

"You remind me of an old friend, Davis." He says, the cold edge in his voice fading a little. "You're loyal. A little too loyal, some may argue, but fiercely protective of the people you do care about."

"Am.. am I allowed to ask who it is I remind you of?"

"Lily Potter." He says, and my heart drops to my stomach. Harry Potter's mother. She was the last person to die at the hands of Lord Voldemort. She died protecting Harry. "This isn't an easy course, Davis, and it won't get any easy over the course of the year. I respect your audacity to speak to me like that, but do it again, and you'll have detention for a month." He says, the coldness returning, and I nod. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now get to class." He commands, and I nod once more, quickly walking out of the class and almost running into Neville, Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Ron still appears to be struggling to stay awake, his eyes half shut and drool collecting on his bottom lip. 

"What happened?!" Hermione asks, and I shrug. 

"Let me off with a warning." 

"Seriously?" Neville asks, and I nod. 

"Yeah, actually.. he.. uh.." I glance at Harry. "He said I reminded him of.. your mom." They all fall quiet, and Harry stares at me for a second. 

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah.. it was kind of odd, I just.. I felt weird keeping that from you."

"Thanks for telling me. It's.. cool. Weird, but.. cool." He says, and I smirk. "They were friends, by the way." Harry adds, meeting my gaze. "Snape and my mother, that's why he doesn't really pick on me much in class." 

"Oh, got it."

"Yeah. Sorry, that probably made you uncomfortable." Harry snickers, and I shrug.

"Just came out of nowhere, I had no fucking clue what to say." I breathe, and he grins.

"What the hell did you say?" 

"Dude, I just fucking nodded." I snicker. "What the hell was I supposed to say, thank you? Your mother seems like a badass, but.. fuck, I was just silent." I mutter, and he snorts. 

"Makes sense, I think anyone would be. We should probably get to class, though." 

"Definitely, we don't want to be late." Hermione says, and then shoves Ron. "Come on, Ronald, stay awake, we've got to go." The two of them start off with Harry, and I stay by Neville, walking a tiny bit slower. 

"I.. thank you, Max. Nobody really stands up for me like that." Neville mumbles, and I nod, offering a slight smile. 

"Of course. You don't have to thank me, it.. it's just what friends do, I guess. You've already done plenty for me." 

"Still, though. Thank you." He says, and I nod once more. 

"Anytime, Neville, it's really-" I stop, his face suddenly turning a dark red, a tiny smile touching his lips. I follow his gaze to a Slytherin boy I saw in class earlier, with a tall, gangly figure, his skin a deep brown and his lips turned up in a flirty, crooked smirk. He winks at Neville and breezes past us both, leaving Neville picking at his fingers anxiously. "Wow, that was not subtle. Like, at all, who was that?" I ask, grinning, and he shrugs a little. 

"Just Blaise."

"Just Blaise, huh?" I ask, and he nods, starting to walk again. "Do you like Just Blaise?"

"I.. I don't.. it.. well, it.. it's complicated." He stutters quietly. 

"Got it, don't worry, I get it. He just clearly likes you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Neville, he completely checked you out and then grinned, he knew exactly what he was doing." I say, snickering, and he shrugs, glancing at me and smiling a little. "Honestly, good for him, it was fucking bold." 

"Shut up, Max." He says, and I smirk. 

"Fine, fine. I'm just saying. That was super cute."

"Ilvermorny!" I hear George shout, and turn around. He runs over, lifting me in his arms and swinging me in a wide circle. 

"Oh my Jesus Christ, what is this for?" I breathe, and he sets me down after what feels like an eternity in the air. 

"Everyone's talking about what you said to Snape. Bloody impressive, even I'm scared of him." He says, and I smile. 

"Wasn't that bad. Just didn't like how he was acting." 

"No, I'm with George, I have no idea how you did that." Fred adds, walking over, Draco silent by his side, refusing to even meet my gaze. 

"I'm going to head to class. I'll meet you there, okay?" Neville says, and I nod. 

"Sure." I reply, and he trots off. "You guys going to keep me too long? I'd rather not be late to Sprout's class the first day, she's literally my head of house. I'm a moron, I need her to be on my side for future purposes." 

"We just want to know what happened, that's all." George says, and Draco looks up a little, finally meeting my gaze, and I nod slightly, trying my best not to react too obviously. 

"He was just kind of being an asshole. Neville took all of two seconds to reply and he lost it. I got mad and told Snape to let him finish. That's it."

"Yeah, well Dean Thomas said you seemed bloody brilliant in that class, so something else happened. What was it?" Fred says, and I sigh. 

"I don't know. We were going over that damn Forgetfulness potion. He was asking Neville what the main ingredients were, and.. like I said, I got mad. So since I wasn't shutting up, he made me answer. Then he asked how much of each ingredient and the whole recipe, and so I told them." 

"And you just.. knew all that off the top of your head?" Draco finally says quietly, and I want to not reply. I want to ignore him, but Fred and George have no idea what's happened between us, so I force a nod. 

"Yeah, but it's a beginner potion. Not that complicated."

"Does that mean you have other potions just.. memorized?" George asks, raising an eyebrow, and I nod. 

"Yeah, kind of. My last potions professor was a dick, too, must just be a common thing. I learned a lot of it out of spite." I mumble, and Fred laughs. "But hey, I'm betting it'll be two weeks until his hair turns purple." 

"Two weeks?" Draco asks, a hint of a smile on his face, and I can't help myself from staring for a second. 

I missed seeing him smile. 

"Yeah, two weeks." I reply, about to smile back when I stop myself, chewing on the inside of my cheek until it's raw. 

I won't let myself get close to him again, not after what happened, not after what he did. We can't go back to the way we were. Not now, not ever. 

"No way, I'm going five days." Fred says, and Draco finally grins, laughing lightly. 

But I can't stop myself as my thoughts completely fade away, and I simply stare for a second, a wave of crushing sadness washing over me. 

I remember when I got him to smile like that. Back when things weren't complicated, back when we were kids and all that really mattered was getting back home before it got dark outside. 

Back before he broke my fucking heart. 

Yeah. Before all that.

"Come on, it'll be three days tops." Draco remarks, and George cackles. 

"Are you blind, Malfoy? It'll be over a week."

"That's absurd."

"No, it's really not. Look at him! It's going to be a while."

"There's no way it'll take that long-" Draco starts, and I run a hand through my hair. 

"Though this seems like a conversation that's truly a good use of our time, I need to get to Herbology. I'll see you guys later." 

"Bye, Ilvermorny!" George and Fred call, as I start down the hall, shoving my hands in my pockets. 

"Wait, Boots." Draco jogs to my side, and glances over at me. 

"Don't call me that."

"I-"

"Just because I'm acting like everything is fine in front of them doesn't mean it really is." I snarl, and he bites his lip, about to reply, when I glance over, meeting his gaze. "They don't know what happened between us because you didn't tell them. You wanted to keep us a secret. So let's just fucking keep it that way. Makes it easier on me anyways." 

"I know you're mad, and I get it. I'm not asking you to stop being mad, I just.. I want to talk to you about-"

"I don't care. Now I have to get to class, so please, leave me alone." I leave Draco alone in the hall, heading outside and towards the large, towering greenhouses. 

My thoughts trail back to the Forgetfulness potion. 

That'd be the only easy way of getting rid of Draco completely, and if I'm being honest, it doesn't sound so bad right now. 


	12. Chapter 11

FIVE YEARS AGO

I start back towards the birch trees, nerves making me slightly nauseous. What if he's not here, I'll feel like a total idiot. He said he'd meet me, but what if he changes his mind? We've only spoken once, after all.

I weave slowly down the path, dread building in my chest, until I stop a few feet from the small cluster of trees. 

I see Draco sitting quietly, picking at the edges of his fingernails intensely, relief flooding over me like a tidal wave. 

"Hey." I say, and he glances up, smiling just a little. 

"Hey." 

"You.. came back." I breathe, and he nods.

"Yeah, why.. Why wouldn't I?" He stutters, and I sit next to him, shrugging a little.

"I don't know. I don't have magic or.. Whatever. I just thought you wouldn't want to.. Talk to me again, I don't know." I murmur.

"That's stupid." He mutters, and I give him a look, a little hurt.

"Wow. Thanks." I whisper. He senses my tone, and glances at me, looking guilty. Draco hesitates for a few seconds, before blushing darkly.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly. "I'm not good at this. Being.. friends, I mean." I meet his gaze, his soft eyes taken by a wave of sadness. "I wasn't trying to be mean."

"It's okay. You're just.. You're the only person I know here."

"When did you get here again?"

"The day before yesterday."

"Oh, wow." Draco murmurs, and I nod. 

"Yeah, we, like, just got here."

"What about school? Have you met anyone that way?" He asks, and I shake my head. 

"I'm homeschooled here." I sigh. "There's.. not really any opportunity for me to go out and make friends, plus.. the time difference with everyone back home is.. complicated."

"So you're alone?" Draco says, and I laugh a little. 

"Yeah, thanks for pointing that out." I say, and he smiles softly, shaking his head. 

"Sorry, but.. if it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of alone too." He murmurs, and I glance over at him, his gaze focused on his hands once more. 

"Really?" I ask, and he shrugs.

"Yeah. First of all, I've never been to school before. Ours starts when we're twelve, it's about seven years."

"You've never been to school? Like ever?"

"Nope."

"Oh my god, lucky. It's awful."

"Well, you're making me super excited for it now." He says, grinning, and I smile. 

"Sorry, it's good with friends, but I can't even talk to mine now. But you'll meet people there. That always makes it better, but.. sorry, I interrupted."

"That's okay. But I don't get out to meet anyone that way, and.." He trails off for a second, before looking back at me. "What did I tell you about my father?"

"Only said he's powerful."

"Well, to put it nicely, a lot of people don't like him." Draco says, and I nod in response. "So, that kind of just means that nobody really likes me." He finally falls quiet, staring at the ground, and I cross my legs on the damp grass. 

"Just... just because of your Dad?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's ridiculous." I say bluntly, and he looks at me, surprised. "You're not your dad."

"He.. uh.. he isn't great, though."

"Can you explain? You don't have to, just-"

"Okay, so..." He says, cutting me off. "There are three kinds of wizards. Purebloods, Halfbloods, and mud-" He stops, falling quiet for just a second, before continuing. "And muggle borns. Purebloods are witches and wizards who have no muggles in their bloodline. Halfbloods have muggles in their bloodline or one muggle parent. Muggle borns have muggle parents but were born with magic. Are you with me so far?" He asks, and I nod. "I'm a pureblood, and.. my.. uh.. my father doesn't think muggles or muggle borns are.. um.. they're not.."

"As good as purebloods." I finish quietly, and he nods. I glance away, starting to get a little upset, trying to unscramble my wild thoughts.

I'm a muggle.

Draco's a pureblood.

Why would Draco's father want him to be friends with someone like me? Unless..."He doesn't know you're talking to me, does he?" I whisper, and he pauses before shaking his head. I suck in my breath, trying my best not to cry, and pushing through the lump in my throat. "Maybe I should go." I get to my feet, brushing off my shorts, about to walk off. 

Draco gets up, roughly grabbing my wrist, his fingers digging into my flesh. 

"No, don't-" He starts, until he freezes for just a second, taking a deep breath and looking down. Draco stops, and gently lets go of my arm. "Please, Max. Don't go."

"What would your father do if he found out you were with me right now?" I ask, and he looks away, not really answering for a few seconds, before he meets my gaze. 

"I don't know. But.. but it.. it's like you just said, right? I'm not my father, I promise I'm not." Draco stutters, tears filling his icy blue eyes, shimmering in the sunlight. "You're the first person to.. You're the first person to want to talk to me, Max. I don't want to lose you, okay?" I stare at him for a second, surprised, before I pull him into a hug. He's completely still for a few seconds, before wrapping his arms around me. We're both quiet for a few seconds, until he leans in, pulling me just a smidge closer. 

"What's going to happen to you if your dad finds out?" I ask, and he shrugs slightly, pulling away and blinking away tears. 

"Doesn't matter, he won't." Draco mutters, pulling himself together in seconds, so fast it almost worries me. 

"I don't like the idea of you getting in trouble just to talk to me."

"I won't get in trouble, Boots." He says, and I nod. 

"You're my only friend here, you know. I don't really want to lose you either." I say, and he nods, smiling just a little bit.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, Bleach Boy."

"I still really hate that nickname."

"Too late to change it now." I smirk, and he grins. 

"But.. I.. anyways. You just moved here?"

"Yeah. My room is so great, it's literally just full of boxes." I say, and he nods a little. 

"Well, there's not much to do here. I could always help you unpack." Draco says, and I look up at him, surprised. 

"Really?"

"Sure. I don't have to go home for a few hours anyways."

"Yeah, okay. Come on." I start down the path, and he stalks by my side, hands deep in his pockets. Even with his gaze on the ground, he's a bit taller than me, and little crisp strands of his slicked back hair fall out of place. "You said you don't go to school til you're twelve, but.. I don't know how old you are now."

"Eleven. Aren't you?" He asks, confused, and I shake my head. 

"Nope. Ten."

"Oh. I thought you were my age."

"Guess not. But what do they even teach you at your school?"

"Well, we stay there the whole year and only come home for breaks and summer, but they teach mostly stuff about magic. Like Herbology, magical plants. Potions, how to brew different potions and their uses. Care of Magical Creatures, pretty self explanatory, and then a few others, like Divination and Muggle Studies."

"I'm sorry, did you say Muggle Studies?" I grin, and he nods. 

"Yeah. Whole class dedicated to studying you guys."

"That's.. super weird, Draco."

"Yeah. But, being friends with you, I guess I'll pass with flying colors." He snickers, and I glance at him, laughing.

"That begs the question, though. What do you know about muggles, if I'm the first one you've met?"

"Not much. I know you.. can't use magic."

"Is that it? That's all you know?"

"I know you guys have school longer than we do, right?"

"Yeah. Started preschool when I was three to four. Elementary school from five to ten, which is now. Then I have three years of middle school, four years of high school, and at least a couple years of college. So, I've been going for over seven years and I've still got at least nine or ten years left. You.. You haven't even started yet." I sigh, and he tries to hide a smile, looking at me with a cocky look in his eyes. "You jerk, I can't believe you only have seven years."

"Yeah, but you've been out meeting people since you were little. I haven't."

"True. Public school is something else, though." I sigh. "Know anything else?"

"Not really, honestly, my.. My father never wanted me to learn about.. you."

"So you know nothing?"

"Pretty much."

"Guess that works out, because I know nothing about you. We can teach each other."

"Okay, then what is it like? Not having magic?"

"I have to do things myself. I don't get cool powers to help me, I'm simply.. self-reliant." 

"Weird." He says, and I giggle. 

"Sure. Not having magic is weird. What else do you have for me to answer?" 

"I don't really know, I've never thought about it too much. You have any?"

"Nope. Can't say I was expecting to meet a wizard."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure I'd ever get to talk to a muggle."

"I'm the exception?" I say, grinning, and he gives me a shove. "Come on, this is our house." I lead him up the long gravel driveway and to the ivy-covered home at the end of the way. 

But I stop outside the front door, looking at him. 

"My parents are muggles. They don't know anything, so you're going to have to lie." I say, and he grows visibly uncomfortable.

"Uh.. okay. What.. what do I do?" 

"You act perfectly fine around me, Draco."

"Is.. there something I should say?"

"I'll do most of the talking, just try to not act like a robot, okay?"

"But.. but you're the only muggle I-"

"I know, but don't freak out. We can go right up to my room after we walk in. Alright?"

"I.. alright. Fine." He breathes, and I swing the front door open, walking inside and watching my mom absent-mindedly walk into the entryway, stopping suddenly. 

"Hey honey, I thought you'd be out a little long-" She glances at Draco, confused, falling quiet and raising an eyebrow. 

"This is Draco. Draco, this is my mom, Alice."

"Nice to meet you." He says, appearing a little stiff, and she nods, smiling. 

"You too."

"His parents know he's over, and he just offered to help unpack. That okay?"

"Sure, no problem. Let me know if you two need anything." 

"Thanks." I reply, and start up the shining wooden steps, motioning to Draco to follow me. They creak a little under our weight, and I walk to the end of the hall, opening up my door. 

My room appears pretty barren, the walls a soft yellow, illuminated by the natural light coming through the windows, boxes lining the walls. All that's set up is my bed in the corner of the room. 

"You weren't kidding, everything is still packed." He says, and I nod. 

"Yeah. Still willing to help out?"

"Totally. Come on, if we start now, we can probably be done in a couple hours." Draco says, offering a slight smile, and I nod, grinning. 

"I know, Bleach Boy. Shame we can't use your magic."

"Oh, shut up, Boots."


	13. Chapter 12

CURRENT DAY

SECOND PERIOD HERBOLOGY

I walk into the green house, seeing every table full of students talking amongst themselves and then glancing back at me. 

Anxiety blossoms in my chest, small vines reaching out and wrapping around my limbs, digging down and holding me in place. Every second another student looks at me, they grow just a bit deeper, tiny pink flowers blooming at my toes and fingertips. 

But I gather all my courage and tear away at the roots, seeing a small, plump woman with tight grey curls and weary eyes, her patch covered clothes coated in a thick layer of dirt. 

She must be Professor Sprout.

I walk over quietly, pausing in front of her until she glances up, smiling brightly. 

"Hello, you must be the new student from Ilvermorny I've heard so much about." She says, and I nod, forcing a smile. 

"Maxine Davis, I go by Max, I'm pretty sure I'm in your house." 

"Yes you are, my dear. Luckily for you, today is a day where I'm simply allowing everyone to catch up on their papers due Wednesday, so.. let's see. Alright, class!" Sprout calls, and all of the faces turn to stare at us in the front of the class. 

I refuse to let any of them see my anxiety, putting on a stern, cold mask. I just yelled at my scary potions teacher on my first day here. I can handle standing at the front of a few classmates, right?

"Raise your hand if both you and your partner have finished the paper." She says, and two boys near the back raise their hands. "Lovely. Ms. Davis, you'll be sitting with Mr. Thomas and Mr. Finnigan for today, while everyone else catches up. Try not to be too disruptive." I walk over to the back table, sitting across from the two of them. Both of them stare at me with wide eyes, so I quickly look away, blushing darkly. "Everyone else, you know what I assigned. Get to work, and get it done. Stay on task, please. Now get to work."

I glance up at the two boys, forcing a slight smile. 

"Uh.. hi. I'm Max."

"Oh, we know. I'm Dean Thomas, this is Seamus Finnigan." Dean is ridiculously tall, with russet brown skin and muscular figure, with a sharp jaw and soft amber eyes. Seamus, on the other hand, is a bit shorter and fairly scrawny, with pale skin and sky-blue eyes, with hair swept in every direction, a couple freckles dotted on his cheeks.

"Saw what you did in class earlier." Seamus adds, his voice thick with an Irish accent. "Wicked." I laugh lightly, looking at the table. 

"Come on, don't be shy. We've got the whole period to talk, you know." Dean says, winking, and Seamus slaps his arm. 

"Don't freak her out, you bloody moron." He sighs, and Dean looks at me, raising an eyebrow. I smirk. 

"You couldn't scare me out if you tried, Thomas." I retort, and he grins. 

"See? She's not freaked out." He says, and Seamus rolls his eyes. "Hey, don't be mad at me." He mutters, and Seamus sighs, smiling. 

"Anyways. I've got to ask you, is it true?"

"Is.. what.. true?"

"The reason you had to come here." Dean adds. "Is it true you beat a guy unconscious?" He says, and I bite my lip. 

"Everyone knows that, huh?" I say, and Dean flashes a smile. 

"Oh yeah, Fred and George were basically bragging about it." He says, and I grin. 

"Yeah. It's true, he was out for almost three days."

"You had a reason, right? Like.. I don't have to worry about you just jumping me in the halls?" Dean says, and I snicker. 

"Hey Finnigan, can you slap him again for me?" I say, and Seamus smirks, hitting Dean's arm. 

"Hey!" Dean whines, and I smile. 

"Yeah, I had a reason. We were friends, but ended on a bad note. Then he made a stupid comment about my friend and made her cry. I.. lost it and beat the hell out of him." I say, and Dean nods. 

"What was the comment?" He asks. 

"It was about her weight." I murmur. "I don't let that shit slide." 

"Damn though, you knocked him unconscious? That's insane." Seamus says, and I smirk. 

"I'm honestly not a violent person. Nobody here really believes that, but I'm not. He's just.. he had it coming, I guess."

"I get it. If anyone said something like that to Seamus, I'd probably beat the hell out of them too." Dean says, and I glance at him, then back at Seamus, staring at the way they lean in close to one another, and the way Seamus looks up at him. 

"How long have you two been together?" I ask, and they both smile a little at the question, glancing at each other with the classic, big puppy dog eyes, seeming entranced by each other's presence. It's cute. But it also makes me miss Andrew. 

I don't want to miss Andrew.

He's still recovering in the hospital because of what I did to him. You'd think I'd be past it all after I knocked him out, but here we are. 

"Year in a month." Seamus answers easily, and I smile, nodding. 

"Good for you. I can't even talk to people." I say, and Dean laughs. 

"Don't worry, you don't have to. Tons of people will talk to you, you don't necessarily have to talk back." He says, and I look at him, growing confused. 

"What does that mean?"

"Davis, you're beautiful." Dean says, and the blood rushes to my cheeks as I look away. "Everybody knows it. It's just that nobody wants to talk to you because they're terrified they'll get yelled at or slapped in the face." Seamus snorts, and I roll my eyes. 

"Depends on what they say, getting slapped in the face is definitely a possibility." 

"Anyways. Come on, we should hang out."

"We're hanging out right now."

"Outside of class." Dean sighs, and I shrug a little, nodding. 

"Depends, what do you guys do for fun?" 

"Sneak out." Dean snickers, and Seamus gives him a look. 

"Be quiet. Idiot, are you trying to get caught?"

"Sorry, sorry. But Max, you seen a lot of Europe?" Dean asks, and I shake my head. 

"Not really. I've seen some of Wiltshire, but that was a long time ago. Kinda just been in my dorm, or getting lost on those stupid fucking moving stairs. Who thought that was a good idea, I really don't understand." I breathe, and Seamus shrugs. 

"Nobody fucking knows. But we should show you around Britain and Europe, it's not hard to sneak out."

"Why don't you just apparate?" I ask, and they stare at me blankly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"We.. don't learn how to apparate until sixth year, do you already know how?" Dean mutters, and I nod. 

"Learned last year. I can get you wherever you guys want to go and back with ease." I say, and Dean grins. 

"That opens up a whole new realm of opportunities. But you should come with us, seriously. There's a lot of cool shit here, plus, it'd be nice to get out for a night." He says. "Last year we went to London for a Saturday, saw Big Ben and everything." 

"So what do you say, Max? Would you be down?" Seamus adds.

"Definitely. You guys don't seriously think I never snuck out of Ilvermorny, right?" I say, and they smirk. "I snuck out all of the time. Didn't sight see, though, I always went to concerts."

"How many did you go to?"

"Six last year. It was always so much fun, have you guys ever gone?"

"Went to a few when I was younger, my dad's a muggle. Loves shows like that." Seamus answers, and I nod. 

"Never been to one." Dean replies. 

"They're my favorite places to be. Really, they're so much fun. Do you guys listen to any muggle artists, or no?"

"Mostly muggles. Never really got into this music." Dean says, and I nod. 

"Same." I pause, and then smile a little. It'll be good to get friends who aren't super close to Draco. I need space from him, seeing him around the twins all the time isn't good for me. It messes with my brain, it's beyond confusing, and it hurts more that I want to explain.

But I hate that it's been three years and it still hurts. 

"But yeah. I'll totally sneak out with you guys, that actually seems like a lot of fun." I say, and Dean grins. 

"Good to know, we'll let you know when we plan on getting out of here." 

ONE HOUR LATER

I walk towards my dorm alone, having left Dean and Seamus back in the Greenhouse. I'm not too hungry, and I still have the bag of snacks George gave me. I don't think I can bear any more random conversation today.

I push down tears, old memories in my head playing on repeat, my thoughts almost incapable of shutting up.

Laughing with Quinn. 

My hand in Andrew's. 

Draco's arms around me. 

Laughing with Quinn. 

My hand in Andrew's. 

Draco's arms around me. 

Laughing with Quinn. I miss causing chaos with her, I miss exploring off campus together, and I miss seeing her face in class. 

My hand in Andrew's. I miss being able to trust him, I miss the way he made me feel, and I miss seeing a text from him every morning. 

Draco's arms around me. I miss laughing with him, I miss how close we were, and I miss seeing him smiling at my window in Wiltshire. 

I miss the way he used to love me. 

But Quinn's in another country, Andrew's in the hospital, where I put him, and Draco's trying to act like nothing's wrong.

"Hey Max, I'm headed to the Great Hall. You coming?" I glance up at George, who walks over, and I plaster on a smile, tugging at my collar and loosening the tie around my throat. 

"Don't think so. I'm not really hungry." I breathe.

"You look like you need to talk." He murmurs, and I shrug. 

"I'm fine."

"Okay, come on." He says. 

"George, I'm not-"

"We're not going to the Great Hall, we're going to my dorm."

"Why?"

"Because you're not fine. You don't have to talk about it, I won't make you do or say anything you're not comfortable with. But I don't think I want you to be alone." 

"I.. okay. Fine, I'll go." 

"Great. Come on." I follow him down three winding flights of steep steps, the hallway getting darker and darker as we go on, the air getting cool. 

But the floor finally evens out, and we enter the Slytherin common room. I stop in my tracks, almost losing my breath. 

The room is huge, circular in shape, with ridiculously high ceilings. Dorms line either side of the common space, but the back is lined in gigantic windows that look out into crystal clear water. 

The bottom of the lake is covered in light sand, fluffy moss and shells, with hundreds of fish and creatures swimming by, the sun shining through the turquoise water and reflecting in beautiful patterns on the stone floor. 

I stare out into the water, looking at all of the wild life and plants that creep along the edges of the windows, unable to find the words to say to describe how incredible it is. 

"Right, it's your first time here." George says, walking over and standing beside the windows with me. "Our common room is under the lake, the lowest room at Hogwarts."

"This.. this is so incredible." I whisper, and he smiles. 

"Come on, you can stare out the window in my room." George has to take my arm and drag me into his dorm, which is strangely nice, despite the messy bed. 

I sit at his desk, which is positioned right in front of the window, staring out at the small creatures, lost in thought. 

George tosses a bag of chips on the desk in front of me. They're Lays, he definitely snuck these on campus. 

"You should still eat something, even if you're not hungry." He murmurs, and I nod a little. "So.. what's going on, Max? You okay?" 

At the last two words, tears spring into my eyes, slipping down my cheeks. "Oh.. Oh, hey, come here." George gently takes me into his arms. "It's alright." 

"I just miss my friends. I'm sorry, I.. I didn't think it'd be this hard." I whisper. 

"That's okay, don't be sorry. Let's sit down." I sit beside him on his bed, pulling my knees to my chest. His bed is pushed up against the wall, a TV on the other side of the room, hung beside his open closet. "It is just missing friends at Ilvermorny, or.. something else?" 

"I've met Draco before." 

"What? What are you talking about?" He asks, and I glance at him. 

"My parents are muggles. My dad's worked in construction since I was a little, he works at a huge company, they're... all over. Mostly, though, we were in California, but when I turned ten, he had to take an important job in Wiltshire for two years. I was the only one who had roots in California, but I was a kid, so my parents thought I'd make a lot of friends here or something." I stop for a second, wiping my cheeks and taking a deep breath. "But I was homeschooled. I didn't get to meet other kids at school. I ran into Draco on accident one day, and for some reason, we just.. clicked, I guess. We got super close super fast, and spent almost every day of that first year together. But.. but he's a year older than me, so he had to come here that next year. We didn't talk as much, but we still texted all of the time, and he even sent letters. We were still really close, he was kind of all I had here. That last summer, things.. fell apart. We didn't end on a good note, and I haven't spoken to him since."

"So that's why you act super stiff whenever we're with him and Fred, yeah?" He asks, and I nod. 

"I don't like that I'm still upset over what happened. But being around him is kind of tearing me apart." 

"That's okay, I don't really hang out with him much anyways."

"What?"

"Max, I don't want you to be uncomfortable around all of us. We don't have to hang out with both of them."

"Fred's your twin brother, George."

"I'm well aware, Maxine." He says, and I manage a slight laugh. "But that doesn't mean we have to hang around him and Draco all of the time."

"Why are you being so nice to me? We.. we just met a few days ago, I don't really get it."

"Because you didn't ask to be here. You were defending your friend, and you're stuck thousands of miles from everyone you knew because of it. I.. I think I'd be miserable. I don't want you to be miserable." He murmurs, and I nod a little. "Plus, you totally remind me of Ginny in every possible way. It's almost eerie." I snicker, wiping my nose. 

"I'm glad I remind you of Ginny, she's a badass."

"Yeah, I know, I had to grow up with her." He says, and then sighs a little. "But you're a tough kid."

"Kid? George, I'm one year younger than you."

"You don't outgrow kid, Max."

"Oh shut up, Weasley." I smile, and he grins, before it fades a little. 

"Who else knows?"

"About Draco?"

"Yeah."

"Nobody here."

"Not even Neville?"

"He has a clue. He thinks I'm acting weird, but no."

"I'm the first one you told?"

"Other than Quinn and Jane, yeah. I don't.. I don't like talking about what happened, it-"

"You don't have to. I get it, it's private. I'm just.. surprised you told me your secret. I'm happy you trust me, I guess I'd just think you'd tell.. somebody else first."

"Yeah, well.. you're the one who actually noticed I'm not okay, so.. felt right that you're the first to know." 

"Since we're in the secret-telling mood, can I tell you one?" He asks, and I smile a little, nodding. 

"Totally."

"You won't.. tell anyone.. right?"

"No, of course not. Secrets are secrets, and I basically just poured my guts out to you, so definitely not."

"I'm... I think I'm.. bi." He murmurs, and I smile. 

"Hey, me too." 

"Wait, really?"

"Oh, yeah. Very much so. But I came out a while back" I smirk, and then pause for a second. "Is.. there a guy you like, then?" 

"Kind of. I think so. Well.. it.. it's.. complicated." George stutters, blushing. "I can't tell if he's flirting back or not."

"Maybe I can help you figure it out. If you ever feel comfortable telling me who it is."

"Good to know." He says, and I smile, nodding. "But.. can I ask one more question? And you don't have to answer."

"Sure."

"Did you like Draco? Back when you were younger?" he asks, and I pause, hesitating. "Because.. the way you were describing it all, it kind of seems like you did." After a few more seconds, I nod just slightly. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. But.. I didn't know I was a witch back then. I didn't really even understand why someone like him would even talk to me, and I didn't want to lose him. So I just... kept my mouth shut."

"Got it. Well, don't worry about it, okay? You won't have to hang out around him."

"Thanks."

"Of course." I pop open the bag of chips, taking a few and popping them in my mouth. "We still have like an hour of break, don't we?"

"Oh yeah." He grins. "Want to just watch a movie or something?" He asks, and I giggle. 

"Yeah, sure. Sounds great."


	14. Chapter 13

FOUR YEARS AGO

THE BEGINNING OF JUNE

I flip through the pages, sitting squished in the corner of my room on my bed, a knitted blanket covering my legs.

A quiet tap on my window pulls me out of my daze, and I glance up, breaking into a smile and getting up. I walk over, opening it quickly, and Draco hops in, tackling me in a big hug. 

"I'm supposed to know this book for next year, Bleach Boy. I have to read it, I'm almost positive I told you that." I mutter, leaning into the crook of his neck for a second, wrapping my arms around him.

"I know, but I was sitting in my room, thinking about how you told me to give you a couple days to just get it done, and I realized that I could help." He says, hiding laughter, and I grin. 

"You know you're going to be no help at all, Draco! I don't need your help reading a book." I sigh, and he shrugs. 

"Maybe I can still help somehow. Come on, Boots, just let me look at it." He breezes past me, grabbing the novel on my bed and glancing at the pages for a second, before smiling. "Nope, you're right. I'm no help, I have no idea what this is or even who the author is." He says, and I can't help but smile back. 

"You're an idiot." 

"Eh, well. You still like me, so I can live with that." He says, a cocky grin spreading on his face as he sits on my bed, leaning against the wall. I sit next to him, and he glances at me for a second, his smile fading. "I just.. I go to school in a couple months. And.. and once I go, I'm.. I'm not going to see you until Christmas. I want to spend as much time with you as I can until then." 

"We said we wouldn't talk about this until the end of August." I murmur, trying to blink away the tears in my eyes. 

"I know, I just.. the last year's kinda.. flown by. I don't doubt this summer will too."

"Draco, I don't want to talk about this." I breathe. 

"Max-"

"We said we weren't going to talk about it. You still have three months, Draco." I get up, running my hand through my hair.

"We can't just not talk about it, Boots."

"Draco, please." I sigh, and he looks at the ground. 

"Why are you upset with me?"

"I'm not upset with you!" 

"No, you clearly are." 

"No, I'm not. It's fine, okay?" I say through a clenched jaw, tears filling my eyes. "I just don't want to talk about it anymore, why does it matter?!"

"Because I'm going to boarding school hours away, Max."

"I'm aware, Draco!"

"I can't control it, Max, I can't not go!"

"I wouldn't ask you to, alright?!"

"Max, I have to go to Hogwarts, it's not my fault you're not a witch!" He hisses. I fall silent, starting to cry, balling up my fists.. Regret fills his pale eyes. "Max, I didn't-" He starts, and I storm out of my room, jogging down the steps and into the living room. Draco starts after me. "Max, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"I didn't ask you to be friends with me." I whisper, looking back at him. "I know I don't have magic, Draco. I.. I don't.. I don't know what you want from me."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"I can't do magic. I'm not going to go to some incredible magic school, Draco, I go to public school online on my computer. Nothing weird happens to me without reason, I'm just normal. That's not going to change." 

"I don't want you to change, Max, I like you, I don't care that you're not magic." He says, tears filling his eyes. "I just.. I just wish you could come with me, I don't want to not see you for four months." 

I pull him into a tight embrace, a couple tears dripping down my cheeks. He holds me so tight that I can barely breathe, his cheek pressed to mine.

"I'm sorry, Max, I'm so sorry." 

"Just don't forget about me at your new school, Bleach Boy." 

"Are you kidding?" He pulls away, gently wiping off my cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm never going to forget about you, Boots. Ever. Plus, I wouldn't come back for breaks and not see you, that's ridiculous." He murmurs, holding me and almost refusing to let go.

"I don't know what I'm going to do not seeing you everyday." I whisper, and he doesn't reply, his arms tightening around me. 

"You know I.. You know I love you, right? That.. that isn't going to change just because we won't.. we won't see each other all the time." Draco breathes, and I pull away, surprised he admitted that to me.

Draco doesn't talk about his feelings ever, especially something like that. He shuts me out most of the time. He never even talks about his family, I had no idea he cared that much about me.

"I love you too." I manage to get out, blushing a little, and he smiles slightly before shoving me. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Not quite sure, just seemed necessary." He smirks, and I roll my eyes, wiping my nose with my sleeve. "So come on, alright? Let's go outside." Draco takes my hand and leads me out the front door, heading back down that same path to the birch trees.


	15. update!!

hey everyone!! tysm for reading my story, it really means everything to me! i love yall so much!

but ive been on break from school this last week, and posting much more often cuz ive had a TON of free time! i will not have this much stuff coming out this often starting this saturday (1/23/21) when I'll probably start posting only once or twice a week :(

i wish i could post super often too, i promise, i love writing it. but it makes things easier on me so plz don't be too mad :)

ty for understanding, i love you guys sm! <33


	16. Chapter 14

CURRENT DAY

FRIDAY NIGHT

I trot down the steps to the Slytherin common room, my hands deep in my hoodie pockets as I glance out the huge windows, once again taken aback by the beauty of the lake. A school of silver fish swim by, barely visible, the water growing darker from the lack of sunlight.

"Ilvermorny!" Fred calls, pulling me out of my daze, and I look over. 

"Hey Weasley." I reply, and he walks over, giving me a side hug. 

"Fred and I have plans this weekend, you should tag along." Fred says. I raise an eyebrow. 

"I'm not that stupid, Weasley."

"What are you talking about?"

"First of all, George texted me to meet him in his dorm. Second of all, you are not George." I breathe, and he stares at me, surprised. 

"How-"

"Hey, Fred, come on." I turn, and Draco stops a little, looking at me. I manage a grin, glancing at Fred and raising an eyebrow. 

"Damn it, Malfoy. Ruined it." He mutters. 

"I'm.. sorry? What's happening?" Draco murmurs, glancing at me, a confused look on his face. 

"Fred thought he could trick me. Dumbass." I say, smiling, and for just a second, Draco smiles back. "So. Where's George?"

"Hey, Ilvermorny!" George lifts me up, swinging me in a circle. I break into laughter, and he sets me down, kissing my forehead. I shove him off, giggling. 

"Oh.. are.. uh.. are you two-" Draco stutters, and I shake my head quickly, alarmed.

"Nope, I'm bi and into a guy at the moment." George exhales, and I spin to look at him with wide eyes. 

"Very much supporting you no matter what, but is this how you really wanted to come out to them?" I whisper, and he glances at me, shrugging and nodding a little. 

"Seems fine to me." He mutters, and I nod.

"Then in that case, great. Proud of you." 

"Wait, Max knew before I did?" Fred asks, annoyed. 

"Yeah, I broke down and spilled my guts to George, it was like a.. secret trade, sort of a deal." I reply, and Fred nods. "Don't worry, it was literally just a few days ago, anyways."

"Okay, cool. I'm bi too." Draco replies quietly, and I glance at him, shocked. He looks back at me, a tiny smile on his face. "Seemed like the appropriate time to bring it up." I manage a smile back, nodding slightly. 

"That's fair." I murmur. 

"So.. half of our group isn't straight?" Fred says, and I snicker. 

"Oh no, I'm bisexual. I came out two years ago, didn't think it'd really matter unless I went and got some hot British girlfriend." I say, and George grins. 

"We'll see you guys later." George says, glancing at me, a strange look in his eyes. He knows I don't want to be around Draco very much. 

"Wait, hang on." Draco calls, and then smiles just a bit. "Proud of you, Weasley." 

"Thanks, Malfoy." George murmurs, then drapes his arms around my shoulders and starts to lead me off. 

"Hell no, wait a bloody minute!" Fred shouts, and George stops, surprised. Fred pulls George into a tight hug, the two of them quiet for a little bit. Draco and I stand a little awkwardly, and I cross my arms, almost feeling as if I'm intruding on a sweet moment. "So who's the guy?" Fred asks, a cocky grin spreading on his face, and George gives him a shove. 

"Shut it."

"How'd you know, though?" Draco asks, his hands deep in his pockets, tapping his leg slightly, and George shrugs. 

"I don't really know, I mean, you're pretty hot." He says, and Draco snickers. I cover my mouth with a hand to hide a smile, and George winks at Draco. 

"I'm flattered. Gotta say, you're fairly handsome yourself." Draco retorts.

"Alright, I'm gonna leave before you two start making out." I smirk, about to walk over to George's dorm. 

"Wait, Max. How'd you know I wasn't George?" Fred asks, and George raises an eyebrow, glancing at me. 

"I hang out with George every day. You guys have obvious differences if you pay enough attention."

"Like how Fred's a little taller and has the scar on his eyebrow." Draco adds, and I nod. 

"Yeah, exactly."

"He's taller? Maybe I should borrow your platforms, Ilvermorny." George mutters, leading me to his dorm and walking in after me. "You okay?"

"I'm good." 

"But Draco-"

"Yeah, I just learned that I shut him out or act like we never met." I say, and he gives me a worried look. 

"That doesn't seem entirely healthy."

"It's my best shot at the moment." 

"You guys were pretty close, huh?" He asks, and I hesitate before nodding. "Can I.. ask a little about it?"

"Sure." I sit on the chair by his desk, glancing out into the water, biting my lip. I look back at George, who meets my gaze. 

"How'd you two meet?"

"I moved to Wiltshire for two years for my father's job. My mother worked all of the time too, I was alone all of the time. So I went exploring one day and saw him messing around with magic."

"How long were you guys friends?"

"Two years."

"Oh damn."

"Yeah, I know." I breathe.

"Still don't want to talk about what happened?"

"Nope. I've only told two people other than Draco, and they're both currently at Ilvermorny." I pause, and look up at him. "But I need you to know that I trust you, George. I don't want you to think I don't, I've spent most of my time here with you. It's unbelievably complicated, and.. I.. I'm not ready to talk about it. I know it's been a long time, but I'm-"

"Still hurt?" He finishes, and I nod. "I'm not upset with you, Max. It's your past. I don't want to make you talk about something you don't want to talk about, I'm.. I'm just.. worried about what he did to you. That's all." 

"You don't have to worry about me." I sigh, and he looks at me. 

"We're friends, that's what friends do." He says. 

"You know I trust more than anybody else here, right?" I murmur. He smiles just a little. "I know I can be shut off, and I know it's going to be a little bit until I'm ready to talk about it. I just.. I need to, like, guarantee that you understand that you mean a lot to me." 

"Yeah, yeah, I understand." He grins, and I smile, shaking my head at his dorky expression.

"So why'd you want me to come over?"

"I'm bored out of my damn mind, and Dean told me to invite you to come sneak out and smoke with us. They got together a while ago, and we can go now. Are you down?"

"Sure, sounds fun. Let's go." I say, and we walk back out into the common room, both Draco and Fred gone. Part of me wonders if they're there with Dean, but I hope to god they aren't. 

I don't like how easy it is to be comfortable around Draco again. It's nice just being in his company, and I hate that I think that, or that I know I want to be around him more. 

He broke me. 

It's been three years, and I'm still not over what he did. But now that he's here, in my face, it's fine? Hell no, I can't let myself do that. 

I'm worth more than that. I don't deserve to be treated like a fucking toy, and I won't put up with his bullshit anymore. 

"Where are we going?" I ask, and George smiles. 

"By the greenhouses, there's a place there we always go. Should you grab a jacket, it gets cold." He says, and I shake my head. 

"I'll be alright." 

George leads me outside and into a small outdoor area, covered with a dome shaped stone roof, soft fog covering the moonlight grass outside. 

"There they are!" Dean calls, and I smirk. There's a small group of people, and luckily, I recognize just about everyone. Dean, Seamus, Fred, and Ginny. Thank God Draco isn't here, I think I would've jumped off the Astronomy Tower.

"Hey, what's up, guys?" I say, sitting beside Ginny, who's rolling up a blunt. George sits beside his brother, 

"Currently trying to unbelievably stoned. How are you?" She asks, and I snicker. 

"Great, thanks for asking." I sigh, and she hands me the blunt. "I can roll my own you know."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. You were just late, and I already started smoking, so I just started one for you." Ginny breathes, and I grin, nodding. I pull out my lighter and lean back, taking a drag. 

"So, Ilvermorny, did you sneak out to smoke often?" Dean asks, smirking, and I nod. 

"All the time." I say, forcing a smile, my thoughts running back to Andrew. 

It's weird to think I rarely smoked before him, but I guess I not only get to blame him for my pain and heartache but also for my addiction to drugs. Lovely. 

We all sit for a while, laughing and smoking. I find myself losing more and more awareness of where we are and what we're doing, but I don't stop, desperate to drown out the depressing shit that's been plaguing my mind the last week. 

However, after less than an hour, my thoughts twist into a spiral of negative memories and emotions. Flashes of my own pain, amongst flashes of Draco and Andrew, whirl around my head, making me uncomfortable and strangely nauseous.

"Hey, I.. I'm gonna go." I stutter, getting to my feet.

"Okay, no worries. Are you feeling alright?" Ginny asks, and I nod. 

"Totally. See you guys later." I murmur, walking through the halls, until I come to a stop. Air seems to get caught in my throat, oxygen unable to get into my lungs as I struggle to breathe. Suddenly after, my hands starting to shake uncontrollably, and the floor rolls in wave under my feet. 

Stumbling a little, I lean on the wall, sitting down and pulling my knees to my chest. 

I can hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears, becoming so loud that it's the only thing I can hear as I start to cry, desperately struggling to breathe. Panic creeps up from the tips of my fingers, slowly growing and reaching my chest and neck, keeping me shivering violently on the stone floor.


	17. Chapter 15

THREE MONTHS AGO

ABOUT THE MIDDLE OF JUNE

I sit on my bed, staring at my phone, lost in thought and unbelievably bored. It's only been a couple weeks of summer break and I'm losing my mind. Quinn lives all the way in New Jersey, Jane in Washington. We're all too far from each other to visit, and there is not much more I can do in Ferndale. 

I'm on the verge of losing my goddamn mind. 

A sudden rap at the door pulls me out of the clouds, and I walk over, swinging it open. 

I freeze, staring at Andrew, confused. He wears a simple hoodie and loose jeans, his hair a bit of a mess, but strangely cute that way.

"Uh.. Hey, Hearn. You know school's off til September, yeah?" I smirk, and he grins, nodding a little. 

"Yeah, okay, I deserve that."

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, and he opens his mouth to reply. "Actually, no, stop, hang on. I'll go with a more pressing question to me, which is, how exactly do you know where I live?" 

"Okay, so, I follow you on social media-"

"You stalked me?" I raise an eyebrow, and he shakes his head. 

"No! No, I.. I didn't say that-" He says, stumbling over his words, and I smile softly. 

"Okay, then what are you trying to say, Hearn?"

"I noticed you're in Ferndale, so I asked your friend Quinn for your address because I live in Eureka, it's only like, a thirty minute drive." He says, starting to smile back. "And since we go to Ilvermorny, all of my friends are kind of scattered across the country, and I never get to see any of them. So.. I thought that, you know, since we're so close together.. maybe we could hang out or something." His cheeks flush a little, and I nod. 

"Yeah, alright. Let's go."

"I.. what?"

"Well, my parents work all of the time, and you just got here, so I'm not going to make you go all the way back to Eureka. Let's go do something." I answer, and he nods, a bright look in his eyes. 

"Okay, yeah! Great."

"Real quick, though?"

"Yeah?"

"You definitely cannot be legally driving without a parent right now." I breathe, and he snorts. 

"I learned forever ago, and I made a fantastic fake ID that always works on muggles."

"Always works? Dude, how many times have you gotten pulled over?" I laugh, and he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. 

"Two, three times."

"Three times?! There is no way in hell I'm letting you get behind the wheel!"

"So what do you suggest, Maxine?"

"You know it's Max, and I'm suggesting that I drive us to go do something."

"You going to tell me what that something is?"

"No. Keys."

"I'm not letting you drive my car." He says, eyes wide, and I smile, looking up at him. 

"Wanna hang out or not?" I ask, and he clenches his jaw, sighing. 

"If you scratch it, I will end you." 

"I'm sure. Come on, Hearn. Keys." I sing, holding out a hand, and he rolls his eyes, dropping them in my palm. "Nice. Let's go." I grab my own keys and lock up my front door, jogging down the steps and hopping into the driver's side of his older deep green truck. 

Turning the keys and starting the engine, I start down my driveway and onto the road.

"You lived in Ferndale for a while?" He asks, and I shake my head. 

"No. My parents move once every one to two years, they've only been here a few months."

"So.. what about your room and stuff?"

"I have one." I smirk. "I just take all of my cool decorations and stuff to Ilvermorny. it's empty here, literally just a bed and nightstand, and I take home some clothes and a charger for my phone."

"Oh. That kind of sucks."

"I guess. I'm thankful I have Ilvermorny, to be honest. It's the only way I've been able to stay at school for so long and meet people and friends."

"So your parents aren't home much, then?"

"Nope." I swing a right, pulling up the steeper hill. "Never really spent a ton of time with them, but.. they're my parents. Love them, they provide a ton of opportunities for me. But.. Quinn and Jane are my family." 

"You guys are really close, huh?"

"Yep. Have been since first year." I stop, pulling into a parking spot. "Come on." I jump out of the tall truck, locking it and shoving the keys into my pockets. 

Andrew joins my side, looking around. 

"Where are we?"

"Russ Park. There's.. nothing to do here, Hearn. But it's pretty up here, so I decided that was best. Now come on, the trail's right up here." He follows me close into the trees. I glance at him, his hands deep in his hoodie pockets, his eyes on everything but me. 

"Are your parents muggles, then?" He asks, and I nod. 

"Yeah."

"Mine too." 

"Really?" I say, a little surprised, and he nods. 

"Is that surprising?"

"I.. yeah, I mean.. kind of. Your friends.." I trail off, then stop. "You seem like you've grown up with all this stuff."

"Nope. I was wildly confused when I first went to Ilvermorny. I initially thought I was going insane, though."

"Some kind of fever dream?" I snicker, and he nods, grinning. 

"Totally. But can I be honest with you?"

"Sure."

"When we were in first year, you acted like you'd seen all of it before. Had you?" He asks, and I debate with myself silently for a second. 

Don't tell him about Draco. 

You should be honest, he's being kind. 

Everything with Draco was a train wreck. 

I barely know Hearn. 

Just don't lie. 

But don't tell him everything. 

I nod in response. "If your parents are muggles, then.. how did you.. know?" He continues.

"Already told you my parents move a lot. We were in England for two years. An old friend of mine is a wizard, we met as kids. He goes to Hogwarts."

"Got it, got it." 

"But enough about me, right? I.. I feel like I barely know you, we've only really talked when you got me out of expulsion a couple weeks back." I smile, and he nods. 

"I know, that was super fucking cool of me, right?" He says, and I shove him, weaving through the trees. Andrew laughs lightly, keeping behind me. "But anyways. What do you want to know?"

"How long have you been in Eureka?"

"Couple years. Moved from Ashland, Oregon."

"Lucky. I love Oregon."

"Me too."

"Miss it?" I ask, and he nods. 

"Every day. Hardest part about being muggle born is not being able to explain to old friends why you can't talk to them anymore or tell them anything about your life now. I had to kind of cut them off because I felt like I was just lying, you know?" He says, meeting my gaze, and the blood rushes to my cheeks as I shake my head. 

"Not really. I moved around so much I never made any real friendships until Ilvermorny. I was just happy to meet other people I could see for longer than a year."

"That's.. actually... really sad." 

"Thank you, Hearn." I snicker, and he turns bright red. 

"No, I didn't mean it like.. I didn't.. I wasn't-" He stops for a second. "I wasn't trying to be a dick." He murmurs, and I glance back at him, offering a bit of a smile. 

"You're fine. You should stop caring so much about what people think of you."

"What?"

"Every time I say something sarcastic, you apologize until I tell you it's okay. You shouldn't have to try so hard and make everyone like you." Andrew doesn't really reply, and I walk over to a stone bench looking over the valley. I sit down, looking back at him, and he quietly sits next to me. "Look. I spent so much of my life trying to get people to love me that I kind of lost who I was. I don't want to let that happen to you."

"How do you just.. not care, Max?" He murmurs, and I shrug. 

"I had to realize that people are going to hate me no matter what. No matter how much I try, no matter how much I change, people are still going to hate me. So, I just do what I want. They're still going to hate me, the only difference is, I.. I don't hate myself. That's important, you know." I say softly, and glance over at him. Andrew doesn't really reply. I bite my lip, trying to think of something to say. "You're a good guy. That's kind of rare for people our age. So.. stop trying to be the person people want you to be. I like this Andy." 

"You're not nearly as scary as everyone says." He says, a slight, cocky smile on his face, and I raise an eyebrow. 

"What does that mean?"

"Everyone's scared of you. For good reason, too, you're genuinely terrifying. You're kind of just.. nice, though."

"Thank you, Andy." I say dryly, and he grins. "Who the hell is scared of me?"

"Literally everyone. I kind of am too, that's why I didn't talk to you for three years."

"What?" I ask, and he glances at his feet, shrugging slightly. 

"It's like I told you back at Ilvermorny. We've had every class together, I've always kind of wanted to talk to you. I just didn't want you to beat the shit out of me or something." Andrew says, and I snicker. 

"I wouldn't do that." 

"Yeah, sure."

"Shut up!" 

"Sorry, sorry." He smiles, and I stare at him for a second, a lovely, calm, soft feeling filling my stomach. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't insanely cute. I just don't know if I'm willing to let him in just yet. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"If.. if you've been scared to talk to me for so long, why.. why start now?" I stutter, and he blushes a dark crimson, looking away and shrugging. 

"Because I think if I didn't now, I never would. You literally didn't know I existed a month ago." 

"That's not on you, I'm not super observant." I say, and he smiles, nodding. 

"Well, anyways. I just don't want to look back in like five years and wish I would've said 'hi' or something. You seem really cool."

"I know. I am pretty awesome, let's be real."

"Shut up, Max." He laughs.


	18. Chapter 16

I rest my face in my hands, my breath scattered and shallow, my heart pounding so loud I can hear it in my ears. Tears fill my eyes and slip down my cheeks, stopping between my lips or dripping off my chin.

I can't seem to drag my thoughts from the fact that I can't breathe. I hold my throat, wishing I could calm down, wishing I could just be normal and shut this out.

"Max?" I can barely hear anyone around me, the ground still rocking below me, my eyes burning from the tears. "Max?!" My hands shake violently in my lap, and I shut my eyes, wishing I could take in a deep breath, but unable to hold in oxygen for longer than a few seconds. "Hey, Max, look at me, what's wrong?" I glance up a little, my vision blurred from the tears. Draco kneels in front of me, eyes scanning mine, a worried expression written on his face.

"It.. it's just a.. a fucking panic attack, okay?" I whisper. "Happens all of the time."

"Max, come on, you.. you're not okay." He murmurs, and I look at him, more tears filling my eyes.

"What are you doing here, Draco?"

"I was headed to meet the twins, you look like you're having a bad high."

"You think?" I hiss, and he sucks in his breath, keeping my gaze.

"Max, you.. you can be pissed at me. I get it, okay, I do. Just let me stay with you until this is over, please." He murmurs, and I lay my face in my hands.

"Draco. Just go." I say, breaking into sobs, gasping for air.

"Max." He murmurs, and I look back at him, my body tensing with every throbbing beat of my heart. He gently takes my hand in his, rubbing my fingers softly. "You should get back to your dorm."

"I.. I can't.. I can't breathe, Draco." I gasp, my cheeks flushing red, my face twitching, my nose scrunching a little as I blink too fast.

"I know, but you're going to be okay. It's just a panic attack, that's all. It'll be over soon. It happens to everyone, okay?" He says, and I look up at him, gripping his hand tight. I hate how comforting it is being around him again. I hate how comforting he is. "It's going to be alright, Max. It's okay."

"What.. What did I do?" I manage to ask.

"Pretty sure you just got too high, Boots. We've all made the mistake, but it's okay, you'll be fine."

"No, what.. what did I do? Why did.. why did you do it, Draco, what.. what did I do wrong?" I stutter, tears burning my eyes, and he struggles to find a reply, his eyes trained on mine.

"Max.. it.. it's.." He falls quiet, and I suck in my breath, looking away, shuddering.

"You can't.. you can't even.. tell me?" I whisper.

"I just-"

"I.. I don't need your help, I can.. I can get back by myself." I struggle to my feet, starting down the hall.

"Max, please, just let me take you to your common room." He pleads, gently taking my shoulder, and I push him off, wiping my face, still shaking.

"Don't touch me." I start towards the common room, my wet hair falling into my face as I chew on my lip intently, trying to count out my breaths. Draco steps in front of me. "Move, Draco." I hiss, and he shakes his head, his soft hair shining in the moonlight.

"I can't let you go alone, Max."

"You let me go three years ago. So stop.. stop trying to act like everything's okay, Draco, it's not fucking okay! None of it's okay, I don't.. I don't want to be here with.. with you, I.." I stop, my voice breaking, more tears cutting me off. "I hate having to.. to wake up every morning and remind myself that we're not friends anymore. It's fucking killing me." I sob, and tears shine softly in his eyes as he stares at me. "But you're the one that.. that wanted this, you wanted this."

"No, Max, I-" Draco tries to lean in and take my shoulders, but I push him away, collecting all of the strength I can muster, and looking up at him.

"I don't fucking need you, Draco." I whisper. "I haven't needed you since the day you decided you didn't want me anymore." A tear slips down his flushed cheek, and I cross my arms over my chest to stop them from shaking. "You wanted this." I repeat, my bottom lip trembling out of my control.

"Max? Max, you out here?" I turn, and George runs over, eyes widening. "Draco.. what.. Max, what's going on, what happened?"

"I need to go back to my dorm." I choke out, and stumble, the floor rolling under my feet, the bricks blending together into a sickening blur. George helps stabilize me, looking at Draco, waiting for an explanation.

"She's having a bad high." Draco murmurs, wiping his cheeks hastily and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I don't know if it's just a bad reaction or if it was laced or something."

"I.. okay. Got it." George replies quietly. "Thank you." Draco doesn't reply, turning and stalking off. "Come here, Ilvermorny, I've got you." He gently pulls me to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist and helping me down the hall.

We slowly make our ways up the steps, until he opens the door to the Hufflepuff common room. Luckily, no other students are in the common room, just us. My mind gets hazy once more, my sight and hearing fading in and out every few seconds. George gently pulls me into my room, and I sit on the edge of my bed, crying silently.

George wraps an arm around my shoulders, letting me cry for a while, before pulling away and looking into my eyes.

"Hey. I need you to breathe, alright? Just focus on that right now. Can you breathe with me?" He asks, and I nod. "Okay. Let's just take a few deep breaths, that's all." George breathes with me for a few moments, until my hands shake a little less, my breathing starting to regulate. I try to focus on every part of him, from his floppy reddish hair, to the thousands of barely visible freckles on his cheeks, to the mixed prints that make up his soft clothing. "Okay. Do you think it was laced, or-"

"I don't think so." I whisper. "Just.. just a really fucking horrible panic attack." I look over, wiping the tears off my face with my sleeves. "I'm okay now. You can leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." He says, pulling me close to him, and I lean into his shoulder. "What happened with Draco?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I whisper, and he nods. "Can you.. can you just like talk? I know that sounds wild, I just.. need a distraction."

"Sure. You know, I sat with that guy in Potions."

"The.. The one you like?"

"Yeah."

"I'm proud of you." I murmur, and he laughs softly.

"Thanks. We've actually been talking a lot lately. I think you'll like him."

"You're going to let me meet him soon?" I breathe, and he nods.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Finally."

"You've only known about him a few days, what do you mean 'finally'?"

"I want to help you two actually get together. I know you'll be cute together."

"You've never seen him before."

"Yeah, but you're cute, and you like a cute guy, so you'll be cute. It's basically science." I sigh, and he smiles.

"I know you miss Ilvermorny, and I know it's only been a week, but I'm actually really happy you're here." He says softly.

"Thank you for taking me back to my room." I murmur, and he nods. George pulls me a little closer, leaning on me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." I shut my eyes. "Promise me you'll talk to the guy tomorrow."

"What?"

"The guy you like. Talk to him tomorrow."

"I.. why?"

"You just should."

"I probably won't."

"Why not?"

"Because if Slytherin wins the match, he'll be pissed, and if Gryffindor wins the match, I'll be pissed." He says, and I manage a smile, pulling away and looking at him.

"He plays quidditch too! Oh my god, you're basically perfect."

"We don't know if he's not straight yet."

"It'll be fine, George. We'll figure it out, I'll be there to help."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay."

THE NEXT MORNING

"Come on, I'm running late, we gotta get to the Great Hall!" George whines, and I nod, rubbing my eyes and following him out of the common room, wearing a simple hoodie and skater jeans, my boots unzipped as I trudge along beside him.

"Oh my god, you have too much energy, honey." I sigh, and he pulls me close to him, throwing the Great Hall doors open.

"Brighten up, Max, we're going to win the first Quidditch match of the season today!"

"Yes. You've mentioned. I am still recovering from that massive panic attack slash mental breakdown I had last night."

"Right. My bad. Eat some food, drink some coffee."

"Not a bad idea." I sit at the table, and he sits next to me, scarfing down a few muffins, while a grab a scone and pour myself some coffee. Dropping in a couple cubes of sugar, I try to get most of it down, proving unsuccessful when I find myself feeling a bit ill.

"Where have you been? We have a match in an hour, you know." I hear someone say.

"I stayed in Max's room last night." George replies. "Woke up a bit late."

"Oh, are.. are you two together?" I glance up, an older Gryffindor looking at me, and George and I look at each other, both of us bursting into laughter. I try to breathe, gasping for air, still giggling.

"Oh no. Oh dear god, no." I choke out, and George cackles.

"No, we are not together in any way." He adds, and I look at the Gryffindor. A slight hint of relief floods over his features, and he nods, a slight smile on his face.

"Yeah, I had a real bad high. He was just making sure I didn't die or something, I don't know." I sigh, and George smirks.

"And she didn't. So we're in the clear." He says, and I glance back at the Gryffindor, breaking into a grin.

"I don't think we've met before. I'm Max Davis."

"Oliver Wood." He replies.

"You're on the Gryffindor team?"

"Yeah. Keeper."

"And you think you guys are going to win?" I ask, and he smirks, looking at George and nodding.

"Definitely. You've got no chance."

"Come on, Wood, we're going to crush you." George taunts, and Oliver grins.

"In your dreams. See you on the field, Weasley, I can't wait to beat you." Oliver trots off, and I break into a grin, snickering and giving George a shove.

"Hey, what was that for?" He asks, and I smile, bouncing a little, covering my mouth with a hand to try and calm down. "What's going on with you, why are you acting so weird?"

"That's him. That's him, that has to be the guy!" I giggle, and he shoves me harder.

"Shh!" He breathes, and I look at him.

"So? So, was that him?!"

"Yeah, that was him." He says, blushing slightly, a goofy smile on his face.

"He's so cute! And he was so worried you and I were dating, that means he was jealous! He likes you, oh my god, he likes you!"

"Shut it, Ilvermorny!" George hisses, that same, dorky smile spreading on his face.

"Oh my god, yes! This is great!" I whisper, grinning, and he shoves me once more. "Now you just have to go and absolutely obliterate your crush on the Quidditch field."

"Which team you going for?" He asks, and I shrug.

"I.. honestly.. do not know. Ginny's on Gryffindor's team, and I wanna support her. But I wanna support you and Fred too and you're both on Slytherin's team. Plus you're all siblings, so it's even more complicated."

"You know Ron and Harry are on Gryffindor's team too, right?" George snickers, and I shrug.

"We didn't click. I've spent almost every day with you or Ginny. So.. I'll root for whoever's winning five minutes in." I say, and he snorts.

"Okay. I'll see you in the stands, Max."

"Yes you will, now go kick that cute kid's ass."

"You know I will." He grins, taking off his Slytherin scarf and winding it around my neck, before he kisses my forehead quickly and jogs off.

"Idiot!" I call, returning to my scone as he laughs, trotting out of the Great Hall.


	19. Chapter 17

ABOUT ONE MONTH AGO

THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST

"Hey, Max, come on!" Andrew calls, and I jog outside, shutting my door and locking it, shoving my wand in my pocket. I run over, hopping in the truck and looking at him with a smile.

"Hey." I say, and he grins. 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

"I woke up late! It is summer, you know. We go back to school in just a couple weeks, I'd like to not have to wake up before one in the afternoon."

"Max, it is literally noon. When did you wake up?"

"Half an hour ago."

"Half an-" He stops, rolling his eyes. "Know what, never mind." 

"No, hey, what were you going to say?"

"You just.. I look exhausted for fucking hours after I wake up. You just.. You look gorgeous, it's ridiculous." He mutters. I blush a dark red, biting my lip, suddenly painfully aware of my messy makeup and wrinkled clothes. I look like a fucking mess. "Alright, anywhere you want to go?" He asks, glancing at me, his deep green eyes meeting mine. 

"I.. don't.. know. I was kind of just thinking we could drive around for a while or something, you know?" 

"Sure. Sounds fun." Andrew answers, pulling away from my house. "Want to get food?"

"Definitely, I did not have time to eat before you got here." 

"That's on you, you woke up late."

"Fuck off, Hearn." 

"Okay, okay. What do you want to eat?"

"Literally anything. Please. I'm starving." 

We pull through a drive through and grab a couple burgers, fries and drinks.

The two of us sit in the parking lot, and I munch on my fries, looking over at him. 

"Kinda wish you would've talked to me in First Year." I murmur, and he meets my gaze. 

"Yeah? Why?"

"What do you mean, why? I've had so much fun this summer. It's weird to think I could've been talking to you for the past three years."

"I am so glad I didn't talk to you in First Year." He laughs, his green eyes flashing emerald in the sun. "I was such a fucking dork, oh my God. You would've hated me." 

"That's not true!" 

"I don't mean that against you, Max. But I was a nerd. Really, I was so annoying."

"Yeah, well I was a mopey little emo twelve year old." I snicker, and he glances at me, raising an eyebrow. 

"See? It's good we talk now, it's like fate."

"Oh God, Andy, I'm going to act like you didn't just say that." I sigh, and he smiles. 

"Fair." He hesitates for a second, before looking up at me. "I.. uh.. I didn't talk to you before because I liked you." He murmurs, and I stare at him for a second, struggling to find the right words to say. "I have since I was twelve, but you didn't really notice me, so I decided to stay quiet. Then, last year, I saw the opportunity to talk to you, and.. I took it." 

Instead of replying, I grab his shirt and draw him into a kiss for just a few seconds, before he pulls away, eyes wide. 

We stare at each other for just a second, my cheeks flushing a soft pink. 

"I-" I start, but he kisses me again, cutting me off. His hands rest gently on my neck and his breath is warm on my face, opposed to his cool fingers. 

His lips are oddly sweet but salty, the taste of the grease still on his skin. Andy breaks into a cocky grin, his eyes meeting mine.

"So that happened."

"Oh my God, you are such an idiot." I push him back, smiling, a swarm of butterflies filling my stomach. 

"What.. what are you thinking about?" He asks quietly, and I shrug.

"Not much. The kiss was pretty good, but a bit short for my taste." I smirk.

"Shut up, it was nice!" He retorts, and I laugh, nodding. Andrew hesitates, his gaze focused on his lap."Hey Max?" He says, glancing at me for a second, and I nod. "What now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Between.. us. What do we do now?" Andy asks, and I shrug.

"I'm assuming we'll figure it out, right?" I reply. "I mean, we have a few weeks left of summer. Then we have school, it's.. not like we're short on time."

"I.. yeah. You're right." 

"Come on, let's drive."

"How far are we going?" He asks, wiping off his fingers and grabbing the steering wheel. I shrug as he pulls out of the lot. 

"Not sure. I'll tell you when to turn around, how about that?"

"I don't trust you, you'd have me drive to Canada if you wanted." He snickers, and I roll my eyes, running a hand through my hair. 

"You would totally go to Canada with me, Hearn. Not to mention, you'd totally drive to Oregon, too." 

"Don't tempt me with that." He breathes, and I raise an eyebrow, smirking a little. 

"Come on. It would be so much fun."

"We can't go to Oregon!" 

"Why not?"

"It's one in the afternoon!"

"Then what about tomorrow?" I ask, looking over at him, a tiny smile on my face. He pulls the car over and meets my gaze. 

"What's your plan, Davis?"

"My parents leave at five in the morning, yours leave pretty early too. If you pick me up at seven, we could be in Ashland by twelve. Then, we could spend a couple hours there, leave around three, and be back by nine. Both of our parents get home around eleven. We could totally pull it off." I breathe, and he looks away for a second, sort of lost in thought. 

"What about traffic?"

"Oh come on, we both know we could get through it. Plus, we'd be back two hours early without magic. Worst comes to worst, we're a little late and we tell our parents we got caught up hanging out. It's a flawless plan, really." I say, and he grins. 

"What are we even going to do there?"

"I don't know, but come on, it would be so much fun and you know it, Andy." 

"It's not fun, it's borderline crazy, Max."

"And what about it? Come on, Andy!" I pause. "I wasn't really raised somewhere specifically, and we've been hanging out so much that.. I don't know, it'd be kinda cool to see where you grew up."

"That's... sweet, actually. God damn it, Max, I'm actually considering it." He shoves me slightly, and I raise an eyebrow, expectant. "Fuck it. Okay, I'll go." 

"Really?!"

"Yeah, we'll go tomorrow." Andy sighs, and I laugh, eating a few fries. 

"Fuck yeah, this is going to be great!" 

"If I get caught, I'm kicking your ass, Davis."

"Oh I'm sure you will." I smile, and he playfully slaps my arm. "Now get back on the road, stupid."


	20. Chapter 18

CURRENT DAY

I walk to the Slytherin side of the Quidditch field alone, shoving my hands in my pockets, the wind cold on my face. 

"Uh.. hey, you're the new girl from Ilvermorny, right?" I turn around, seeing a girl a little older than me. She's tall and slim, with an elegant poise and posture, her skin a deep, russet brown, and her black hair hanging in shorter curls that frame her face. She's quite beautiful, with a shy expression and gentle gaze.

"That's me." 

"I'm Angelina Johnson."

"Max Davis, it's nice to meet you." I say, extending a hand that she shakes. 

"You too." She says, and I notice her Gryffindor tie, growing confused. 

"You're.. Gryffindor, why are you headed towards the Slytherin side?" I ask, and she smiles just a little. 

"The guy I like is on the Slytherin team." She says, and I smile. 

"Got it. I only know the Weasley twins, and.. they're both on the team. Could I stand with you?" I ask, and she nods. 

"Of course, I'd love to." I follow Angelina into the stands, and glance over at her. 

"So, what year are you in?"

"Fourth, aren't you too?"

"Yeah. I think I've seen you in a couple classes."

"Yeah, I don't talk very much in class." She says, and I nod. 

"Makes sense." I pause, and then grin. "So. Who have you got your eyes on?" Angelina blushes a dark crimson, and glances at the ground. 

"Fred Weasley. Since last year." 

"Aw! George is a close friend of mine. You ever talked to Fred?"

"Not really. Kind of terrified." 

"You know, I can totally introduce you after the game." I say, and she meets my gaze. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, of course. I have to meet George anyways." 

"Madam Hooch releases the Quaffle, and the game begins!" Lee shouts, and I look out to the field, players already moving so fast it's difficult for me to pay attention. 

But I see the twins hanging around the chasers, George sticking closer to Ron, Fred staying a bit farther off. Then, I find Ginny on her broom headed straight for them. Draco and Harry both are higher up, looking out for the snitch. 

Within seconds, I watch Slytherin score ten points, the stands erupting into applause, Angelina whooping, throwing her arms in the air. 

"Is your house going to be happy you're going for the other team?!" I giggle, and she shrugs. 

"Who knows? I like this team better anyways!" She shouts, and I burst out laughing. 

Turning back to the team, the second I focus on the game, Gryffindor scores another ten points. 

Before I have time to react, I watch Draco and Harry burst into action, the two of them pushed up against once another as they dive, headed for the bright flash that I assume is the snitch. For the next few minutes, though I hear the teams score back and forth, I can't seem to pull my eyes from the two seekers. 

Draco quickly pulls ahead, leaving Harry far behind and getting closer and closer to the snitch. 

But Harry speeds closer, gaining on Draco as the two weave in between the stands and onto the field. 

I watch as Draco gives Harry a final shove, snatching the snitch out of the air with remarkable ease. 

"Malfoy's caught the snitch, Slytherin wins the game." Lee sighs. Our side of the stadium erupts into cheers, the Gryffindors across the field groaning. 

"Come on, we should go quickly, before it's a nightmare to get out." Angelina whispers, and I nod, glancing out onto the field once more. 

Draco holds up the snitch victoriously, a grin on his face, his hair swept back from the wind. His eyes meet mine, and his smile fades just a little, a strange look on his face that I can't seem to figure out.

I turn and follow Angelina quickly out of the bustling stands and down the rickety wooden stairs. 

"Are they always that short?" I mutter, and she shakes her head. 

"Oh, no. Only when Slytherin plays. Malfoy always catches the snitch within ten minutes, it's just kind of a fact." She says, and I stare at her, shocked. 

"Damn, that's.. incredible." I mutter. 

Of course Draco's the best seeker. Why wouldn't he be?

"Yeah. Everyone says he's the best seeker this school's seen in years. Still hasn't gotten to his head, though." She says, and I smirk. 

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Oh, definitely. Just surprising, I guess. But here's where we can wait for the twins." We stop outside a while, and I glance over at Angelina. 

"Thank you for hanging out with me during the game."

"You don't need to thank me, I had fun for the whole five minutes." She replies, laughing lightly, and I grin. "Plus, you're going to be here for a while, and it seemed like a good time to introduce myself."

"I'm glad you did." I reply, and a the first Slytherin player opens up the doors. 

I glance over, instantly recognizing Draco, who walks out from the field, his black broomstick in hand. He runs his other hand through his dripping hair, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and his pale eyes looking strangely bright in the sun. 

He looks.. handsome. Really handsome.

He's met by a handful of Slytherin girls, all of whom force laughter and bright smiles, falling over their own feet to get a sliver of his attention. He seems a bit overwhelmed, a small smile on his face as he nods slightly in response to all of them. 

I find myself watching them for a while, a gross, ugly feeling starting to rot in my stomach, making it hard for me to focus on anything else.

I try to push away the feeling, repulsed at myself for feeling anything but anger towards him. I feel like I'm losing my edge or just losing myself. I can't let myself forget what he did, no matter what he does now, or how attractive I think he is.

Not that I think he's attractive. 

I don't think he's attractive. 

He isn't.

I'm tired, I barely slept. I'm not thinking straight, that's all.

Draco glances over, meeting my gaze, and the blood rushes to my cheeks. I immediately look away.

But I see the twins walk out, holding their broomsticks and dripping with sweat. I nudge Angelina, and she's looking just a little pale and quite a bit nervous, fidgeting with her fingers under her cloak sleeves. 

"George!" I grin, running over and leaping into his arms. His clothes are soaked in cold sweat, and he holds me so tight that I lose the air in my lungs. When he finally sets me down, I look at both of them, and Fred gives me a shove. "That was a hell of a game, you guys."

"That's an understatement, Ilvermorny." Fred grins. "That was the best game of Quidditch anyone's ever seen."

"It was done in less than five minutes." I snicker, and he sighs. 

"So?" 

"Nevermind. Anyways, both of you, this is Angelina. We met before the game." I say, and Angelina smiles hesitantly, waving. 

"Nice to meet you."

"You too." George replies, and Fred struggles to find any sort of response, his cheeks flushing even darker.

"You good, Weasley?" I smirk, and he nods, attempting to compose himself. 

"I'm fine. Nice to meet you." He exhales, and I look at George, repressing laughter as best I can. He takes the other route and snorts, shoving Fred roughly. 

"Idiot." He mutters. 

"You two are a mess. Want to meet Angelina and I in Hogsmeade in an hour or so?" I ask, and Angelina turns to me, about to protest.

"Sounds great, we'll be there." George answers, and Fred clenches his jaw, walking off. Angelina sighs, and George breaks into a cocky grin, ruffling up my hair and following after his brother.

"Why'd you do that?" Angelina whispers, alarmed. 

"Don't worry. There will be four of us, it'll give you two the opportunity to talk a little." I reply, the two of us starting down the hall and running into the Gryffindor team, all of them looking a bit disappointed. 

Luna meets Ginny, taking her hand and leading her down the hall, and Harry meets up with Ron and Hermione. 

I find Wood, and glance at Angelina. 

"Hang on." I jog over to Oliver, stopping in front of him. "Good game." I say, and he shrugs. 

"Didn't it go the way you wanted it to?" He asks, motioning at the scarf George gave me. 

"Well.. technically, I.. You know what, that's not why I'm here." I say, and he raises an eyebrow. "You like George." His face goes pale, and he looks like he's about to reply when I continue. "I'm going to meet Fred and George in Hogsmeade in an hour. You should come."

"I.. but.. you-"

"I'll see you there, Wood." 

AN HOUR LATER

"Oh, there they are." Angelina says, and I glance up, my mouth suddenly bone dry. 

The twins are dressed in similar striped tees, both different colors, and jeans, but that's not what upsets me. Draco is by Fred's side, dressed head to toe in black, with nice pants, a turtleneck and blazer. 

Never stopped dressing just a little too nice, I guess. 

"Hey, I.. I didn't-" George starts, trotting over. 

"It's fine. The group of girls that follow him around like a celebrity can keep him company."

"Just so you know.. he's pretty oblivious. When it comes to all of the flirting, I mean."

"How? There are, like, a hundred girls tripping over their own feet so he notices them."

"He's really blind when it comes to girls and dating and all that."

"Oh Jesus."

"Yeah."

"Also, you should know. I did tell Oliver we're here." I say quietly, and he stares at me with wide eyes. 

"I'm sorry, you did what?!" He hisses, and I smirk, seeing Oliver across the way, looking around and standing awkwardly.

"Hey Oliver!" I call, and he glances up at me, smiling at George and making his way over. 

"Max, I swear to God, I am going to kill you." George whispers, and I smile. 

"This is for the best, plus, you were never going to talk to him on your own. Go on." I shove George towards Oliver, and he gives me a dirty look, the two of them talking quietly. 

"Hey, Fred." Angelina says, and he smiles. 

"Hey."

"I don't know if we've met, I'm Draco." Draco interjects, and she nods, beaming.

"Oh yes, I know. I'm Angelina, nice to meet you."

"You too."

"Anyways, what were you doing cheering on Slytherin, Johnson?" Fred asks, raising an eyebrow, and she smiles, her eyes shining as she looks up to meet his gaze. Draco hangs back by me, and I suddenly realize that we're the only ones without a date.

God fucking damn it, you've got to be kidding me. 

Fred couldn't have just invited someone else?

"There's a beater on Slytherin's team, he's got to be the best one I've ever seen."

"The best one you've ever seen, huh? Sounds pretty great." Fred replies, and I roll my eyes. 

"Dear God, what have I done?" I exhale under my breath.

"I don't know why Fred even invited me." Draco mutters, and I can't help but snicker. Draco glances at me, surprised that I even recognized he was here. I bite my lip, trying not to laugh harder.

"He was horribly awkward around Angelina like an hour ago. Like, he genuinely looked like he was having a seizure. Think he was hoping you being here would help, but.. now they're just flirting, and you are.. very obviously third-wheeling." I say, and he hides a smile. 

"Wow. Thank you." He replies dryly, and I smirk.

"Oh calm down, I am too. Made the mistake of telling Oliver we'd be here, so I really boxed myself into a corner. But seems like they're all having a good time."

"Isn't Angelina in Gryffindor? The team we just defeated?"

"Yeah, but so is Wood."

"Fair point." He breathes, and I notice the girls behind us shooting me dirty looks and glares every few seconds. 

"Don't think your entourage wants you talking to me." I murmur, and he looks confused. 

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh my lord, you really don't know?" I ask, and he doesn't respond, staring at me like I've lost my mind. "George wasn't kidding, you really are clueless, huh?"

"Hey." He protests, and I roll my eyes, glancing at the Slytherin girls walking slowly a few yards behind us. 

"Draco, there is a group of girls who have been following you around since the match." I whisper, and then smirk. "Look behind you, moron." He turns and then freezes, a few of the girls waving and smiling flirtatiously. Draco turns back to me, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "They've been there for a while, too." 

"Seriously?" He mutters, and I grin, nodding.

"Oh yeah. Not to burst your bubble or anything, but you know, it's just the beginning of the quidditch season. Probably going to be a while before they leave you alone."

"Dear God, don't remind me." He sighs, fumbling around and picking at his fingers. 

"I mean.. they.. uh.. they're not there for no reason, you know." I stutter, and he meets my gaze. "You caught the snitch in five minutes, it.. was pretty impressive."

"Thanks." He says softly, and I cross my arms, looking away. "I'm assuming you're the one that's trying to get Fred and Angelina together, though."

"Obviously. Not sure if I'm already regretting it, but.. She was cheering for the opposite house for him. Even I wouldn't do that for someone I liked, she's dedicated." 

"Never? You'd never go for another house, even if your girlfriend or boyfriend was on the team?" He grins, and I manage a smile, shrugging.

"Have to be a really great girlfriend or boyfriend." 

"I guess that's fair. You're here for the whole year, right?"

"Yeah. Turns out knocking a guy out is pretty bad."

"No way." He says, smirking, and I laugh. 

"Fuck off, Draco." I say. 

"So what happened, then? Did you two never really get along, or what?"

"Oh, no. Opposite, actually. We were together." 

"Wait, what?" Draco asks, eyes wide.

"Yeah. We were kind of a thing over summer. Found out he was a dick, though, and cut it off. Then, he made a stupid remark about my friends, and I.. beat the shit out of him."

"Not surprised, you were always pretty overprotective." He says, and I raise an eyebrow. Draco shoves his hands in his pockets, glancing away for a second. "It wasn't super obvious since we were always in your house or outside somewhere. But whenever I talked about my dad or how other kids treated me, you always got really defensive of me. Even if you didn't know much about what happened, or what was going on with my parents, you were just convinced that.. that I was a good kid." He murmurs, and I fall silent, holding back tears. 

I thought he was a good kid. There was nothing back then that would've shown or proven otherwise. All he ever did was support me. 

But then I quickly learned he didn't care. 

Doesn't mean he wasn't a good kid. 

Just means that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

"I don't think I ever thanked you for that." Draco says softly, his light hair falling into his eyes, but his hands wasting no time to tuck it quickly back into place. I glance at him, meeting his oddly intense gaze, chewing on my lip. 

"For what, just being your friend as kids?" I mutter, and he nods. 

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"You were the only one that actually talked to me for a really.. for a really long time." Draco murmurs, and I clench my jaw.

"Then what, you just decided you didn't want anything to do with me?" I breathe, and his face falls. 

"Max-"

"I think I'm gonna go." I whisper, turning and stalking off, tears slipping down my cheeks as I head back to the castle.


	21. Chapter 19

FOUR YEARS AGO

THE END OF AUGUST

I see a flash of his dark clothing on the driveway and hop to my feet, sprinting down the steps and throwing the door open. 

Jogging down the porch steps, I leap into his arms, breaking into tears. 

"Hey." He whispers, his voice cracking just slightly, and I don't reply. "How've you been, Boots?"

"I'm going to miss you so much." I breathe, ignoring his question, and he's silent for a little while, his face buried in my neck. "How long do you have?"

"Just a couple hours today. Til four." He murmurs, refusing to let me go, his hands knotted up in the back of my t-shirt. "Have any plans for us?"

"No, I.. I haven't really been able to think." 

"That's alright. Maybe we can just stay here today, you know?"

"Sounds good to me." I say, finally pulling away and walking back into the house by his side. His fingers find mine, gripping my hand tightly. 

Shutting the door behind us, I look up at him, wiping off my cheeks. 

"What do you want to do?"

"Maybe we can just a movie or something." He murmurs, sitting on my couch. I sit beside him, and he grabs my shoulders, pulling me closer. I laugh lightly, glancing at him, his arms tight around me. 

"What are you doing, Bleach Boy?"

"We have two more hours and then I won't see you for six months. I just want to hang out with you." He whines. I roll my eyes, cuddling closer to him. 

"Could've just said you needed a hug, stupid." I mutter. Grabbing the remote, I turn on the television, the sound a sort of buzzing in the background of my infuriatingly loud thoughts. My mind travels away from the screen, only focusing on his arm around me. 

I don't know what I'm doing to do without him this next year. we've spent almost every day together, and I have to go right back to being alone all of the time. 

I'd be lying if I said I'm not dreading it. 

I don't miss being alone.

But I'm happy for him, Draco's going to be alright, and that's all that I should be worried about. He gets to go to that special school, he'll be okay.

That's all that matters.

I glance over, catching his eyes stuck on me. 

"You okay, Bleach Boy?"

"Not sure." He mutters, glancing away and picking at his fingers in his lap. 

"Draco? What's on your mind?" I ask, and he keeps his gaze focused everywhere but me. "Draco?"

"Are you going to be okay?" He whispers.

"What?" I breathe, growing confused, and he finally looks up at me, his eyes full of tears. 

"Are you going to be okay? Here, alone, all of the time?" He asks quietly, and I fall silent, almost unable to find a response. 

"I.. I'll be fine, okay? You don't.. you don't have to worry about me." I stutter. But I know the answer isn't yes. Life is going to be miserable without him, I know nobody here. 

He can't know that, though. I don't need him checking in on me all of the time or worrying that something's wrong, I'll be fine. I'm always fine, it'll be alright. I don't need anybody breathing down my neck. I can handle myself. 

The next two hours are fairly quiet. Neither of us want to break the fragile silence, and I can't seem to speak without fearing I'll burst into sobs. I don't want him to see me like that, he's already worried about me, and I don't want him to. There's nothing I want less than to stress him out. 

But faster than I'd like, the two hours is up. I watch the clock slowly click to 4, my heart sinking to my stomach as I look over at him, standing up. 

"It's four." I breathe, and he gets to his feet, hesitating. 

"I've gotta go." He whispers, and I nod, trying to speak. "I.. uh.. I brought something for you, actually." 

"What? Draco, you didn't have to-"

"Shut up, Boots." He says, smiling slightly, and I roll my eyes. Draco takes my hand and gently sets down a necklace. At the end of the silver chain is a rough, marbled clear and crimson pendant, the end coming to a point and the top wrapped in wire. 

"This is beautiful, where did you get it?"

"It used to be my mother's. She hasn't worn it in a while and gave it to me, like, a year ago."

"She has no idea you're giving this to me, huh?" I smirk, wiping my cheeks, and he nods, laughing softly. 

"Oh, yeah, no idea. But she said to give it to someone who means a lot to me. So... it seems fitting.. you get it." He murmurs, and I blink away tears. 

"Thank you. Can you help me put it on?" I say. Draco nods, taking it from my hand. He steps behind me and clips the necklace around my neck, the metal shockingly cold on my skin. "I'll never take it off."

"You.. you'll.. uh.. you'll text me. Right?" He stutters. I meet his gaze, nodding. 

"Of course I will." I whisper. "I don't think I'd survive if I never talked to you." He simply nods in response, tears slipping down his cheeks. 

"You know you mean everything to me, right?" Draco chokes out, his hands shaking just slightly, and I fall silent. "That's never going to change." I pull away a little, taking his hands in mine. 

"You'll come back for Christmas?"

"Of course."

"Good." I pull him into another hug, sucking in my breath before I pull away. "Now go on. You have to leave early tomorrow." 

"Max-"

"Go on, Bleach Boy." I smile, wiping my cheeks, and he smirks, ruffling up my hair. 

"Love you, Boots."

"Love you too, now go on, stupid." I remark, and he grins, walking off with his head hanging low. 

I shut the door, locking it and breaking into sobs as I head up to my room. 


	22. Chapter 20

CURRENT DAY

THE NEXT MORNING

"Dude, oh my God! Max, wake up already!" Someone says, violently shaking my arm, and I force myself to open my eyes. 

"What is going on?" I whisper, my voice groggy and my eyesight blurred. 

"It's me, I came to visit!" The voice starts to sound more and more familiar, and I rub my eyes, sitting up. Quinn grins at me, and I stare at her for a second, surprised. 

"It's only eight, you couldn't wait a few hours?" I whine, and she shoves me before pulling me into a tight embrace. "I missed you so fucking much."

"I missed you more." Her hair hangs just above her shoulders, freshly cut and dyed a lighter golden brown, highlighting her rosy cheeks. As for her outfit, it's just a lime green cardigan and khaki pants, a slim strand of pearls around her neck. She looks annoyingly nice considering it's eight in the damn morning. 

But I look around, realizing she's alone in my room.

"Where the hell is Jane?"

"She got super sick, she's been in her dorm for a couple days. Though she got treatment, she's still not feeling great and didn't want to give us her cold." 

"Damn."

"Yeah, I know." She sighs, and I glance over at the clock, giving her a look.

"It's only eight and it's Sunday! Damn it, Quinn, couldn't give me another hour?"

"Dude, it's one in the afternoon back at Ilvermorny. Get your ass up, I want to see everything here." She says, and I sigh, getting to my feet. 

"Fine, fine. Give me a second, I'll get dressed and then introduce you to everyone." I mutter, stumbling to my feet. I snatch some random stuff out of my closet and then head into my bathroom, almost slipping on the shining tile.

Throwing on ripped skater jeans, an oversized tee and a zip up hoodie, I run my fingers through my hair, breaking up the small knots. Brushing on a little mascara, smudgy winged eyeliner, and an unholy amount of blush, I head back out into my room. 

Quinn looks around my room and then quickly looks me up and down. 

"You look... pretty okay." She says, hiding a smirk, and I give her a shove. 

"Let's go." I lead her out into the Hufflepuff common room, finding it completely as I trot down the steps and past the deserted couches. I'm not surprised everyone's sleeping. Wish I still was too. "How the hell did you know which one was my dorm, anyways?"

"Zolia told me. I asked her last night if I could come and surprise you. She apparated right out here so I wouldn't get lost. Still almost did. You said this place is huge, you really weren't fucking kidding."

"You've got no idea." I mutter, coming out into the hallways, shoving my hands in my pockets. "You hungry? Breakfast is probably out right now."

"Not necessarily, but I could go for some coffee."

"Great, me too." I sigh, walking through the open doors. The room isn't by any means full, but a handful of students sit at every table talking amongst themselves. 

We make our way to the table on the far left and sit down. 

"This place is so much bigger than Ilvermorny." Quinn breathes, and I nod. 

"Yeah, it's genuinely fucking ridiculous. I'd get lost every day if it wasn't for my friends. Actually, speaking of, hey Neville!" I call, and he smiles, walking over and sitting across from us. His cheeks are flushed, and his curly hair is frizzy from the fog in the air. "Were you out by the greenhouse?"

"Yeah. Those flowers are still growing, and I still have to take care of them." He looks a little nervous as he scratches his eyebrow, his gaze darting from Quinn to the table and back again. "I'm Neville." He murmurs, his hand still hovering above his cheek as he struggles to keep himself from fidgeting more.

"Quinn, nice to meet you."

"You too. I assume you're here to visit Max." He says, grabbing a steaming golden muffin, and she nods as he gently breaks it into two pieces, smearing butter on both halves. 

"Yeah, she woke me up. Asshole." I mutter, drinking coffee as fast as possible without burning every inch of my mouth, unable to actually taste the drink. 

"Hey!"

"You were shaking and shouting at me!"

"It was out of love." She sighs, smiling, and I roll my eyes. 

"Sure. You wanna come with us for the tour, Neville?" I ask, and he shakes his head. 

"I'd love to, but I've got a ton of work for Potions."

"Oh, do you need any help?"

"Nope, after you yelled at Snape, he's been going a bit easier on me." He grins, quietly walking off with the muffin in hand, and Quinn turns to me, raising an eyebrow. 

"What did you do, Max?"

"Our teacher was being a dick. I just said something, that's all."

"He's like Vane, I presume?"

"Oh yeah."

"Makes sense, then." She mutters, sipping her own coffee. 

"Ilvermorny!" I turn, seeing George stalk in, walking over and sitting right beside me. Quinn glances at me, confused, and I can't help but laugh. 

"George, this is Quinn, from Ilvermorny. Quinn, this is George." 

"Nice to meet you." He says, and she nods. 

"You too."

"Anyways, I came to find you." George says, and I raise an eyebrow. 

"That's not a good sign. What'd you do, Weasley?"

"Snape may or may not be on the way with purple hair, and I'm going to need you to cover for me and say that you've been with me for the last few nights. He has no idea we did it a week ago." I can see him putting a bit too much effort into trying not to laugh, his cheeks flaming red and a tight smile on his lips, his hands balled in the sleeves of his robes. "So what do you say, can you do that?"

"Of course I can, but what about Fred?"

"I don't know, he'll probably figure it out. Not my problem." He says, breaking into a cocky grin, and I snicker. 

"Dude, he's your twin brother. You did the prank together, it is one hundred percent your problem." 

"Shut up, shut up, Snape is coming." George hisses.

"Then act natural." Quinn adds, breaking into a big smile. "It's so cool here, but really. What are the Quidditch games like, I mean, you said that the teams are a bit more competitive here." George stares at her in surprise for a second, before melting into a grin, running a hand through his hair. 

"Yeah, no kidding." He says naturally. "It's wild, honestly. Things can get pretty complicated, especially since we have the best team hands down."

"Modest." Quinn smiles, and I look at George, nodding, seeing Snape approach out of the corner of my eye. 

"Quinn is the seeker on the Pukwudgie team at Ilvermorny." I say, and he nods. 

"Well I'm-"

"Weasley." Snape growls, and I glance over, choking on the coffee in my mouth and forcing it down, fighting off the fits of laughter by burying my face in a napkin. 

Snape's hair isn't just a dark indigo, it's neon purple. It's the brightest fucking purple I've ever seen in my entire life. 

Somehow still greasy, though. Guess I shouldn't be surprised by that one.

"Yes sir?" George says, and I manage to pull myself together, pressing my lips in a together to try to stop myself from smiling. I seriously doubt it's working, and suddenly understand why George was having such a hard time earlier.

"Where were you last night?"

"George was with me, Professor. He's been helping to tutor me in Transfiguration. We've been studying a lot lately, almost every night the last week, actually." I say, and Snape turns to George, arching a brow.

"Is that true?"

"Yes, sir. She's unbelievably bad at Transfiguration, it's remarkable, really." George replies, and I shoot him a dark look, a bit offended. He meets my gaze, shrugging and scrunching his nose just a little, and I let out a small groan. 

"And who are you?" Snape hisses, glancing to Quinn. 

"Quinn Reyhart, sir. I'm visiting for the day from Ilvermorny." She answers, and Snape looks back at George. 

"Where is your brother, Weasley?"

"Which one? Charlie's still in Romania, Bill's off with some girl named Fleur, and as for Percy-"

"Where is Fred Weasley?" Snape says, cutting him off, and George shrugs. 

"Not quite sure, Professor." With that last reply, Snape storms off, and George glances at Quinn and I. "That was a magnificent fake conversation."

"Thank you, we've had a lot of practice." Quinn says, scarfing down a few bites of a stray croissant. 

"Wait, what?" George mutters. "Max? Did you used to prank your Professors?"

"Yeah, she almost got expelled last year for setting off fireworks." George's jaw drops to the stone floor. "You really just didn't tell them that?" Quinn mutters, and I shrug. 

"Didn't seem that important."

"How is not impor-" George starts. 

"Weasley! Weasley, where are you?" Cedric jogs in, and heads over. "I just saw Snape, what the hell-" He falls silent, and Quinn turns, meeting his gaze. Both of them stare at each other for just a second, until Cedric seems to jolt back to life. "Uh.. Hi. You must be Quinn." He says, and she nods, glancing at me and grinning. 

"Max? Do you talk about me?" 

"He saw a photo while helping me unpack, don't flatter yourself. This is Cedric, he's a year older and in Hufflepuff too." I say, and Cedric sits next to her. 

"Nice to meet you." He says, flashing a flirty smirk, and she flushes a baby pink. 

"You too." 

"Also, guess what? You're both Seekers, so that's pretty cool." I add, and they both share the same, goofy smile. 

"That's.. That's awesome." Cedric says, and Quinn nods eagerly.

"Yes, truly fascinating." George says dryly, sarcasm soaking his every word. I can't help but snicker. 

"You're on the Quidditch team too, dumbass." I whisper.

"Yeah, but she didn't know that." He mutters, and I sigh, getting to my feet. 

"Well, Quinn, I've got shit to show you. When are you going back?"

"Couple hours, Zolia wanted me to be back before dinner there."

"Damn. Alright then, come on."

"Hang on!" George walks over, draping an arm around my shoulders. "I can help Max give you the tour."

"Sure, yeah, no problem." I sigh, and Quinn looks like she's about to speak, raising an eyebrow. "He's currently trying to get a boyfriend, just has physical touch as a love language."

"You're not complaining." He mutters, and I smile.

"I know. I don't mind, weirdo." I sigh, and then glance up, seeing Fred and Draco round the corner, snickering. Both of them stop in front of us, Fred still grinning, but Draco's smile fading just slightly. 

Like usual, Fred's outfit is a mess of color and patterns, his hair, like George's, tucked back nicely. Draco, on the other hand, is still cloaked in black, his hair kind of shaggy and hanging low into his eyes. For some reason, his freckles are super noticeable today. He looks a little cute.

No, he doesn't. He looks fine. Just fine. 

Not cute. He's not cute.

He's an asshole. 

"You're idiots, why the hell did Snape just come and interrogate us?!" I exclaim, and Fred shrugs. 

"Doesn't matter. I assume you covered for George?"

"Obviously. He covered for you?" I retort, motioning to Draco, who nods. 

"Obviously." Fred replies, and I can't help but grin.

"What the hell did you do to his shampoo, that was so fucking bright." 

"Malfoy made the spell, ask him." He says, and I glance at Draco, who shrugs, a tiny smile creeping across his face. 

"I was fucking around, I genuinely have no idea what I did." He mutters, and George snorts. I try my best to hide my own smile. 

"Wait, Malfoy?" Quinn asks, her head having snapped up at his name. I watch her stare at him out of the corner of my eye, but refuse to acknowledge it.

"Um.. yes." He responds quietly, looking back at me, an unreadable expression on his face. I look away hastily.

"So am I the only one wondering who this is?" Fred asks. "Don't tell me another one of you Americans beat up someone, come on, Max."

"I can speak, you know." Quinn says, raising an eyebrow. Fred snorts. 

"I can see how you two are friends. I'm Fred Weasley."

"Yes, George's twin, I noticed. I'm Quinn Reyhart." Quinn hesitates, looking at Draco. We both know she already knows exactly who he is, though.

"I go by Draco." He says quietly.

"Pleasure." She mutters. Her smile fades to a cold look, her eyes set on Draco and not budging for a solid few seconds. "You guys all friends of Max, or-"

"That might be a stretch." I snicker.

"Hey, we're friends!" Fred protests. 

"Sure. Whatever you say, Weasley. Anyways, we're showing Quinn around, see you both later." George and Quinn start off as Fred heads into the Great Hall, but Draco pauses in front of me, his gaze trained on the ground. 

"She knows. She has to." He mumbles, and I draw in a deep breath. 

"Yeah, well. She's my best friend. I tell her everything."

"Max-"

"You can't be mad at me, Draco. It's not like we're friends or something."

"I'm not mad, Max." He murmurs.

"Then what do you want, Draco? Don't you think you've done enough?" I breathe, refusing to let tears fall in front of him. 

I won't let him see me cry again. I won't let him see me vulnerable. I can't.

"She's the only one that knows what happened, if that's what you're worried about." I add.

"So she hates me, then."

"Undoubtedly."

"Do.. uh.. Do you?" He stutters, and I hesitate, struggling to find a response. 

"I don't think I could ever hate you." My voice breaks ever so slightly, and I glance away as he looks up at me. But I clench my fists, speaking through a clenched jaw. "Doesn't change what you did, though."

"Max, I need to-"

"I really don't want to hear it." I murmur.

"I understand that, I-"

"No, I really don't think you do." I say, cutting him off once more, and he finally falls quiet, a strange annoyance brewing in his eyes. "You don't understand, you have absolutely no fucking idea what you did to me, because we haven't spoken for three years. You wanted space back then, and I had no choice but to give it to you. Now I want space, and I'm giving you no choice but to give it to me. So just stay the fuck away from me, alright?"

"Max. Please. Just five minutes, that's all that I'm asking." He begs. I shake my head. 

"I wasted too much of my time worrying and crying over you. I'm done, Draco, so please. Please just let me... just let me get over this." He doesn't say a word, refusing to show any response, so I shove past him, trying to catch up to George and Quinn and walking down the steps to the Slytherin common room.


	23. Chapter 21

FOUR YEARS AGO

The first few months without Draco were by far the worst. I had to readjust to being alone all day every day, and though I'd like to say it was a smooth transition, it was anything but. 

I could never get my mind off him. It was a constant question of if he missed me as much as I missed him, if he was thinking about me, or if he was happy he left me behind. 

But then I got used to being alone again. It didn't take as long as I thought it would, in complete honesty, it was just a couple weeks tops. I got used to playing music all of the time or always having the TV on just so it wasn't deathly silent in the house. I know Draco is happy at Hogwarts, that school is all he ever talked about. I'll see him soon, anyways. He loves me. He wouldn't turn his back on me now.

THE END OF DECEMBER

I hear a knock at the door, bringing me out of my odd daze, my head heavy on my shoulders.

"Just a second!" I call, jogging down the steps. As I walk over slowly, I hesitate, thinking about the TV playing and the overly clean room. I've cleaned twice in the last two weeks, it's really a horrible new coping method, but whatever. Better than letting the house turn into a gross hellhole.

I head over, unlocking the door and swinging it open, playing with the pendant around my neck. But the second I see his face, I freeze, the breath taken from my lungs. 

"Hey, Boots." Draco grins, and I stare at him for a second, trying to think. He's dressed in what I assume is his school uniform, black slacks and a white button up, his green and silver striped tie hanging loosely around his neck. "Wow, was I crazy to think I'd get a warmer welcome than that?" He asks, smiling just a little, and I throw my arms around his neck, tears filling my eyes. 

"I thought you wouldn't be back for a few days." I whisper. Draco quickly lifts me off the ground, holding me in his arms so tight I can barely breathe. 

"I just got home yesterday. I.. I was going to wait, like.. like I told you, and see my mum, but.. but I missed you too much. So.. I thought I'd just come." He murmurs, his voice breaking with every few words. 

"I missed you, Bleach Boy." 

"Come on." He walks inside, carrying me with him and kicking the door shut before he sets me down. Draco simply stares at me for a moment, his hands resting on my shoulders, his grip a bit stronger than usual.

"What are you doing?" I smirk, and he shrugs. 

"You just.. You look older." 

"You remember that it's been five months since we've seen each other, right?" I smile, and he rolls his eyes. "People get older with time, you know."

"No way, really?" Draco says dryly, and I nod. 

"I know, it's crazy." I answer, and he jogs over to the kitchen, sitting on the stools. 

"Come on, it's been five months and we've only been able to text. We've got so much to catch up on, Boots."

"Bleach Boy. We hung out for an entire year. You know better than anyone that I have absolutely nothing going on ever. Nothing's happened for a year and a half, Draco."

"Right, right, sure, whatever. Come on, Max, nothing interesting happened? Nothing at all?" He asks, and I hoist myself onto the stool beside him, shrugging. I try to think for a second, the only memories in my head revolving around this house, being stuck in my room, leaving to go on walks alone, getting dressed to go absolutely nowhere and wishing Christmas would come sooner. Running a hand through my hair, slight knots catching on my fingers, I struggle to take in a deep breath.

"Okay then. My parents still work at the same construction job. They're still gone all of the time. They leave right before I wake up and usually get back an hour or two before I go to bed. I see my parents a while on weekends, when they're not on calls or planning meetings." I sigh, and then hesitate, chewing on my lip, the slick taste of cherry Chapstick filling my mouth. "And.. I.. I've missed you. Like, every day. That's all that's happened."

"Ma-" He starts. 

"But come on. You've been at some crazy school for a while, what's that been like?" I ask, and he stops for a second, glancing at the ground, his hands returning to their usual fidgeting in his lap. 

"You've been okay, right? Being at school here alone?"

"Don't tell me you thought I'd die without you." I say, and he manages an echo of a smile, shaking his head, his hair falling into his face. 

"No, I knew you'd be fine." He says. 

"Well then? Five months of stuff, Bleach Boy. What's been going on?"

"I don't know. A lot, I guess." 

"Wow, that really is the worst answer." I grin. 

"Alright, alright." He says. "Let's go to your room." I snicker, trotting up the steps, and hearing him behind me. 

"Because it's all a big secret, yeah?" I say, and he snorts. 

"Shut it, Boots." He gives me a shove and files in behind me, swinging the door shut and slipping off his sleek black shoes. Draco sits on my bed and leaning up against the wall. I sit beside him. 

"So? Come on, give me some highlights."

"Honestly, I really texted you everything. I didn't want to wait to tell you about everything." 

"I'm happy you did, because I'm glad we kept in contact, but now I just.. I have no idea what to talk about." I sigh, and he smiles. 

"That's alright, though. I'm just happy to see you, Boots."

"Yeah, I'm happy to see you too, I-" I stop, and then break into a grin, smothering laughter. "You know you're my best friend and you mean, like, everything to me, but what in the hell is that?" I sigh, pointing at his feet. His two socks really could not be more different, his left a bright purple with white polka dots, his right a pastel blue with magenta stripes. 

"What, do you not like it?" A somewhat cocky tone sweeps over his voice, and I glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. 

"What did they do to you at that magic school?" I ask, and he snickers, running a hand through his tousled hair, smoothing it back and out of his face. "You've always dressed rich kid perfect, and now you wear mismatched socks? Who are you and what have you done to Draco Malfoy?" I breathe, and he meets my gaze, shrugging. The sun coming through the window causes his somewhat invisible freckles to slowly darken, more significant on the curves of his nose.

"I don't know. It started with a stupid joke, a couple friends of mine won this bet and had control over my outfit for a day, and... I guess I liked the weird socks thing. So.. I just stuck with it." He looks at me one more time, his eyes scanning mine, his smile slipping away. "You really don't like it, though? Because I-" Draco begins, a nervous look on his face. 

"You kidding? It's super weird, I love it." I smile. Relief floods over his features, and he nods just once, forcing a smile back. "Just surprised, that's all. You used to be kinda stiff when it came to your clothes." 

"Damn." He mutters, and I grin, shaking my head. 

"It's not bad. You look quite nice. Just.. looked a little stiff, like I said. I like the wacked out socks, though. It's unique." 

"Unique?"

"Yes, unique. Like your hair." I sigh, and he gives me a shove. 

"I like my hair!"

"I like your hair, too. Makes it easy to spot you in a crowd." I giggle, and he laughs softly, rolling his eyes. 

"You're an idiot, Max."

THE BEGINNING OF JUNE

I swing the door open, breaking into a grin.

"Boots!" He sweeps me into his arms and holds me tightly, lifting me off the ground.

"I missed you so much, Bleach Boy."

"I missed you more." Draco ruffles up my hair, smirking, and I give him a shove. He laughs softly, nestling close to me for a second. The scent of his cologne surrounds me like a cloud, a sweet citrus mint, something I never thought would be comforting.

My mother walks over, offering a smile.

"Hey kiddo, it's been a while."

"Hey Ms. Davis." He answers.

"You know you can call me Alice." She corrects, and he smiles.

"Right."

"How are you, how's boarding school?" Right, that's what we told her it was. Just plain, old, normal boarding school.

"It's good. Glad that it's finally summer. How's everything here?"

"Great, actually, thank you. Good to see you."

"You too."

"Okay, this is boring, come on." I breathe, grabbing his arm, and he grins, following me outside. Once we're a few yards away, I glance over, meeting his gaze and raising an eyebrow. "What's magic school been like?"

"Magic school? Why are you calling it magic school?" He snickers, and I grin.

"That is literally what it is."

"You know the name, I've told you the name."

"That makes it seem cooler, and it's literally a castle where you wave magic wands and lift feathers."

"That was the first week, like a year ago-"

"But it's true." I add, and he rolls his eyes.

"Technically, I guess." He mutters, and I smirk. "Muggle school's the same for you?"

"No, actually. Kind of drastically changed these last few months, my teachers decided to make my life miserable."

"Seriously?" He asks, eyes wide.

"No, of course not." I smile. "Nothing's changed in two years, idiot. Nothing's new." I sigh, and he shoves me a little.

"You're a moron."

"I know, I know." I breathe, and he pulls me into a hug suddenly.

"I missed you, Boots." He murmurs, holding me gently, and I pull him closer.

"At least it's summer, right?" I whisper. "It's been so long since I've seen you."

"But.. but it's okay, though. We still have three months." He says softly. Three months. Just three months, and then I move back to America. Then I might not get to see him for a few years, at least. Tears fill my eyes, and I bite my lip. "Hey. Don't cry, it'll be alright." I glance up at him, and he gently takes me back into his arms. "It's okay." I burst into tears, and he holds me a bit tighter. I lean into the crook of his neck. Draco presses his cheek to my hair, staying quiet for a little while, letting me cling on to him so tight it almost hurts.

"I just.. I just don't want to lose you."

"You'll never lose me, Boots. Ever." He murmurs. "Okay? No matter what." I nod, and he wipes away my tears.

"Okay." 

"But anyways, I don't think I've seen your mother in over a year, so.. that was a little odd." He asks, and I roll my eyes, sniffing and ignoring the remaining tears in my eyes. 

"Yeah, I feel like I haven't seen my mother in over a year, too." I smirk. 

"Max-" He starts, a worried look written across his features, and I give him a look.

"I'm fine, it was a joke, you know. But come on, we've only got this summer left. Gotta make the most of it."

"Definitely." He starts down the path and I stop in my tracks behind him.

"Wait, wait! I want to see your socks for today." I smile, and he rolls his eyes, cuffing his pants quickly. 

"Why do you do this every time we see each other?" He asks. 

"It's just important to me." I mumble. I glance down, looking to his feet, seeing one sock covered in tiny crimson mushrooms, the other a sage green dotted with cacti. The two of them together work in a way, but are also unbelievably chaotic.

But I guess it's just like the two of us, then. Unbelievably chaotic, but we work.

"Happy now?" He asks, raising an eyebrow, and I nod. 

"Definitely. Now come on, Bleach Boy. Let's get going."

THE END OF AUGUST

"I can't believe you go back to school tomorrow." I sigh, and he nods. 

"Me either." Draco answers. "When.. uh.. when do you go back to California?"

"Saturday after next."

"Oh. Wow, that.. that's really soon." He murmurs, and I nod, forcing down the lump in my throat. 

"Yeah. Yeah, it's just around the corner."

"Come on. Let's go for one more walk before I have to leave." Draco says. 

"Yeah, alright." I follow him outside, walking slowly by his side down the pathway to the birch trees. "Can't believe this is one of the last times we're going to do this." I whisper, and he takes my hand in his, squeezing my fingers gently. 

"Hey. If you think for a second that I'm not going to come and find you after I graduate, you're daft, Boots." He murmurs, and I glance up, meeting his gaze. 

"You'd do that?" I breathe, stopping at the birch trees, glancing out at the empty, vibrant green fields.

"Are you kidding? We've been close for two years. Of course I'd do that, I just.. I just wish I could do it sooner." Draco says, and I pause, running my hands over his, the callouses on his palms rough under the pads of my fingertips. I pull away after a second, resting my arms at my sides.

Friends. We're only friends. 

"You.. you're still going to text me, right? Even.. even though you'll be all the way in America, we.. we won't lose contact?" He stutters, and my eyes fill with tears as I meet his gaze. His eyes shine a lighter, icy blue in the sunlight, scanning mine anxiously. 

"Draco." I choke out, tears sliding down my face, flushed pink. "I'm never going to forget about you, and I'm never going to stop caring. That won't change just because I'm moving away." He pulls me into a tight embrace. I can hear his rough, uneven breathing in my ear, his tears dripping on my shoulder. 

"I'll come back the next two weekends."

"You don't have to do that for me."

"Yes, I do." Draco whispers, pulling away and reaching up, taking my face in his hands. "You mean everything to me. I can't just watch as you stay here for two weeks and not come say goodbye one more time."

"Okay." I murmur, and then stop, looking up at the birch trees. 

Two years, we've been friends, and I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that someone like him even spends time with someone like me. I still can't comprehend why he would care so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset, he means absolutely everything to me. I just don't think I'll ever understand why he risks so much for me. 

But I force a smile. "I have an idea." 

"Yeah? What's that?" He asks, wiping his cheeks hastily with a sleeve, leaving a soft pink smudge on his cheeks from the rough fabric. 

"You have a knife or something?"

"Yeah." Draco hands me a pocketknife with a sleek black handle and beautiful, gleaming blade. 

"Do you mind if I wreck it a little?"

"I don't really care."

"Great." Flipping it open, I walk over to one of the trees and start carving in both of our initials. 

DM + MD

"Wow. Cheesy." He remarks, and I grin, laughing lightly and nodding. "But come on, if you're going to be cheesy, you have to add one of those stupid hearts."

"Draco Malfoy." I gasp dramatically, looking back at him. "Who knew you were such a cringey dork."

"Excuse me? You're the one who started this!" He remarks, and I snicker. "Give me the damn knife." Opening my hand, he takes it from me, etching in a heart around the two names. "We're both morons now. We made the cringey garbage together." He says, looking back at me with an entrancing smile and winking. I raise an eyebrow. 

"That's not going to work on me, Mr. Malfoy. Maybe those magic friends of yours, though."

"Shut up." He smiles, then glances at his watch. "We.. have to head back." He says, his smile fading instantly, and I nod. 

"Alright, let's get going." I sigh, starting back down the path, Draco trailing behind me. 

"When does your plane leave?" He asks, and I sigh. 

"Like one in the morning. I'll have to leave around 11."

"Oh God."

"I know. It's horrible, but.. It'll be fine. I'm just glad I'll see you again before I go." I murmur, and he nods, tugging me into his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." Draco pulls away, looking into my eyes, his hair almost blinding in the direct rays of sunlight. "I'll be back in a week, okay?"

"You really don't have to do that-"

"Max, I.. I don't know when I'm going to see you again after you move." He says quietly, and I bite my lip, trying my best to stop myself from crying. "So don't worry too much, alright? It's only a week." I manage a bit of a smile. 

"Go on, then, idiot." I say, and he grins. 

"I love you."

"I love you too. But go. Your father's going to kill you if you're late." I reply. Draco stops, and jogs back over, laughing and kissing my forehead. "Ew!" I giggle, giving him a shove. "Go, stupid!"

"See you in a week!" He calls, turning around and breaking into a jog.


	24. playlists!!

okay okay so-

initially, i kind of had a max davis vibes playlist but it just was NOT what i wanted it to be AT ALL so!

i reconstructed a playlist just for her and i'm making one for just draco, as the last one kinda was a mix of the two and that was just not matching up, it was kind of chaotic and that's not it

so here's max's:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1oewb7YDTKFf1pqjoNEZ4z?si=fdcbfce727c4477d

her playlist is very much pop-punk, bad bitch, don't fuck with me music. it's a little more aggressive but represents her strong, take-no-shit personality and that's exactly what i wanted. it's pretty much done, i might add a few here and there as i go, but yeah!

and here's draco's:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7xFpmzBbgdDMHPnNgjMhlM?si=19e7a9ee632a46cf

literally JUST started it and taking a bit longer to kind of fit the vibe of MY draco, yk? he's not canon draco in any way shape or form so it might take me a tad longer to really construct a nice thorough playlist so plz don't be mad, just give me a day or two lol! but he definitely has much sadder, like dark kind of numb music taste, and i wanted that for his character and just general vibe because he's still draco. nice draco, but, well, draco. granted, though, i also really just LOVE the idea of draco listening to cute indie music too?? so it's probably just gonna be the fuckign epitome of bisexuality with some darker and indie music kinda meshed together lmao cuz i really can see him loving ricky montgomery, beach bunny, conan gray, and seafret :)) (at least my version of him, anyways, it just sounds so fucking cute, let me fantasize about this plz) 

cuz yk, as u have seen, this dracos MUCH different that canon draco, but lord do i have plans for that department later---

;) 

so yeah! it kind of provides more of an insight into how my characters choose to think so i hope u like it, plus it might help for the days in which you're waiting for a new chapter to come out 

like usual, luv u guys sm! happy valentines day ( to all the singles especially, u dont need a man, theyre disappointing. but if u want a woman i have zero judgements, theyre superior in every way and u go get urself a gf ) have the best day, go drink some water and take care of yourself!

-q<3


	25. Chapter 22

CURRENT DAY

I jog up the steps and head inside, seeing Quinn and George in the Hufflepuff common room, and I sit across from the two of them. 

"So does he know?" Quinn asks, motioning to George and looking at me. I nod. 

"Yeah, he knows."

"What's going on?" George asks. 

"You know about Draco." Quinn mutters, clenching her fists, and he nods just a little. "Fucking asshole, god! Just thinking about it makes me want to kill that son of a bitch!"

"Quinn, you know I don't like him either, but please don't kill Draco." I breathe, pushing away tears. 

The only problem is, I don't know if I don't like him.

I'll explain.

My anger is indescribable. It doesn't have a shape or a distinct movement, it's just there. But the one thing, the only thing I've always known about it is that I'm aware when it's there. It's not fucking invisible or compacted or repressed, it's vividly there. I can't ignore it, even if I want to.

It was there with Andrew.

That's what got me sent here.

But it's never been there with Draco. Not three years ago, not a few months ago, not last week, and not today.

My anger has never been that unfillable void of fiery rage, it's always just been this sickening, nauseous, overwhelming pain.

I do know the shape of my sadness. It's rounded, it's whole, almost transparent. It hurts so badly, but I can see right through it. I can see it's center, I can clearly see the eye of the storm, where everything is perfectly calm.

Draco is the eye of the storm.

Everything surrounding him is misery. Every minute, moment, and memory influenced by sadness is physically and mentally agonizing.

But he is the serene few minutes that I get within that pain.

I hate that I feel that way.

I despise that he is my calm and my peace and my quiet.

I wish that I could get rid of that, I wish that I could escape that he's been that comfort for me since I was ten, but I just can't.

Quinn loathes Draco for what he did to me, still, what I told Draco was the truth. I could never hate him.

But I don't think I'm even upset.

I think I miss him.

"Fine. I guess I won't kill him." Quinn exhales, rolling her eyes. "Can I at least yell at him? Like once?"

"No! Unless the opportunity presents itself in which he needs to be yelled at, then no, Quinn, you cannot yell at Draco." I mumble, picking at the edges of my fingernails, and she falls quiet for a second. 

"Max?" She murmurs, and I look up at her and George. Their eyes are on me, both of them wear the same, concerned expression. 

"What is it?" I mutter. "What's up with you two?"

"You alright, Ilvermorny?" George breathes, and I nod. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, we should show Quinn around." 

"Alright. I'll wait outside the common room and figure out our game plan." He says, and I shoot him a confused look as he trots back outside. Quinn gets up, sitting next to me and staring at me, expectant. 

"What?" I sigh. 

"What's going on with you and Draco?"

"Nothing's going on between us. It's like you said, he's an asshole." I say, running my hands through my hair. "I've been avoiding him since the second I showed up at this place. Why are you getting all suspicious?"

"Because I saw him stop to talk to you less than five minutes ago, Max." Quinn whispers. "So what's really going on?" 

"Nothing, really."

"Max-" 

"Let's go, Quinn. I've got stuff I wanna show you." I say, getting to my feet, and she stops in front of me. 

"Max, you can't lie to me."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I know. You never have, it took me forever to even find out what happened between you two, but something's off. I know you. You're going to school with the guy who ditched you. I'm sorry you're upset and you're shut down. But Max, I'm the one who was there to help you pick up the pieces. He's the one that broke you. I don't want you getting hurt again, I remember what that was like."

"And what, you think I don't?" I breathe, my eyes filling with tears. 

"That's not what I meant and you know that."

"Quinn, I appreciate you looking out for me. Really, I do. But it's fucking confusing. Being around him and seeing him everywhere is making me lose my mind, and I don't need you to point that out, because I promise you, I know. I love you. You're my best friend. But I just need to handle this on my own for now, okay?" I murmur, and she hesitates before nodding. 

"Okay. Then let's go, just..." Quinn trails off, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Just promise me you'll tell me if you need me. I know he meant a lot to you. I just don't want you to shut down and shut everyone out to try and deal with all of this alone."

"Okay. I promise, I won't."

"Great." She says. We both walk out of the common room, and Quinn freezes, blushing bright red. 

"Are you-" I start, and then break into a grin. George stands next to Cedric, a proud look spread across his features, while Cedric stands rather awkwardly, a dorky smile plastered on his face.

"I was just telling Diggory that he should come with us for the tour, don't you think, Max?" George says, raising an eyebrow, and I nod enthusiastically. 

"Oh yeah, that seems like a great idea."

"He really doesn't have to-" Quinn starts, and I give her a look. 

"Don't be rude, Quinn." I say, forcing down a bubbly laughter, and she clenches her jaw, looking at the ground. 

"Yeah, let's go." She mutters, and I glance at Cedric. 

"You know, she's the best seeker at Ilvermorny."

"Yeah?" He asks, glancing at Quinn, who shakes her head. 

"That's not tr-"

"Come on, Quinn, don't be modest. You won Pukwudgie every game last year." 

"I mean-"

"That's incredible." Cedric says, stepping closer her side, and she smiles just a little as we start down the deserted hallway. "I would win every game if Malfoy wasn't so damn good."

"Wait, what?" She breathes. Quinn looks to me, a strange expression on her face, and I force myself to look away. 

"Draco Malfoy." George adds. "The best seeker this school's seen in years, he's on Slytherin's team. He catches the snitch in less than ten minutes every time, it's bloody brilliant."

"Damn." Quinn mutters, rolling her eyes. "Of course he is." 

"You should've seen the fucking game yesterday." I say, my voice having a bit of hard edge I wish it didn't. "He caught the snitch in less than five minutes, I swear to god. It was fucking crazy."

"It's like that a lot." Cedric sighs. "Never even get a shot to catch it with him playing."

"Yeah, you wouldn't get a shot with me playing either." Quinn says, flashing a flirty smile, and Cedric grins. 

"You think so?"

"I know so." 

"Really?"

"Oh, definitely. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"Maybe I shouldn't have invited Cedric." George whispers, and I smother laughter. 

"Yeah, and it's probably just going to get worse. But hey." I weave my arm around his. "I don't mind just spending time with you."

"Max, we're giving her a tour of the entire fucking school, this flirty bullshit is going to last hours." George whines, and I shoot him a dirty look. 

"You invited Diggory!" 

"I didn't think it'd be this bad, they were so awkward earlier!"

"Hey, she's going back in a couple hours, this will only happen every few weeks or months, depending on if I can visit back there."

"Wait!" He stops, and Cedric and Quinn stop ahead of us, glancing back, confused. "If you go back to Ilvermorny to visit friends, you have to bring me, I want to see what it's like there!"

"It's pitiful." Quinn says dryly, and I snicker, nodding. 

"Yeah. Agree."

"Still, you've got to introduce me to everyone."

"There's one other person, it's just Jane." I say.

"What about all your weird class acquaintances, you've got to have some of those?"

"Not necessarily. Everyone there kind of just saw me as the weird social reject. I didn't really talk to anybody. Plus, Quinn and I were always doing stupid shit, so they avoided us even more so they wouldn't get caught up in it all."

"Makes sense, but still. I want to see it all. Please, I beg you, Max."

"I mean, fine, I won't stop you. I just don't want you getting your hopes up for something that's really not that great."

"I won't." He says, breaking into a grin. "Anyways. Do we really have to take a tour? This place is huge, and I'd rather just hang out with your friend."

"It's up to you, Quinn." I say. She shrugs in response. 

"I'm cool with just hanging out, it's not like I'm gonna get sent here."

"Hey!" 

"Sorry, sorry." She snickers, shoving me. "Where are we going to hang out?" 

"We can just go to my room." George offers, and I nod. "Great. Come on." 

"So you're in Max's year, right?" Cedric asks behind us, and George and I both listen quietly to their conversation, turning around and headed back in the direction of the Slytherin common room.

"Yeah, fourth. What year are you?"

"Fifth, like George."

"Okay, got it. How long have you been on the Quidditch team?"

"Since second year. How about you?"

"Oh, I've been Seeker since first year. Youngest one in school for almost fifty years." Quinn answers. "No big deal."

"No big deal? That's incredible! You really must be amazing, I-"

"Maybe if they kiss now, the flirting will stop." George says, a little too loud, and I hear Quinn and Cedric fall deathly quiet. Looking back, both of them are blushing, neither of them meeting the other's gaze.

"You absolute moron." I say, and George snorts. Taking Quinn's arm and pulling her ahead, I walk by her side, trotting down the steps to the Slytherin common room. 

"Was it really that bad?" Quinn asks quietly, and I scoff, shaking my head. 

"Not in the least. George just flirts with the guy he likes by saying stupid jokes back and forth until he gets super awkward, he's no better."

"I heard that!" George calls. 

"But anyways, no, you're fine. Now come on, you've got to see it down here." I say, ignoring George and heading down into the common room. 

Quinn stops in her tracks. Her eyes are focused on the wall-length windows and the lake that lays behind them, her jaw on the floor. 

"Okay, hang on, this is in no way fucking fair." She mutters. "We get a dark, cramped series of dorms, and you guys get a whole ass room under a fucking lake? What the hell?!" 

"Yeah, I know, it kind of pissed me off too." I sigh, grinning, and she jogs over to the huge windows, staring out into the water. Cedric walks over, the two of them chatting quietly, and I turn a little, feeling someone's eyes on me. 

Draco glances at me, sitting with a textbook and some paper, his head tilted to the right ever so slightly. The second my eyes meet his, he blushes darkly, growing a little flustered and hastily looking away. His light hair falls out of place, hanging into his eyes, his face still a shocking pink. Draco stares at his book with an odd intensity, chewing on his bottom lip, almost refusing to look anywhere but the text. 

Despite the heat rising to my cheeks, I can't help but notice one thing. His feet are propped up on the other arm of the sofa, his pants lifted just a bit, revealing nothing but two drastically different socks. 

One looks just like Van Gogh's Starry Night, the slight swirls of navy blues and sunny yellows displayed under the hem of his slacks. 

The other is much more simple, just a lavender shade with small black hearts. 

He never stopped wearing two different socks. Not even after three years.

George walks to my side, and I shake myself out of my weird, nostalgic daze. 

"They are kind of cute, huh?" He whispers, and I glance at Cedric and Quinn. Diggory points at a few different things, explaining each creature quietly, and she nods in response, both of them sharing the same, sweet smile. 

"Damn, I wish someone would look at me like that." I sigh.

"Someone just was." He murmurs, glancing over to Draco and raising an eyebrow. I shoot George a dark look. 

"That's not funny." I hiss, clenching my jaw, but my stomach does a small flip. 

Draco was looking at me? Like.. that?

"I'm just telling you what I saw, Max."

"Whatever." I mutter. I stalk up to his dorm, waving over Quinn and Cedric. He follows after her, and George after the two of them. George sits beside me on his bed, Cedric and Quinn sitting on the floor. 

"So, what's it like here?" Quinn asks, glancing at me. "Miss anything about Ilvermorny?"

"I miss you and Jane. I'd say that's about it." I smirk, and she grins, nodding. 

"That's fair. This place really is beautiful." 

"Yeah, plus, I guess it's the small things. Like going to the greenhouses before class with Neville, or getting butterbeer in Hogsmeade. I miss parts of Ilvermorny, and I fucking miss seeing you everyday. But honestly... I love it here." 

"I wish I could come. I don't know if I could be that far from my family. Even though it wouldn't be hard for them to come here, or even get back there to them, still. I couldn't do it." Quinn's very close with her family, with a younger brother and both her parents in New Jersey. Whenever she goes back for break, she spends every second with them. But my parents have been disconnected since I was younger, so transferring here for the year has barely felt like any change at home. 

"That makes sense. We are across the globe." Cedric smirks, and she smiles, nodding. 

"Yeah, exactly." 

"Wait, actually, not to change the subject, but what are you doing for the Holidays?" George asks, and I shrug. 

"If I go back home, it'll probably just be sitting in my room, I don't know."

"What? That's so sad." Cedric says, and Quinn gives him an attempt of an inconspicuous look. He snaps his mouth shut, and I shrug. 

"It's fine. I don't mind, honestly, I'm not a big Christmas person." 

The only time I actually ever celebrated it in a big way was with Draco as kids. He insisted on giving me gifts and hanging out together, he couldn't believe I didn't do much for it in a big way, but it's never mattered that much. 

Especially since my parents barely even notice me when they are actually home.

"I've been trying to get Max to come home with me for the Holidays for years, but she just won't." Quinn sighs, and I shrug. 

"It's fine, come on, there has to be other stuff to talk about." I breathe, growing uncomfortable, and George nods. 

"So Quinn, kinda want to know more about you."

"Ask whatever you like." 

"How'd you and Max meet?"

"School, we met at the very beginning of First Year after we were sorted." Quinn says, and I bite my lip, thinking about how fucking depressing that day was. I was on the verge of tears the entire time, poor Quinn was the only one that noticed, and she stuck with me. 

I was crying about Draco. 

I wanted to tell him that I got accepted into Ilvermorny. 

He was the only person I could've told, and he wasn't there.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom." I murmur, getting up and stepping into George's bathroom, sitting on the floor and resting my head in my hands.

I need to get myself together. I need to stop letting my brain constantly wander back to Draco, I need to stop letting my life revolve around him and what he wants and his attitude.

Draco decided three years ago that I wasn't worth it, why should I spend any of my time wanting him to come back? 

The simple answer would be that I shouldn't. I shouldn't want him to come back.

And yet I find myself daydreaming about what those circumstances would be, and what he would say, and what it would be like to feel his arms around me just one more time. 

I want to loathe him the way Quinn does. I want to feel that rage, fury, and fiery resentment, and I want to be okay with the idea of shutting him out completely.

But I can't stop wishing we could go back to the way we used to be.

He was the first person in my life who I knew would mean something for the rest of time, and unfortunately, that hasn't and won't ever change. 

I catch myself in these daydreams. Maybe that's not the right word, though. They're all these twisted ideas in my head that he's sorry and that he didn't mean any of it, that he misses me and still cares. Everyone's done it with someone, maybe an ex-boyfriend or toxic friend, but for me? It's my twelve year old best friend I haven't spoken to in three years. 

The worst part is, I know it's going to be a long fucking time before I actually start to get past him. 

His stupid, bright blonde hair. His fancy, rich kid funeral clothing. His arrogant, cocky smirk. His cloud of freckles that darken outdoors. His striking, electric blue eyes that shine a soft, pastel shade in the sunlight. His rough, callused hands that were always unbelievably gentle. 

No matter what he does, no matter where we end up in the future, I know I'll never forget any of it. 

I can't tell you how badly I want to, though. 

Rolling the tip of a tissue, I stick it in my eyes, collecting the tears before they fall on my skin. Sucking in my breath and running the sink for just a few seconds, I compose myself, quickly running my hands through my hair and walking back out to the others. 

"What'd I miss?" I ask, sitting beside George, and Cedric looks at me, offering a smile. 

"Quinn was just telling us about school at Ilvermorny." 

"Got it." I reply, and George looks over at me, forcing a slight smile, trying to hide the annoyance resting deep in his dark eyes. 

"They will not stop flirting, I'm going to kill myself." He whispers, and I repress a snicker, looking at Quinn and Cedric.

"I was just telling him about Vane and how we used to prank him all the time." She adds, and George glances back at me. 

"Still a bit upset you just never told me about that."

"It didn't seem that important, I'm sorry, I'll include that next time I meet someone randomly."

"Good, you should." He grins, and I roll my eyes. "But fireworks, huh? What a basic prank."

"I was almost expelled for it!"

"Yeah, how did you get out of that, actually?" Cedric asks, and Quinn doesn't say a word, waiting for me to reply. 

"One of my classmates vouched for me."

"No way, someone random?" George asks, and I nod a little. "Who was it?"

"Same guy that got me sent here." I breathe, and they all fall silent, Diggory and George staring at me with wide eyes. George holds out a cigarette, raising a brow, and I smirk, taking it. 

TWO HOURS LATER

I walk out with Quinn to the center of the hallway, trying to hide tears. 

"I missed you so fucking much." I breathe, and she nods, wiping off her cheeks. 

"Weekend after this one, you can come visit Jane and I. It'll be the weekend, I'll talk to Zolia."

"Okay, deal." I answer, and she tugs me into a tight hug. 

"Your friends here are great." She says, and I snicker, pulling away. 

"You're just in love with Cedric."

"Am not!" Quinn mutters, slapping my arm. "Shut up!" I smile, and then glance up, my expression fading. 

Draco and Fred walk by the two of us, Draco's eyes almost instantly meeting mine, and just like always, he glances away, picking at his fingers quietly. Fred jogs over, grinning and ruffling up Quinn's hair. 

"Nice meeting you!" He says, and she shoves him off, laughing. 

"Moron!" She calls back, as he returns to Draco's side, snickering. Quinn glances back to me. She's quiet for a little bit, trying her best to find the right words to say. 

"What is it? You're acting strange." I murmur, and she tucks her hair behind her ear. 

"You're not okay, Max."

"What?"

"George and Cedric may not have noticed, but I did. It's Draco, huh?"

"Quinn-"

"I'm not going to say that I get it, or that I understand, because I have no idea what you went through, and I know you were close. But.. something's up with him, and something's clearly up with you, too."

"What does that mean?"

"He can't take his eyes off you. Every time we see him, or are around him, he's staring at and focused on you. You're just as bad, Max."

"I really don't want to talk about this."

"You know I hate him. I'm just.. I'm saying that.. it's clear that you don't. It's pretty clear he doesn't hate you either."

"Quinn. I really don't want to talk about this." I repeat, and she sighs, nodding and readjusting her top. 

"Okay, okay. I've just caught him staring at you three times now, Max. That's not.. super.. normal for people who just don't care anymore."

"Quinn." I exhale, and she nods again.

"Okay, I'll drop it. Just.. I love you. I'll see you in a couple weeks." She hugs me again, and glances down the hall after the two of them. "Well. Caught him staring four times." Quinn corrects, smirking, and I clench my jaw. Glancing in the direction of Fred and Draco, I find his face turned slightly, his eyes on me before he looks back to the floor. "Bye, hon."


	26. mini update :)

hey everybody ! got a ton of hits and a few kudos just after that last chapter so first of all, thank you. you genuinely do not know what it means to me. i was so nervous to publish it, and though its not a million reads or even five hundred, just the fact that the few of u out there love it just makes me wanna cry im so thankful for u :,))

but unfortunately, school is kicking my fucking ass. 

wish there was a cuter way of saying that.

there is not.

believe me, i tried to think of a different way to put it and came up blank.

like jesus christ why in the world do teachers not understand we're in a pandemic?? like i appreciate u trying ur best, but no i do not need five essays a week, lord help me

so i don't know how perfect my updating schedule will be? I don't want to push it off too much, but if it's not right on saturday, please dont be too upset, i really am trying to get these out to you as fast as possible but i also dont want just a ton of shit chapters, yk?

its always kinda disappointing when u wait for a chapter and its like complete shit and i dont wanna do that to yall

basically, what im trying to say is, it's kind of up in the air for a little bit. but i love u guys. im so fucking grateful for u and i really do have a lot planned, i swear to you i will not just stop updating. i will not be THAT author bc god knows ive been waiting for a few fanfics to update for over a year (knowing damn well they arent coming back so rip), and i cannot do that to other people on good conscience. 

so go eat a snack, drink some water, watch ur fav movie/tv show, and know that i will update eventually :)

and knowing my perfectionist ass self, it will probably be saturday, like usual 

but if its not, i just wanted to let you guys know in advance bc thats what u queens/kings/nonbinary royalty bitches deserve

sending love. 

-q<3


	27. Chapter 23

ABOUT ONE MONTH AGO

THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST

"Come on, come on, come on!" He whispers, and I jog down the steps and get into the car, shutting the door as quietly as I can. 

"You fucking idiot, you're like two hours early!" I breathe, and he nods, turning the steering wheel and speeding off. The street lights shine bright, even with the sun creeping up over the horizon, the clouds reflecting a beautiful, radiant pink and lavender over the rolling hills.

"I had to grab gas."

"So?! Hearn, it is five in the morning, I got up five minutes ago!"

"Hear me out, will you?" He sighs, grinning. I raise a brow, expectant. "We're driving up the coast, and we don't have to stay anywhere for long, but I was just thinking, you know, it might be nice to stop on the way back. The beaches here are cold as fuck, but at least it looks super pretty at night." 

"That.. that's actually a really good idea. Damn, it, why didn't you say that last night, then maybe I could've actually gotten ready! I look like literal roadkill." 

"I woke up around four, my parents got to work super early, and I just kind of thought of it, so I texted you."

"You're-"

"An idiot, yes, I know. But.." Andy grabs a cup from his door, handing it to me with a charming smile, his eyes shining brightly in the spotty rays of sunlight. "I did bring you coffee. It's not shitty coffee either, and I got an extra shot because I know that's how you like it. So maybe that makes it a little better." I can't help but laugh at his goofy smirk, and take it, the paper cup warming up my stiff, freezing hands. 

"Yeah, it helps. You better have some good music though, or this trip is fucked." 

"Your lack of faith in me is genuinely upsetting, Max."

"Then what've you got?"

"I don't know. Here." He hands me his phone, and I glance through his playlist, nodding a little. "You can look through it." 

"Okay. Duran Duran, Tears for Fears, The Police. Not bad, Hearn." 

"I know." He smirks, and I sigh, taking a sip of the piping hot coffee. 

"Give me the aux, though."

"What? Why, that's my favorite playlist!" Andy exclaims, and I nod once more, meeting his gaze for a second. 

"I never said it was bad, calm down. I'm just saying that for our current road trip, with the whole sneaking out, stupid teens vibe, it calls for different music." I search up my own playlist and press shuffle. Andy snickers. 

"Not surprised, of course you like Sir Chloe." 

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing bad, I'm not judging, she's great. You just definitely have that vibe, I guess." He says, and I roll my eyes, keeping my gaze out the window as the minutes start to slowly tick by. "I'd say we should play a game or something, but you seem perfectly happy staying quiet." Andy murmurs, and I look over at him, nodding. 

"Still waking up, too. The scenery's not bad up the coast, but if you want to talk-"

"No, that's alright. It's still early, plus, it's kind of nice. I'll let you wake up." He says softly, and I smile just a little, staring at him for a second. 

Despite it being so early, he looks fairly put together, his curly hair in tight coils, still damp and glistening. His eyes, usually a darker forest green, turn to a lighter sage, and he wears just a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He seems lost in thought, his eyes stuck on the road, his fingers tight around the steering wheel. Sometimes I forget how cute he really is.

ONE HOUR LATER

"Okay, okay." He laughs. "So what do you want to do, then, we've got over two and a half hours left."

"I know, I know."

"So what, come on, Max, you've got to give me something." He says, grinning, and I give him a look. 

"What does that mean?"

"You've been half awake and dozing off for so long, I just want to talk to you, you know."

"Cheesy."

"That's not cheesy, that's literally just enjoying your company, Max." He sighs, and I can't help but smirk, running a hang through my knotted hair. 

"Okay, then talk, idiot."

"About what?"

"You tell me, you're the one that wanted to talk."

"Jesus Christ."

"How about next year?" I ask, and he almost instantly grows uncomfortable, stiffening a little, his jaw tightening. 

"Uh.. It's still summer. We've got a while until we have to think about that, yeah?" He asks, and I hesitate before nodding. 

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, no problem." I murmur, taken aback by the strange panic on his face, but choosing to move past it. "How about Oregon, then? What are your plans, what are we going to see?"

"Okay, so. First, we're going to go to Lithia Park, it's super beautiful, we can go on a walk there." He says, the odd anxiety slipping away from his tense features. "Then we can go to the Downtown Plaza. My friends and I used to go there all of the time after school when I was a kid. Finally, Schneider Museum of Art because you always talk about loving art museums." He mumbles, and I glance at him, a bit shocked. 

"You.. remembered that? I only talked about it, like, once."

"Yeah, well, it was clear it meant a lot to you. Thought I'd set aside a little time to go." Andy whispers, shrugging just a little bit, and I smile. 

"Thanks. That sounds great. But I refuse to talk about stiff shit for the next few hours or the entire way home."

"Then let's have one of those deep, existentialist ass conversations, the ones you always beg me to have."

"You can't pressure existential conversations, they simply just happen, plus, it's six in the morning. Let's have one at ten, when we're almost home and thinking about every single thing in life that may or may not have meaning."

"You are so unbelievably weird." He grins, and I manage a slight smile. 

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Talk about some weird sport you like or something."

"You're actually going to let me talk about Quidditch?" He says brightly, and I shake my head, pasting on a sweeter smile 

"Oh.. uh.. no. I meant like basketball or baseball, or some other muggle sport you and your dad watch."

"Ugh, why can't I just talk about Quidditch? Why do you hate it so much?" He asks, and I fall silent for just a second. 

Draco never fucking shut up about Quidditch. I loathe that I still can't stand to talk too much about it or watch it very often because of him, and it's infuriating how much I still care. 

However, there's no way in hell I'll ever forget the countless hours he spent trying so desperately to explain it to me. I can't erase how many times he told me he wanted to be on Slytherin's Quidditch team in second year. 

He told me that it was his dream to be a Seeker professionally, and I just tried to act like I understood what he was talking about. But I was okay with that, I didn't mind that I didn't get it, and quite frankly, I didn't really care. I just liked seeing him so excited about something. It was rare for Draco.

And now?

Now I understand the brutal sport. I've been to a dozen games, I've even played as a Beater to help Quinn practice, and I didn't mind it. 

But I miss the days that I didn't understand Quidditch. 

I miss the days where I would simply smile and nod, play along and just try to keep the smile on his face.

I miss him. Badly.

I really wish I didn't.

"I don't like talking about it." I mutter. 

"Uh.. okay. I mean, that's fine, but.. is everything alright-"

"It's fine. I just don't.. I don't want to talk about Quidditch, okay?" I murmur, and he nods once. 

"I.. yeah. Okay. No problem."

A LITTLE OVER THREE HOURS LATER

"Alright, alright, Lithia Park." He announces, and I hop out of the car, taking a second to stretch, my bones cracking like popcorn from being stuck in one cramped position for five hours. I pull a cigarette from my pocket and light it, holding it between my lips and taking a drag. 

"Let's do this, Hearn." I breathe, and he snatches the cigarette from my mouth, grinning and jogging off to one of the pathways, a billow of smoke leaving a trail behind him. Breaking into laughter, I take off after him. "Asshole! Give that back, it's one of my last ones!" I cry. Chasing after him, we jog through the dense, foggy woods. Until I finally see him slow to a stop halfway across a bridge.

Coming up by his side, I take a few deep breaths, taking the cigarette back, his gaze focused out on the rushing water beneath us and emerald green trees, the dark sky only allowing small spots of sunlight through. 

Andrew appears completely lost in thought, his eyes vacant, his breath hesitant and short. A few small strands of hair fall into his clouded eyes, his teeth tugging on his bottom lip. 

I reach out and tuck his hair back, his gaze finally meets mine as my arm rests back at my side, my hands deep in my pockets. 

"Hey. You okay?" I murmur, and he seems to creep back to life, finally allowing a single nod. "What's wrong?"

"Just have a lot of memories here. Didn't think it'd affect me like this." He says shortly, running a hand through his hair anxiously. I can't help but grow concerned. 

The small fidgets, the light breathing, the hazy eyes. 

It reminds me of Draco. 

Way back when he would talk to me about his father.

But Draco was terrified of his father. 

So what on Earth is terrifying Andrew?

"Andrew? What aren't you telling me?" I ask softly, and he shakes his head slightly. 

"It's just.. I guess.. uh.. when I was a kid, I thought I'd be here forever. I'm happy with what I have at Ilvermorny." Andy stops, clearly struggling to come up with the right words to say, his eyes darting between splinters in the wood below our feet. "I'm happy with.. you, and.. I don't want anything to change. When we go back to school, I mean." 

"Things won't change just because we're going back to school, are you kidding?" I say, and he looks up at me, an odd look in his eyes that I just can't quite place. "You mean a lot to me. I don't want to lose you." Andrew pulls me into his arms, kissing me softly, his icy hand resting on my cheek.

"Okay." He replies, an echo of a smile spreading across his flushed cheeks. "Now come on, there's a path around the lake we should take, my friends and I would come before school all of the time." His hand takes mine, and he leads me down the bridge and onto a rough gravel path alongside the coursing river. 

ANOTHER THREE HOURS LATER

"So, what do you think? You saw it all, the park, the stoner filled plaza, the art museum. Are the results in?"

"You are such a dork, you know that, Hearn?"

"You never fail to point it out." He smirks, starting the engine as I click in the seatbelt. 

"I mean, yeah. I liked it. It was nice seeing your hometown." I answer. "But that park was beautiful, it was definitely my favorite." 

"Good to know, good to know." He replies, pulling onto the highway, the staticky radio buzzing in my ears. 

I find myself lost in misty thoughts, staring out the window at the bustling streets, the rundown homes but bright atmosphere. It's a lovely area, full of life despite the overcast temperatures and a strong sense of community, even among complete stranger. I'd be lying if I said I knew what it was like to grow up in an area like that, or any atmosphere even vaguely similar.

"What's on your mind?" Andy asks, and I glance at him, shrugging. 

"I never got to grow up in a specific area. It just.. it just sucks, I guess. I've never really had one place that was my home, I've just been stuck in huge houses, alone. I have no clue what it's like to live somewhere like this, with tons of friends and family, I've always just been by myself."

"There wasn't one place that meant the most to you, out of every place you've lived?"

"Wiltshire." I answer automatically, and my heart sinks slowly to the depths of my stomach, aching with every deep breath. "That was the only place that had.. emotional.. significance." And it sure as hell wasn't because of that shitty, pristine house. 

"Was it the wizard you knew there?"

"I.. What?" I exhale, surprised.

"When we first started talking, you said you know someone who goes to Hogwarts. You guys are close friends, huh?" He asks, a hint of nervousness in his tone, and I hesitate before nodding. 

"Oh.. yeah. Yeah, we.. we're real close." I murmur, using every last bit of energy to push down the tears that threaten to fall on my cheeks. 

For some fucked up reason, part of me likes to pretend. 

I like to pretend that his phone was broken, that he lost it, that it was taken and the memory card erased.

I like to pretend that it wasn't all bullshit.

I like to pretend that there's some fucking possibility that Draco Malfoy still cares about me, even though I know damn well he couldn't care less.

Why can't I get him off my mind today?

"How long have you two been friends?"

"I was ten when we met. He was eleven." 

"Oh wow."

"Yeah. It.. it's been.. a long time."

"You miss England?"

"Not necessarily, just him. I haven't.. I haven't seen him since I was twelve."

"You miss him a lot. Don't you?" He murmurs, and I nod once.

"Yeah, you've got no idea."

"Do you still.. keep in contact? Like... do you text him a lot?"

"Not really. We kind of lost touch." 

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." I mutter. 

I'd say it's nobody's fault, but that would be a lie. 

It's Draco's.

BACK IN FERNDALE, AROUND 9:30 P.M.

"I told you we had time to stop at the coast!" I exclaim. 

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. My bad, we could've stopped."

"Damn it."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I really don't want this day to end." Andrew sighs, stopping at a red light. I break into a smile. 

"Then buy me some food."

"Hey. Use the magic word." He says, and I stop, raising an eyebrow. 

"Jesus, tell me you're kidding." 

"Come on, Maxine. Just one little word, and I will take the next left and get us some fries and milkshakes." He grins. I repress a sigh, refusing to answer his ridiculous request. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want a chocolate shake right now." 

"Oh fuck you." I snicker, shoving him roughly. "Fucking Christ, how old are we?"

"One word, Max." He repeats, and I roll my eyes. 

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please buy me food." I hiss, and he grins, nodding. 

"Sure." He hangs a quick left. "It really was that easy."

"You're a complete fucking idiot."

"And you're stubborn as hell, we both have flaws." Andy snickers, pulling into the drive thru and rolling down his window. "You do want your usual though, right?" I nod, smiling softly. 

I like Andrew's company. I like him around, I like holding his hand and hearing his laugh. 

But there's something empty about us. 

Something absent. 

Maybe I expect every subsequent relationship to have that same loving, whole quality that Draco and I's friendship always had. Yet, at the back of my mind, I know why they don't. 

I can't help but want every relationship to be just as good, and when it's not, I lose hope almost instantly. I want a powerful, easy connection, something that doesn't require the hours of overthinking of a single text. I want the type of friendship that doesn't need incessant conversation, structure, or plans like Andy usually wants. 

I just like someone to be there, by my side. That's it.

Andy's here. Technically. 

Nevertheless, there's always going to be that tiny part of him that's absent. It's missing, as if he's keeping that sliver of himself just out of my reach, and though I love his whole 'head in the clouds', teenage-movie naivety and innocence, it's also the one thing about him I'm not quite sure if I can handle. 

Especially since he can't just tell me what he wants. 

Draco and I had simplistic, sometimes even silent communication; a change in stance or pause in a sentence was all we really needed to know if the other was elated or distressed, calm or furious. 

But with Andy, a single smile could have too many meanings. 

I feel like I don't know what any single one of those meanings are. 

I feel like I don't know him in general. 

I just spent the day touring his hometown, so what the hell is going on and why am I just now sensing that something is off between us?

And yet, despite that off feeling, I don't want a single thing to change between us. I don't want to lose him, I meant it when I said that earlier. I haven't felt this way about someone since Draco. 

Or at least I think that's what we are. 

He hasn't talked about it and almost refuses to bring it up. 

But we're friends, and we're close. We hang out almost every single day, I don't know what my life would be without him, and I don't know what this summer would've looked like without the hours we spent together. 

"Hey, Max. Your shake is melting." His voice drags me out of my haze, and he holds the drink out in front of me. I take it in my hands, the paper cup cool in my hands as I take a tentative sip. "You seem tired, you've been kind of out of it for a little while now."

"No. No, I'm fine, really. Just might need to head home and watch a movie and get to bed. Is that okay?"

"I.. uh.. just.. sure. Yeah, I.. guess, no problem." He stutters, starting the car slowly. I notice his cheeks just a tint paler than they were a split second ago, but choose not to question it. I can't even handle my own issues right now, how would I be able to handle his too? "I'll get you straight home."

We creep along the roads, the street lights illuminating the cracked, rough pavement, the moon so bright it almost hurts my eyes to stare. 

Draco told me that he used to talk to the moon about things late at night. He said that whenever it felt like even he didn't understand his own thoughts, at least he could still talk to the moon about whatever it was plaguing his mind.

I can't say it's a bad idea.

It seems like the only option I have at this point, it's not like I can talk to my friends or parents or even Draco.

"We're here." Andy murmurs, and I snap up, looking outside and nodding once. 

"Well, thank you for driving, I had so much f-"

"Max." He breathes. I stop, immediately sensing a shift, his mouth set in a hard line and a grim look resting in his eyes. 

"Yeah?"

"We just need to talk. Before we.. go back to Ilvermorny, I mean." He murmurs.

"I.. okay. Sure, is.. Is everything okay?" I stutter, worried.

"Yeah, it's fine, I just.. I just need to tell you something. I can't.. I can't put it off anymore."


	28. Chapter 24

FOUR MONTHS AGO

THAT SAME NIGHT

"Andy? You're scaring me, what's going on?"

"I just.. I can't.. I can't keep it a secret anymore, and-"

"Andy." I murmur. "What's going on?"

"My... my friends don't know that we've been hanging out this.. This summer." He stutters. "Nobody does."

"I.. they... What?" I whisper, and he meets my gaze.

"I wasn't sure how to tell them, and it never really came up, so-" He begins.

"Yeah, god forbid anyone finds out you've been hanging out with me." I hiss, and his eyes widen as he shakes his head quickly, his hair falling into his face.

"No, Max, that's not-"

"Then what is it, Andy? Are.. are you ashamed of me or something?"

"No, of course not-"

"Let me fucking rephrase." I clench my fists, tears brewing in my eyes, glancing at the soft orange light shining down on the broken pavement. "Are you going to tell your friends you know me?"

"I.. I don't know. Probably.. probably not." He murmurs, and I look down, a tear sliding my cheek, my breath stuck in my throat.

"So you are ashamed of me."

"That's not true-"

"If you weren't ashamed of me, you would've told your friends three months ago." I turn, starting back towards my house, and he grabs my wrist roughly.

"Max, please. I just.. I really like you, I-"

"Oh shut the fuck up, Andy!" I shout, wrenching my arm away, a dark, smoky anger filling the newly created cavity in my chest.

"Max-"

"Don't!"

"Max, I don't want to lose you." He says quietly, and the fury builds even higher, my hands shaking as it's finally let loose. 

"That's the best you can come up with? You don't want to lose me, are you fucking serious?!"

"Max, listen to me, I-"

"No, you listen to me, Andy." I breathe, and he meets my gaze. "If you ever cared, if you ever actually gave a shit about me, then you would've stopped this. You would've cut this off and ended it, because you care so fucking much about what everyone thinks about you that it tears you apart."

"Please, Max-"

"I don't care what you have to say or what you want to tell me. I don't give a single flying fuck, actually. It's been three months, Andy. Three months, we hang out all of the time! What did you think, I was just going to be your dirty goddamn secret back at school, sneak out to smoke with you every night after everyone else went to bed?! Go fuck yourself!" I snarl, hot tears carving crimson lines in my flushed cheeks.

"I don't want to lose what we have. I.. I'll do whatever you want to make up for it, I-"

"You can't make up for it, Andy." I whisper. The rage begins to recede, falling back and pushed deep into the pit of my stomach, an aching, throbbing sadness taking it's place. "You can't go back and fix what you did, and.. And we both know you're not going to tell your friends now. I won't be your secret fucking girlfriend, I won't do it to myself."

"Max.."

"You mean so much to me, Andy." I choke out, and tears glimmer softly in his eyes. "I.. I actually thought we were close. But you can't even admit to your friends that you're speaking to me, you.. You're not the person I thought you were."

"Please, I-" He starts.

"Do not ever speak to me or my friends again." I growl, and he falls quiet, eyes widening. "If you even look in my direction, there'll be hell to pay. Stay the fuck away from me, Hearn." Storming inside, I slam the door shut and lock it, pulling off my boots and stalking to my room. 

Turning on my lights and taking in a shaky breath, it finally hits me. 

That's what was missing. 

The emptiness, the absence that I thought I understood. It wasn't even absence. 

It was secrecy. 

Everything I thought we shared this summer was completely meaningless, I was nothing but a fucking replacement for his loneliness. He needed me so he wouldn't feel alone, he never actually cared, he just wanted someone to sit with him and make him feel fucking good about himself. 

And I fell for all of it.

I didn't second guess the fact that he never told me about his friends, I didn't question his odd behavior, or how little he spoke of Ilvermorny. I wanted to be there for him so I let all of it go. 

I just wanted to be there. After what Draco did, after the way he made me feel, the last thing I wanted to do was make someone else feel that way. 

But this is different, in a way I'm not sure if I can completely explain. 

I miss Draco. 

I miss his smile, his laugh, his hand in mine. I miss every single thing about him, even the smallest most seemingly insignificant details. 

I still miss Draco, and it's been three years. 

Andrew and I just stopped talking five minutes ago, and I'm not even sure if I'm sad. 

The only feeling towards Andrew of which I'm absolutely certain is unspeakable rage. 

I can't say I've ever felt this way before.

Glancing out at the dark sky, flickering stars and beams of moonlight illuminating my room, I can't help but return to my past thoughts in the car. 

Draco told me once that talking to the moon seemed like the only option on multiple occasions. 

I'd be damned if I didn't try it at least once.

"This is ridiculous, but.. not sure if I have the guts to call Quinn this late." I whisper, my eyelids growing heavier as I roll my eyes. "Not quite sure if I understand myself at this point. I'm lost. I'm stuck and confused and unsure of how to proceed. So that.. that's complete shit. For some fucking reason, I just have zero luck with men. Not sure if that's my fault. They are men, after all. But I thought I was a good judge of character. Apparently not. First, Draco, right? I thought.. I guess I didn't think that would never end in the first place. Now, we haven't spoken in three years, he seems to hate me for some unspoken reason, and I'm never going to be able to ask why." I wipe my cheeks quickly, so rough that my cheeks burn to the touch. "Second, Andrew. Something was... always off between us. I didn't notice it because I didn't want to, I thought it was just good to have another guy I was actually possibly interested in. Even though.. I.. don't even know if I was." I sigh, resting my face in my hands, trying desperately to just navigate the thoughts that frantically spin about my own head. "But I guess I don't really fucking know anything, huh?" 

I look up, staring at the light's source. The moon appears to shine just a bit brighter, and I begin to understand why Draco spoke to the moon so often when he was alone. 

It's nice. 

Even if you know nobody's actually listening.

BACK AT ILVERMORNY A MONTH LATER

Seeing Andrew the first time was just as expected. He stared for a solid couple seconds, then went back to his conversation like nothing happened. 

I'd be lying if I told you it didn't hurt at all. Despite my confused, hazy romance with Andy, I still cared about him. 

Even if I didn't want to kiss or hook up, he was still my friend. 

But I don't think I was ever his. 

I think that all he ever wanted from me was to kiss or fuck. 

That's the only goddamn explanation I could come up with for all of this. 

And honestly?

I want to kick his ass for it.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Stalking towards the Great Hall, Jane jogs to my side, a hint of a smile of her face. 

"I made up my mind." She grins, and I raise an eyebrow. 

"And what exactly is it we're talking about?"

"Quinn convinced me to try out for the Quidditch team." She murmurs, tucking her hair behind her ear, her cheeks and nose a delicate pink in the cool air. 

"That's great! You wanted to be Keeper, yeah?"

"Yes! Since.. since I'm doing better, you know, and I've gotten better practicing over summer, I just.. I just wanted to try, you know?" She mumbles, and I nod. 

"Definitely. I think you'll make it. From what Quinn told me last year, you're pretty great." I smile, and she shoves me so lightly I barely feel it. 

"Shut up." She blushes, and I grin, about to reply. 

"Hey, what's up Davis? How was your summer?" Noah calls, and I stop in my tracks, my jaw setting. Glancing over, I see Noah, Andrew, and Lucas huddled up in a corner of the hall. 

I meet Andrew's gaze. Staring daggers bac at him, it's barely seconds before his eyes cloud over and he looks at the ground.

"Noah, if you ever talk to me again, we're going to have a problem." I growl.

"Wow. Scary." Andrew mutters, and I freeze, my blood running cold as I slowly stalk over, staring down, deep into his eyes as he chews on his lip nervously.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" I breathe, and he grits his teeth.

"Whatever. Right, Davis?" He asks. For a split second, I ponder my options, the many ways in which I could handle this situation calmly, and with a cool, composed attitude. 

But there's absolutely no fun in that.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I smirk, and slap him across the face as hard as I possibly can. 

The entire hall drops completely silent, every student in my peripheral vision turning and staring directly at me. Andrew sucks in his breath, a soft pink blotch forming on his cheek, his eyes widening. 

"Don't you ever fucking disrespect me again."

"Or what? You going to slap me again? Or will this anorexic bitch do something about it?" He answers coolly. I stop. 

Jane. 

He's talking about Jane.

I glance back at her, her beautiful golden eyes full of tears that threaten to spill over her cheeks, her fingers gripping the sides of her shirt so tight her knuckles are ghostly white. 

I won't let him take this away from her. I won't let him be the reason she doesn't try out for that team, and I won't let him be the reason she falls back into her own personal nightmare. Not because of fucking Andrew. 

I don't tolerate bullshit from anyone. 

Especially not from him.

"You are a spineless, disgusting, vile person." I snarl. All three of the boys stare at me, and I grab Andy's robes, slamming him back against the wall. "You pathetic son of a bitch!" I punch him in the face. The sound of his nose squealing and then cracking makes me nauseous, my knuckles screaming in pain as I take in a breath. "Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?! You complete dumbass, I'm going to fucking kill you!" 

"Max-" He starts, pushing me back just a little, and I hit him again, even harder. But this time, he slips on the slick ground, stumbling back and hitting his head against the wall. Andrew falls on the ground, clearly having trouble staying conscious, but I literally can't stop myself from starting forwards again, tears burning my eyes.

Flashes of every memory we had together roll through my head, repeating in a sickening blur.

We were together every day. Every day last summer, every fucking day, and he couldn't even tell anybody he knew who I was?

Fucking pussy.

"Stop it, what the hell are you doing?!" Quinn exclaims suddenly, grabbing me with a single arm and dragging me back a few feet. 

"Quinn, get the fuck off-" I start.

"Max, he's unconscious!" She breathes, and I fall quiet, looking back at Andy, whose body is leaned up against the wall, his eyes shut and his face already swelling and dripping with blood. 

"Who the fuck cares? He deserved it." I whisper, looking down at my throbbing hands, my knuckles split and oozing blood that drips off my palms. Tears fill my eyes and slowly drip down my cheeks as I spin on my heel and stalk back towards my dorm.

What the hell did I just do?


	29. Chapter 25

CURRENT DAY

FRIDAY IN DIVINATION

"Do you see anything in this stupid cup?" Neville mutters, and I look up from my phone, another text from George vibrating in my palm. 

"What?" I breathe. Neville passes me his teacup, and I look at the clump of sopping leaves at the bottom, smirking. "I don't see a thing, Nevs." 

"I don't either." He sighs, taking the cup back and resting his head on the desk, his curls fanned out on the paisley tablecloth. "This class is ridiculous."

"That's one word for it." I reply, glancing back at my phone at a new text in our chat.

georgie: so hows divination

me: obviously not great dumbass

freddie: lmao ur fine 

freddie: it gets worse as times goes on

me: ur rly making me less excited for the next yr

freddie: hey u only have three n a half yrs left ur fine

georgie: no shes got two n a half

freddie: wdym

georgie: come on ilvermorny u didnt tell him??

me: i only told u 

me: jesus christ u moron

georgie: im the moron?

freddie: will sm1 tell me what tf is going on?

me: sprout said i have the grades to move up a year n get in to ur grade

freddie: holy shit no way!!

me: yeah ik

freddie: whatd u say??

georgie: she said she had to think ab it. lame if u ask me

me: fuck off

freddie: do it, maxine

me: call me max

freddie: ill call u anything u want babe ;)

me: stfu loser

fred: but srsly. do it, max

fred: ur wicked smart plus i could see u in class

fred: or out of class, ifyk what i mean ;)

me: arent u w angelina??

fred: idrk 

me: ugh w'll talk ab this after class bye

I set down my phone, and Neville simply stares into his cup with frustration brewing in his eyes.

Blaise breezes past our table, dropping a small piece of parchment in front of Neville as he heads over to speak to Trelawney. I glance at Neville, who's blushing a light pink, picking at his fingers nervously on the desk, his gaze trained on a folded paper rose on his notepad. 

"Open it!" I murmur, and he looks up at me, speechless for a solid ten seconds. 

"But what-"

"Just open it!" 

"Fine, fine." He mumbles, and slowly unfolds the paper, his cheeks turning to a deep, shocking crimson. I tear off the edge of my paper and crumple it into a tiny ball, tossing it at Neville's chest to grab his attention.

"What does it say, what does it say?!" I ask. He tosses me the note. 

Gently unrolling it, I read the few words, breaking into a grin. 

\--5. Meet me at the greenhouse. I'll be waiting.--

"Oh my god, shut up. You have to go." 

"I don't technically have to do anything." Neville murmurs, running a hand through his tangled curls, fumbling with his tie. 

"What? Neville, he's asking you out. You can't just not go."

"I don't know, Max. It's complicated."

"True." I say, and he gives me a look. "I'm not going to lie, it kind of is, but Neville. He likes you, and I'm pretty sure you like him."

"I don't know, though." He murmurs, almost looking as if he's about to cry, his bottom lip trembling just slightly. "I don't know what I want." 

"Oh. Oh, hey, don't cry." I get up, grabbing my bag and extending a hand. "Come on, honey." 

"What?" He breathes, tears shining in his hazel eyes, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip so hard I'm surprised it's not split open. 

"Just come with me. Trust me, love." I say softly, and he finally nods, slipping his hand in mine, getting to his feet and tossing his shoulder bag on. I lead him down the uneven steps, stopping at the courtyard and sitting down on a cement bench, crossing my legs and folding my hands in my lap. "Sit with me, Nevs." I say, and he pauses, looking at the ground. "Don't make me make you sit down, cutie." I smirk, and he sighs, trudging over and sitting beside me. "Give me your hand." He sets his hand in mine, holding my fingers so tight it aches. "Talk to me."

"You're the only one that knows." He whispers. "You're the only one that knows that I like him, Max. What happens if it goes well? Then.. then we date, and.. and people know, and that's scary. Or.. or what if it goes badly? Then he hates me, and then we don't talk anymore, and.. I don't want to... I don't want to mess it up. I feel like I have no options."

"No options? Neville, you always have a ton of options, I can help."

"But you're you, Max." He mutters. I stop for a second, growing confused. 

"What? What does that mean?" I ask quietly. Neville quickly looks up. 

"It's not a bad thing. You just.. you're confident. You don't let anybody affect you, and you came out years ago. You.. you and I are.. very different."

"I know." I say, taking his other hand. "I know that, Neville. But you're one of the best people I've ever met. I see the way you look at him, and I see the way he looks at you. You like him, honey, and if he likes you, he'll be willing to make sure you're comfortable. Even if that means not telling everyone you're together."

"I... guess you're right." 

"Look at me, cutie." I sigh, and he glances up at me. "First of all, I know I'm right." He breaks into a smile, shaking his head slightly. "Second of all, haven't you and Blaise been talking for a few months?" I ask, and he nods once in response. "That means that he cares enough to not want to do anything to make you uncomfortable, love. Just communicate. He seems like a good guy."

"He is a good guy." He says quietly. "I.. I really like him, Max."

"Yeah, I know." I smile, squeezing his hand. "So go change."

"What? Why?"

"I'll be right after you, but I don't wanna walk around in robes. I just gotta go find George super quick."

"But why-"

"We're just going to get you a nice outfit to wear for tonight. Sometimes it helps with confidence, too. Not to mention.. I'm extremely bored, and this seems like it'll be fun." I kiss his cheek. "Go on." 

"Fine, fine." He pulls me into a soft hug, leaning in close. I hold him softly, my face buried in his shoulder, the soft scent of his vanilla shampoo filling my nose. "Thanks, Max."

"Sure. Now go. We want to have enough time before you have to meet him." I give him a slight shove, and he rolls his eyes, slowly walking off.

I get up and start into a jog. Weaving through the halls, trotting down the steep steps to the Slytherin common room, I hastily look around as I tie my hair up.

Seeing him studying across the way, sitting in front of the huge windows, and I finally stop. 

"Hey, Zabini!" I call, and he stops, confused. Glancing back at me, he raises an eyebrow.

"Yes? Do you need something?" He asks, and I walk over, sitting beside him and taking in a deep breath.

"We're the only ones that know."

"Know.. what, exactly?"

"About Neville." I murmur, and he hesitates. "He hasn't told anyone else, and.. he's nervous."

"Is.. Is he not.. coming? Or-"

"No, he is, just.. I know you won't, but.. don't be too hard on him. Seems like you know him pretty well. He's just overwhelmed." 

"Yeah, I could tell. But thanks for telling me."

"Sure." I gasp.

"You seem kind of out of breath, you alright?" He asks, smirking, and I roll my eyes. 

"You walk ridiculously fast, and I had no idea which dorm was yours. I had to run." I sigh. He nods, grinning. 

"You two are good friends, though? You and Neville?"

"Yeah."

"Uh.. he.. what's up.. with us?" Blaise stutters.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I guess I wasn't worried, but you kind of just chased me all the way in here." He says quietly.

"Yeah, because you mean a lot to him." I murmur. "I've dealt with shitty men before, Blaise. A truly unholy amount of them, too. But you've been in the talking stage with Neville for over three months. No well meaning guy just talks to someone for that long, so it's pretty clear to me that you're actually a good guy and.. you like Neville. A lot." I stop, seeing a tiny smile on his face, his fingers tugging at his sleeves. "So I'm just here to make sure you know that if you ever do anything to hurt Neville, I will beat the shit out of you, Zabini." 

"Yeah, yeah. Knock me out, right?" He remarks, and I give him a look. "But.. I won't. Like you said, right? I like him. I wouldn't hurt him. Swear to you, I wouldn't."

"I know. Just making sure." I sigh and get to my feet. "He's just.. he's a really good guy, you know? God, he's so fucking nice, it's ridiculous." 

"Yeah, I know. Believe it or not, he tutored me over summer almost every night in Herbology. Blew off plans to do it, too."

"Over summer?" 

"Yeah, over summer."

"Holy shit. I wouldn't even do that."

"I know, I wouldn't either, but.. he did."

"He checks on me every night to make sure I'm okay here." I smile. "Literally. Every night, it's really precious. Sat with me for a few hours one night when I missed my friends, too." 

"Yeah, he's just an unbelievably good person. Don't want to let him slip through my fingers." He breathes, and I nod. 

"Don't blow it, Zabini." I sigh. He nods. 

"I won't."


	30. Chapter 26

THREE YEARS AGO

ONE WEEK BEFORE I LEFT WILTSHIRE

I wait at my window, my heart in my throat. It's only been a week, but this is one of the last times I'm going to see him. I can't wait to see him. 

My phone buzzes over on my bed, and I reluctantly get to my feet, walking over to see what it was. 

A few texts from Draco have just come through.

10:02 A.M. i can't come today

10:03 A.M. i'm so sorry, boots, I got caught up with quidditch tryouts and couldn't leave

10:03 A.M. but i'll get home next weekend, okay? don't worry

10:03 A.M. i'll be there. i promise.

My heart sinks a little, and I try to ignore the tears brewing in my eyes. 

It'll be okay. Just because he didn't come today doesn't mean I won't see him one more time. 

10:03 A.M. no worries 

10:03 A.M. ill see u in a week

10:04 A.M. miss you

THE DAY I LEFT WILTSHIRE

I glance at the crimson numbers on my nightstand, playing with the necklace, gently pulling the cold metal pendant back and forth. 

12:10 A.M.

Ten minutes past when he said he'd be here. 

He's ten minutes late.

Draco's never late. 

But it's okay, right? This isn't a break, this is just a normal weekend. It may have been harder getting out of school for a little while. I can understand that. It'll be okay, it's okay.

I open up my phone, glancing at the last text he sent.

\--i'll be there. i promise.--

He'll be here. I can just check and make sure he's alright. I pull up the keyboard, sending a quick text back:

12:11 P.M. hey, are you almost here? 

There's no immediate response. 

So I sit and wait. 

And I wait. 

And wait. 

And wait. 

I send a text every few minutes, waiting for a response that never comes. 

Ten minutes drips to an hour. An hour turns to two, then three, then five, then seven. 

But I stay, seated at the window, waiting to see him run up the driveway and knock on the door. 

He wouldn't let me leave without saying goodbye. 

He wouldn't break his promise. 

FORTY MINUTES BEFORE I LEFT WILTSHIRE

I turn to the clock one last time. 

10:51 P.M. 

We have to leave for the airport in less than ten minutes. 

Draco's not coming.

I finally let the sadness roll over me like a tidal wave, pulling my knees to my chest and breaking into sobs. The tears are cold as ice and hot as an open flame, dripping down my face and trickling down my neck, seeping into the collar of my shirt. He promised me. He promised he'd be here. 

He lied to me.

Draco's never lied to me.

After just a few minutes, I walk to the bathroom, rinsing off my face. I manage to pull myself together and hide all signs of crying, drying off my face and smoothing my hair, compressing my sadness into a small ball that rests in my chest. 

I don't need to stress out my parents more, we just need to get to the airport and get home.

I trudge out of the bathroom, grabbing my bag and walking down the steps.

"You alright, honey?" My mother asks, and I nod once. 

"I'm fine. Are we leaving?"

"Yes, your father's in the car. Let's get going, we don't want to miss the plane." She says, stepping outside. I open the door, getting into the backseat and leaning up against the cold window, my breath fogging up the glass as I take one last look at the door.

I hold back tears as we start down the gravel driveway, leaving the house and Wiltshire in the distance.

A DAY AFTER I LEFT WILTSHIRE

My brain is clouded with jetlag, not to mention my body aches with every slight movement, but only one thought runs through my mind. 

I manage to get off of my sofa and check my phone. 

Zero new messages. 

Glancing around, I see a note on the coffee table from my parents. 

"Had to get to straight work, there's food in the fridge. Love you." 

I finally let the tears stream down my cheeks. I didn't want my parents to see this last night, they're going through enough right now. The last thing they needed was the shit I'm dealing with too. 

I pull up the conversation with Draco on my phone. All the messages are still left on delivered. 

He hasn't even opened them. 

But I still type a few messages into the chat, just hoping for a response.

1:34 P.M. hey draco

1:34 P.M. I don't know where you were last yesterday, but it's okay

1:34 P.M. I know things are harder this year at school

1:35 P.M. just text me back, okay?

1:35 P.M. I just want to know you're okay

1:35 P.M. you know that's all i care about

1:38 P.M. I love you

THREE DAYS AFTER I LEFT WILTSHIRE

It's been a few days since I got back, and I still feel run down from the flight, but all I can seem to focus on is Draco. It never takes him more than a couple hours to respond. 

He's intentionally not replying. 

I just don't know why. I know things aren't the same since I moved, but Draco always told me that wouldn't change anything.

He said that wouldn't matter. 

He said that we would still talk. 

He said he loved me. 

So why won't he just text me back?

I pull up the empty chat one more time, trying my best not to cry as I send the last few texts. 

9:10 A.M. I know you're ignoring me 

9:10 A.M. I don't know what I did

9:10 A.M. please, just talk to me, okay?

9:11 A.M. I miss you

9:11 A.M. I love you, bleach boy

THREE MONTHS AFTER I LEFT WILTSHIRE

TWO MONTHS SINCE I GOT TO ILVERMORNY

"You're sure this will help?" I whisper, and Quinn nods. 

"Staring at the stuff he gave you will only make you miss him more. It'll be good to just put it all away. I promise you, it's for the best." She says, and I nod in response, the lump in my throat making it impossible to speak. I gently place in everything, the notes, the letters, and the gifts he gave me, the shoebox stuffed to the brim. 

"Can you help me?"

"With what, Max?"

"I need your help taking the necklace off." I choke out, and she nods, carefully lifting my hair and unclipping the chain. She places the pendant in my palm, and my bottom lip starts to tremble out of my control as I start to cry. 

I thought he'd never leave me. 

I thought that through everything, through everywhere I've moved and everyone I've lost, that I could count on him to be there. 

But he just left me too, and I'll never get to ask why. 

Quinn pulls me into a tight hug, and I grip the necklace tight in my hand, breaking into sobs. 

"I miss him so much."

"I know. But putting this stuff away will help you get through it and move past it. I promise, it will. You just can't have his stuff everywhere making you miss him more." She murmurs, and I nod, dropping the necklace into the box and shutting it. "Now I'm going to put this in your closet, and... you just gotta try and act like it isn't there, okay?" 

"Okay." 

"I'm proud of you, you know." She says, offering half of a smile. "I know that doesn't make you feel any better. But still."

"Thanks, and.. thank you for helping me." 

"Of course. That's what friends are for."


	31. Chapter 27

CURRENT DAY

SATURDAY MORNING

"I just want to know if it went well, Nevs." I sigh, walking slowly by his side, and he nods, hiding a smile. 

"Yeah, it.. actually went really great."

"Really? Tell me all about it." 

"Well, I met him at the greenhouse, like we planned, and we just stayed there. I know that sounds unexciting-"

"Neville, you love the greenhouses. It's not unexciting if you love it, honey. Plus, I'm sure he knew you'd be most comfortable there." I say, and he nods, his delicate fingers entwined in his frizzy hair, his eyes still focused on the stone ground. "You just talked for a while, huh?"

"Yeah. Again, doesn't sound very thrilling, I know."

"No, I get it. Sometimes just talking is actually really nice, especially when you just.. click with someone. Been there."

"Like you and Draco?" He asks, and I stop in my tracks, eyes wide. 

"What?"

"Well.. he's the one. The one you told me about your first full day here, I mean. Isn't he?"

"I.. uh.. how.. how did you.." I stutter. 

"I guess it wasn't that hard to figure out. You both just act sort of odd together, it.. isn't super obvious. But you get tense and uncomfortable, a bit stiff, really. You.. you stop making jokes, you don't really smile, and you either don't look at him at all, or you accidentally stare." He says, and I don't reply, struggling to find the right words to respond. "You don't have to talk about it, just.. it's clear something happened between you two."

"I.. uh.. we were friends. A long time ago."

"You weren't happy to see him, though."

"Yeah, when I moved back to California, he.. not only never said goodbye, he.. just forgot about me. He vanished when I needed him."

"But.. before that. You two had the.. easy, sort of.. natural relationship. Or.. as you called it, you two clicked." He says, and I hesitate before nodding once, picking at the edges of my fingers. 

"Yeah. We clicked."

"And.. just.. to clarify. I don't mean to be rude. But you don't want to try and talk about what happened with him? Seems like he wants to."

"Not really. It's been three years, but I guess I'm still trying to get past it all."

"Makes sense." Neville murmurs. "But I get it, you know. Missing someone you don't want to."

"What?"

"Sorry." He breathes. "it's just.. I think you.. I'm pretty sure you.. miss him. Right?" 

"I.. uh.. yeah, I.. I kind of miss him." I whisper, pulling my arms to my chest. "It's complicated." 

"That's alright." He says, and takes my hand in his. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay, okay. I will." I stop and tug him into a tight hug, leaning into his shoulder. He wraps his big arms around me, the odd, fresh scent of rain and dirt clinging to his clothes, offset by the scent of his rosy shampoo. "Thanks."

"I know you didn't intentionally mean to come here, and I'm pretty sure I've told you this before, but I'm so glad you're here."

"Yeah, I am too. If I had stayed, I think I would've beaten up Andrew again. Rather be here with you than in magical juvie." I sigh, and he chuckles.

"How kind."

"But really, Nevs. I'm so happy I met you."

"Yeah, yeah. Big softie." He mumbles, and I flash a grin. "I need some food before the match, let's go." I trail behind him into the Great Hall, mindlessly stalking to the far left table and sitting down, grabbing a muffin.

I slowly take apart a few pieces, pouring a cup of tea and staring at the texts on my phone start to roll in as it turns on.

Hearing loud, cocky laughter, I hide a smile, already knowing exactly who just walked in.

George plants a kiss on my cheek. 

"And good morning to you too." I murmur.

"So, Ilvermorny? You coming to the Quidditch match, or what?" George asks, sitting beside me, and I shake my head, my focus remaining on my phone.

"No, I'll probably only ever go if you two are playing." 

"Though I'm beyond flattered, darling, you really should come. It'll be fun, you know." Fred adds, and I shrug. 

"I think it'll be nice to just hang out alone for a while. I might end up just calling Quinn or something anyways. I haven't spoken to them for a while." 

"You sure?" George murmurs, and I nod. I don't feel great lying to him, but still. I don't want him to worry about me. "Okay, well, we're on our way. If you change your mind, we'll be going for Gryffindor."

"I thought Gryffindor was Slytherin's rival?"

"Technically, yeah, but you know. We're related to and friends with people on the team, so it's essentially required we support them." George sighs, and I snicker. "Neville, you coming?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Want to come with us?" 

"Sure, but I'm meeting Blaise by the Ravenclaw side." 

"Alright. Last call, Maxine." Fred sings, and I nod once, smiling. 

"I'm good, Freddie. I'll see you guys later."

"Okay, okay. Bye, Ilvermorny." 

"Bye, guys." I reply, and the three of them trot off, leaving the Great Hall mostly empty. 

I make my way out to the hallways, sitting down on the stone floor and pulling my knees to my chest. 

Quinn and Jane are definitely still asleep, it's only five in the morning there. No need to bother them. Not to mention, my mind has decided to just continue buzzing, like an old broken television, simply full of a blurring static even I can't make out. 

I find myself scrolling mindlessly through my phone, not paying a smidge of attention to anything I see before me for at least ten minutes, trying to shut up my own thoughts.

"I want to talk to you." I look up, meeting Draco's gaze, his hands deep in his pockets. My eyes go to a few chains shining around his neck, then back up to his beautiful, ocean blue eyes that stare deep into mine. My eyes drop back low, and I shut off my phone.

"I'm good, thanks." I sigh, getting to my feet and tucking my phone in my pocket. 

"So you're angry today. Got it." He says. I stop, looking back at him. 

Why the hell does he have to be so fucking tall? I'm wearing four inch platforms. I'm six feet tall in these goddamn boots and he's still looking down at me. What the fuck?

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You have two moods around me. You switch between them, depending on the fucking day."

"Excuse me?"

"It's like an everyday goddamn question, Max. 'Is she getting used to being around me, or is she still pissed?'"

"What the fuck does that mean, Draco?"

"It's like you can't make up your mind, it's driving me insane, Max!" He says, and anger builds in my chest. I find myself suddenly relieved that most of the student body is at the Quidditch game and won't hear anything we say. 

"You don't get to be pissed off, Draco!" I shout.

"That's such bullshit, Max! You start to act like everything's okay, like you don't even care what happened, and then you spin around and yell at me or fucking insult me!"

"Because being around you is fucking confusing, Draco! I was perfectly happy with the thought of never seeing you again!"

"Yes, so you've mentioned." He hisses, and I clench my fists. 

"God, you are such an asshole, Draco!" I growl, and he finally falls quiet, sucking in his breath. 

"I've just wanted to talk to you about everything, that's all, Max. That's it."

"I don't want to."

"I'm literally begging you, Max."

"I have shit to do." 

"No, you definitely don't."

"Sorry?"

"You're sitting in the middle of the hallway, and what, you're telling me you're busy?!"

"I have homework!"

"Fred told me." He exhales. "I know you're so ahead in your classes that you're literally considering moving into my year, Max, you don't have shit to do."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Draco, I can't handle this right now." 

"Max. Please. Please, just talk to me for five minutes, I-"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't.. I can't talk to you, I can't do this, I asked you for space, Draco!"

"I know, and I get it, I-"

"No, you fucking don't!"

"I'm trying to understand, you're the one who's shutting me out!"

"No way, seriously? I wonder why." I say dryly, and he grits his teeth. 

"Fucking Christ, you're infuriating, you know that?!"

"I'm not infuriating, I'm stubborn."

"They're basically the same thing."

"Fuck off, Draco, I don't want to talk to you."

"Why won't you just hear me out, Max?!"

"Because I needed you, Draco!" I finally shout, tears burning my eyes as I take in a shaky breath. "I.. I needed you. Draco, I was new to.. all of this. I didn't understand why people hated me because my parents weren't wizards, or how to do magic, or.. any of it. I was alone. I had nobody." I stop, my voice cracking. "I loved you, you meant everything to me, and you.. you fucking disappeared. I don't even know what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Max." He murmurs, and I break into tears, my voice tight and aching softly as I look at the ground. 

"Then why.. why did you... why did you leave, why did you cut me out?" 

"I didn't want to."

"What does that mean?" I ask, and he meets my gaze, his eyes full of tears. 

"I went home that last weekend to see you. I promise you, I did, I would never lie about that. Do.. Do you remember me telling you about my father, and how I told you he'd never find out?" He asks, and I nod, a numb, sick feeling consuming me. That means.. "He found out." Draco whispers. "He locked me in my room and took my wand so I couldn't get out to go see you. He.. uh.. he told me that if I managed to get out, he'd.. he'd kill you, Max." I fall deathly silent, almost unable to breathe, my teeth digging so deep into my lip that it cracks, a droplet of blood seeping into my mouth. "I knew that I'd be able to get out, I'd be able to see you if I really tried, but I also knew my father. I knew he wasn't kidding, he.. he would actually..." He trails off for a second, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Max, and I'm so sorry I couldn't text you and tell you why, I.. I can blame that on my father. He would've checked my phone and I would've been fucked, Max, I couldn't... I couldn't let him hurt you." 

"Why didn't you just tell me that when I got here?" I whisper, wiping my eyes, and he looks down. 

"Because it's been three years, and I hadn't spoken to you since I left for Second Year. You were ticked, and I had no idea how to start that conversation."

"Draco, why.. why didn't you just send a letter, then? Could your father have tracked that or something, I don't understand."

"Because I was scared that you already hated me."

"What are you talking about?" I choke out, and he dries his cheeks with his sleeve. 

"I thought about what I would do. If.. if we were switched, if you're the one that did what I did, and.. I realized that I don't think I would reply if I got a letter. I was.. I was so scared that I already lost you that.. I didn't even try to get you back." He says, and I take a second, trying to think and wrap my head around everything he's told me.

"Draco, I told you. I could never hate you, no.. no matter what, no matter what you did or what happened, I-" 

"Max, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act like this is okay. These last couple weeks, all I've wanted is to tell you that I'm sorry. I know that doesn't.. I know that doesn't fix anything, and you're right to be angry. Really, I'm sorry I was ticked earlier, I just need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Max. That's all." Draco quickly stalks off, leaving me alone, crying in the hallway. 

I slowly head to the common room, my body feeling almost numb, my brain full of fuzz, keeping Draco's words on repeat.

He was protecting me. 

This whole time, every year and month and day and hour and minute that I've been angry, it's been because he was trying to keep me safe. 

He's still an idiot. He still should've told me what was going on, and he still should've reached out or apologized when I got here. 

But he was trying to keep me safe. 

He was trying to protect me.

Draco's sorry. Draco didn't want to hurt me. Draco just wanted me to know that. 


	32. update :)

so. I'm going to start updating once a week to make things easier on myself with everything going on. (every saturday) plus, then, i feel like i won't update late too much bc i dont wanna be that author, yk? but I rly like the idea of just little updates and more personal stuff so I made a tiktok acc! my @ is urbtch_q (u should follow me bc I'll post updates and fun stuff there) so yeah! that's all for now, if there's any updates from now on it'll probably be there :) love u!

-q<3


	33. Chapter 28

I walk to my dorm in a daze, tears cold on my cheeks as I make my way up to the Hufflepuff common room. Weaving through the scattered furniture, I finally make it to my door, swinging it open, the open window blowing in the light scent of rain.

I make a beeline to the closet, knowing I brought it here. 

I wouldn't leave it with Quinn.

Swinging open the doors, I freeze, wiping my cheeks roughly. I reach up and take the small shoebox, smears of dust covering the lid and stuck to the bottom, wiping off onto my palms and sleeves. The edges are are almost caved in from transportation, crumpled and tucked into the inside of the box. 

Sitting down and popping off the lid, I can't stop the tears that fill my eyes. 

It's basically a fucking collection of all things Draco. 

There are at least twenty letters stacked neatly in the upper right corner, all of them wrapped into their original envelopes, beside which are simply notes he would write or little drawings he gave me. Next to the scrappy, torn papers are a pile of the gifts he got that I must've just forgotten about, from a few rings to moving photographs of the scenery here at Hogwarts. 

But the one thing that catches my eye is the shining pendant in the center, the streaks of ruby red shockingly bright in the sunlight, reflecting in tiny fragments on my walls. 

It truly is one of the most beautiful necklaces I've ever seen, and it makes me cringe just thinking about what the cost must have been. 

In a sort of trance, I get up and walk to the bathroom, clipping it around my neck, the slight weight on the back of my neck and seeing it laying on the black clothing I wear bringing tears to my eyes. 

I don't take it off. 

Walking back to the box, I start to open the letters we exchanged, starting to cry silently, my tears running down the bridge of my nose and dripping on the floor as I open the very first one. 

Boots, 

First week at Hogwarts. I'm happy I'm finally here, it's so much more than I imagined. But I miss you. I wish you were here, or I wish I could come back and see you there. I don't want to think about how long it's going to be until I'll see you again. I didn't think it'd be this hard, I guess. You're my best friend. I don't like being this far from you. But that's besides the point, right? Though I hope your school is going well, I'm mostly just hoping you're okay. I don't love the idea of you being alone everyday, and I know you and I know how tough you are, but I'm still going to worry. So please just text me once a day, okay? I want to know you're alright. I love you. I'll send another letter soon, but in the meantime, I did include one of my rings. Just to ensure you won't forget me.

-Draco

I tuck the note back into the envelope, picking through the box, until I see the ring he was talking about. A silver twisted snake ring, with small engraved scales and features. I must have kept everything from all of the letters.

I shuffle through a few shorter ones until I find one just a bit nicer than the others. It was probably sent later.

Hey Boots, 

It's almost the last week til Christmas and we have tests for all of next week. I'm so sorry I haven't been texting or writing lately, there's a lot I have to do and I've been busy. But I don't want you to think I've forgotten you. I'll come see you a few days after I get back so my mother doesn't get too suspicious. I miss you more than anything, though. Truly, I do. I didn't know I could miss someone this much. I think about you every day. I can't wait to see you, so until then, I thought I'd send a photo. Show you what it's actually like here. I love you. I'll be back soon. 

-Draco

Behind the note lays a moving photo of Draco and another younger, scrawny boy, who I immediately realize is Fred, smiling just a bit at the dorky, crooked grin on his face. Behind them is the snow covered Shrieking Shack. 

I can't help but assume George was the one who took the photo. 

I find myself staring at the everything else in the box, lost in thought and starting to doze off, my eyes fixated on the small moving image.

TWO HOURS LATER

I sit up suddenly, coughing a little and rubbing my eyes, my lashes tangled and webbed together with crusted mascara. Roughly wiping my eyes and smudging my eyeshadow across my cheek, I notice that clouds have filled the once sunny sky.

Glancing at the clock, I almost startle myself awake, realizing I passed out through all of Transfiguration. Too much time has passed. McGonagall is going to be pissed. 

I hastily grab my robes and trot down the steps, heading to McGonagall's classroom to explain. Maybe I can come up with some random excuse that'll make her a bit nicer when we have class together next, because God knows I'm not going to tell her the real reason. 

Can you imagine? 

Hey Professor! Sorry I missed your class, I was crying over photos of an old friend of mine who just admitted that the argument we've been in for years was a complete misunderstanding! It's not that big of a deal, I'm just totally lost and don't know what the fuck to do from here!

It's only an existential crisis at fifteen years old. 

We've all been there, right?

I run right into someone as I round the corner, stumbling backwards.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" I say, glancing up and meeting her eyes. She has long locks of pin straight hair, almost black in color. The top half tied up with a velvet bow, revealing an under layer of bleached blonde hair. Her eyes are dark as night, and her dress is black and midi length, skin tight, with a v neck and tight sleeves. She looks oddly elegant, and quite beautiful. 

"That's just fine, dear, it was my fault too." She answers, and I nod. 

"Still. Definitely could've been watching where I was going, I guess." 

"Again, not an issue. Truly, it's alright. But you're not from around here, are you?"

"Oh, no. I'm from Ilvermorny for the year."

"How exciting, do you like it here?"

"Yeah. It's so much better than Ilvermorny, it's really incredible."

"Are you thinking of transferring? I'm sure they'd love to keep you." 

"I.. hadn't.. really thought about it.. until now." I breathe. I fall quiet, realizing that's a very real option. Plus, with what happened with Draco, it seems like things could get even better. He was the only real obstacle. 

Guess it isn't even an obstacle anymore.

"If you miss Ilvermorny, though, I'm sure it'd be nice to just spend this year here."

"I just miss a couple people." I smile. "Not much else, I-"

"Your necklace." She says, her thin eyebrows furrowed. I grow confused.

"I'm sorry?"

"That necklace, where.. where did you get it?" She murmurs, and the blood rushes to my cheeks. The necklace Draco gave me. I'm wearing it, I forgot to take it off this morning after I passed out.

"An.. uh.. an old friend. He.. he gave it.. to me." I stutter.

"It looks exactly like an old necklace I had." She says quietly, and I look at her again, falling silent. The bleached hair, the strangely beautiful gown, the perfect posture. He said it used to belong to her. 

It isn't like the old necklace she had. 

It is the old necklace she had. 

"Anyways, I'm Narcissa Malfoy. Who might you be?" I struggle to answer for a second, my mind buzzing.

"I.. uh.. I'm Max. Max Davis." I breathe. Narcissa stops for a second, and then nods.

"Nice to meet you." I shake her extended hand, and see her break into a smile, waving at someone.

"Uh.. hey Mum." I glance over, and Draco and I stare at each other for an awkward second, the blood rushing to my cheeks as his eyes trail down to the pendant around my neck. "Max." He exhales, nodding once.

"Draco." I reply shortly, and she pulls him into a tight embrace.

"Sorry for the late notice. There's a lot going on, I just need to speak with you."

"That's alright. I.. um.. I'm assuming you met Max."

"Yes, I did."

"I.. uh.. I.. have to.. meet George. Now. It.. it was nice meeting you." I whisper. 

"You too." She answers, and I spin on my heel and quickly walk off. 

I find myself walking right back to the common room, too tired and too overwhelmed to even imagine what a conversation with McGonagall would be like right now. 

Letting my feet carry me, my mind is beyond absent, only focused on one thing. The one thing I've been trying not to focus on for the last few years.

EIGHT HOURS LATER

"Hey, you seem.. off." George murmurs, sitting up on the floor. 

"What?"

"You're barely listening to me, you haven't been for the last few hours." He whines.

"I'm fine, you don't have to-"

"Maxine, your mind is elsewhere, so tell me. What's going on?"

"I don't know. Nothing."

"You don't know, or nothing?"

"Georgie-"

"Okay, okay. I'll leave you with your thoughts, love." He kisses my cheek and gets up. 

"George, it's only midnight, you're supposed to stay the night here. What-"

"Love you!" He struts out, and I lay back on the comforter, sighing.

I sit in bed, staring at the ceiling, the soft music playing lifelessly in the back of my mind before the record comes to a scratching halt. He didn't want to hurt me. He couldn't come see me, he tried to come see me, and he couldn't. It wasn't his fault.

Unable to hold myself together any longer, I break into tears, thoughts spinning around in my head and becoming my own personal enemy.

He didn't send you any letters. He didn't reach out.

But he was scared of his father, that wasn't his fault.

That doesn't mean he couldn't check on me just once or explain.

It's Draco. I know he cared.

Did he?

Yeah. Of course he did.

He has magic. He could've visited Ilvermorny if he really wanted to.

That's not true, if his father caught him talking to me, he'd be in danger.

His father can't track who sends mail at school.

He cared. He spent almost every day of his breaks keeping me company instead of being with his parents.

If he cared, he would've communicated.

That's not true.

You know it is. It's not hard to send an owl from your dorm window.

He loved me.

That's not how you show love.

It doesn't matter, I know he did. I know him.

Maybe you should ask him, then.

I should talk to Draco.

I could've sent a letter to him.

I should've reached out too.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so mean.

I know Draco, and he knows you.

I need to go talk to Draco.

I loved him. 

Loved? Or love?

I need to talk to him.

I have to make this right.


End file.
